a/k/a turbo rattler profile picture

a/k/a turbo rattler

well, get on with it, motherfuckers.

About Me

I got my rituals: Saturday lunch from Sammy's Halal on Steinway. Sunday evening Jordanian bakery from Laziza. I drink tea, with milk. I like my coffee, French-pressed.

I work a shit-ton, because I love what I do.

I like baseball, occasionally cooking, and going out to eat.

Intense, high bandwidth, and fucking insane. I am pretty fucking funny. You wish you could watch me do my thing.

My Interests

+ my new xm radio.

+ magic baseball.

+ staying in.

+ maintaining my caseload.

+ working my cases.

+ personality crimes.

+ national security misdemeanors.

+ vindictive summons trial bureau.

+ taking my mom out to lunch.

+ saturday errands with my father, including the polish bakery in his old neighborhood.

+ standing up for the midwest, the south, and the cities of baltimore and cleveland.

+ looking after the cats.

I'd like to meet:

You don't break my stride.

Don't speak and/or write like you want to be in the New Yorker but suck. I "intensely dislike" that style.

Music:

I don't give a fuck about your skinhead pride and I couldn't care less about the lower east side.

Movies:

The French Connection, Breathless, Ronin, The Conversation, L.A. Confidential, The Third Man, etc.

Television:

Baseball. I can watch any game, though I follow the Tribe, the O's, and the Mets.

Cavs basketball.

Milton Friedman's "Free to Choose."

Mortimer Adler's "Six Great Ideas."

The Wire. Homicide. The Shield. Deadwood.

Seinfeld. Friends.

Jim Lehrer NewsHour. Meet the Press. 60 Minutes. C-Span.

Books:

I have been reading a lot of nonfiction lately, mostly having to do with economics and sports and the economic analysis of sports, as well as economics and crime and the economic analysis of crime.

gombrowicz: cosmos.

solzhenitsyn: the gulag archipelago; the first circle; the cancer ward.

kafka: the trial.

new york penal law; new york criminal procedure law.

blogs: cato-at-liberty; firejoemorgan; deadspin; letsgotribe; cafehayek; dynamist; theagitator; marketcorrection; marginalrevolution; etc.

Heroes:

1986 Cleveland Browns.
1987 Cleveland Browns.
1988-89 Cleveland Cavaliers.
1989 Baltimore Orioles.
1991-92 Cleveland Cavaliers.
1995 Cleveland Indians.
1997 Cleveland Indians.
2005 Cleveland Indians.
I was torn when both the Orioles and Indians had great playoff teams in the middle to late 1990s.

My Blog

Proudest professional moment.

"It should also be noted that [Turbo Rattler's] persistence resulted in a plea being taken on a disorderly conduct for seven days jail. The police suspected that [Ms. EDP]  had burglarized an eld...
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 07:55:00 PST

You fucking child.

...
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 09:45:00 PST

lalala

How can you stalk a girl you aint even fucked yet, and never will?  
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 07:10:00 PST

Character

Last weekend, we watched football together.  I dislike your team, and I find your fans, with their pathological sense of entitlement, quite obnoxious.I knew your team was going to lose, but I did...
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 03:15:00 PST

YOU AMUSE ME.

I MUST EXPRESS AN OPINION ON EVERYTHING.I MUST OPINE ABOUT THINGS WHICH I KNOW LITTLE ABOUT.I DO NO ANALYSIS. ALL MY OPINIONS ARE PLATITUDES.MY FRIENDS WHO DONT KNOW ANY BETTER WILL BE IMPRESSED.I WIL...
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 04:16:00 PST

pleated pants compensation . . .

Regrettably, I own one pair of pleated pants, and they belong to my second best suit.  Now that I get my suits tailored to my specifications, this will be the last pair of pleated pants I ever ow...
Posted by a/k/a turbo rattler on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 04:05:00 PST