Tyler profile picture

Tyler

About Me



Turn Ons: Long walks on the beach, rollerskating in the rain, women who don’t cry during commercials

Turn Offs: laundry, bills, women who cry during commercials

I’m a simple guy with relatively simple taste. I value honesty and an easy day at work. Sarcasm is held in my highest esteem, so I like smart people with a bit of spunk to them.

I’m an EMT, which basically means I take old and crazy people to and from hospitals and convolescent homes while never actually treating their problems. I drive (well, usually I make my partners drive) a medical taxi basically. The world isn’t quite ready for my brilliance, so I hide it in a crappy apartment filled with trash, and work this stupid job as a cover-up until I can unleash my magic on the masses.

My Interests


Drinking, talking to people and drinking, talking to myself and drinking, minor vandalism of the DIC rig, surfing, women, especially blonde women… especially blonde women named Megan.

If you’re reading this, “Hi, Megan.”

I'd like to meet:



Yoda or Bob Dylan. Or maybe Yoda doing Bob Dylan covers at an open mic somewhere.

Music:


Sonic Youth, Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire, Elvis (young and old), Prince, Sly and the Family Stone, Transmissions, Death to Anders, Hank Williams, P-Funk, Gnarles Barkley, Gorillaz.

The Titanic Soundtrack makes me cry.

Movies:


Ski School, Old School, School of Rock, True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Animal House, Lord of the Rings Trilogy (it makes me think of One Foot), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Star Wars (4,5,6), Serenity, Get on the Bus, Juice, New Jack City, Skid Marks.

Television:


House, Scrubs, ER, Strong Medicine (some of those doctors are hot), Family Guy, Simpsons, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Strangers with Candy, Daily Show, Firefly, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Baywatch, Baywatch: Hawaii, Red Shoe Diaries.

Books:


Plato’s Republic, Nietzsche’s Genealogy of Morals, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Andre Dubus Short Stories, Anything pop-up or scratch-and-sniff, Where the Wild Things Are, If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, The Fountainhead.

Heroes:


My pops I guess