I could be the greatest person who ever lived, except for the fact that I'm not. I'm one of the smartest people on the planet, but instead of curing diseases or something like that, I work at Wal-Mart and aspire to be a professional wrestler. I possess a fine sense of humor, but I spend too much time not talking to people for most folks to realize that. I'm a decent athlete, but my disdain for exercise and love for food prevent me from taking advantage of that. I think I'm a pretty good-looking guy, but I walk around with a semi-permanent scowl and often have ridiculous mutton chops hanging off of my face. Fortunately, I have faith that I will eventually put my near-infinite talents to good use, and then I'll own all your sorry asses, so choke on that. Now it's time for random nuggets of information:
-I plan on running for President of the United States in 2032. Seriously.
-I own a lot of cool, random things. For instance: a grappling hook, an animated chimp head, Kurt Angle's SmackDown General Manager sign that hung in his office back when he held that position, a Santa Claus that rides in my car at almost all times, and I'm part-owner of half of a wrestling ring.
-I put my pants on two legs at a time, just so that phrase about someone putting their pants on one leg at a time like everybody else doesn't apply to me.
-I once performed as a clown at a birthday party, and I was able to wear clothes that are part of my regualr wardrobe.
-I can take a blow to the head better than most people. I don't really like using that ability, but it's nice to know it's there.
-I've never heard a country song that I didn't absolutely hate. I would think that I'd have at least heard a tolerable one, but I haven't.
-Purple is my favorite color. I also like pink a lot. No, I'm not gay.
-I once wrestled with a Rottweiler. Sure, it was only a puppy, but it sounds a lot cooler if I leave that part out.
-Bill Finger doesn't get enough credit for helping to create Batman. I know that has nothing to do with me, but more people should be aware of it.
-I have anger issues that I believe come from a combination of sexual frustration and the fact that most of the rest of the world is so much dumber than me (I know that sounds arrogant, but it's true). Luckily, I usually manage it through sarcasm (and sometimes just actually being a dick) and wrestling, though I've been unable to wrestle for the last few years.
-If I ever become a porn star, I'm using the name Rodimus Prime. Such a thing is unlikely, though, since I don't exactly have the right build for porn, if you catch my drift. I'd also probably have serious issues with professionalism.
-I'm the only grand slam champion in the history of New Era Wrestling, the greatest backyard wrestling promotion that ever existed. I held the NEW heavyweight championship, as well as the now-defunct U.S. Title, Extreme Title, and Tag Team Titles.
-I hate driving. Unfortunately, I have to do it a lot because I don't work or have any friends close to my house.
-Gwen Stefani is probably my least favorite person on Earth. Well, not counting murderers, child molesters, etc.
-I suppose I have to technically consider myself to be straight-edge, but nearly all straight-edge people can kiss my ass.
-I've never lost a fight in my life (but I've only been in one, and it got broken up pretty quickly).
-My dream car is the Batmobile (any version of it will do).
The world needs heroes
And I'm here to provide one
Behold my greatness
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Michael Christian Lowman
Birthday: October 9, 1981
Birthplace: Huntsville, Alabama, United States of America
Current Location: Canton, Georgia
Eye Color: I'm not sure
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'11"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Handed
Your Heritage: German and Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Pink, purple, orange, red, yellow, and green Nikes
Your Weakness: I'm not as outgoing as I'd like to be
Your Fears: Nothing
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni and bacon
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Wrestle professionally, get some
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: N/A
Thoughts First Waking Up: What time is it?
Your Best Physical Feature: My tongue. It's long.
Your Bedtime: Too damn early
Your Most Missed Memory: NEW
Pepsi or Coke: Milk
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King, they put four pieces of meat in one bun!
Single or Group Dates: Never been on either, so I wouldn't know
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea sucks ass
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: No
Do you Smoke: We flushed your sin sticks down to Hell. Smokers are jokers. Smokers are jokers!
Do you Swear: When I have to
Do you Sing: Yes, but quietly and poorly
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love: Possibly
Do you want to go to College: No
Do you want to get Married: Sure
Do you belive in yourself: Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes. I wish someone agreed with me.
Are you a Health Freak: No, but I need to be
Do you get along with your Parents: Sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms: No
Do you play an Instrument: No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I've eaten a significant portion of one
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: No
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been called a Tease: Not to my face
Ever been Beaten up: In a wrestling ring
Ever Shoplifted: No
How do you want to Die: Bitten by a vampire
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Professional wrestler, President of the United States, Dread Pirate Roberts
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Irrelevant
Favourite Hair Color: Red
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: Don't care
Weight: Something proper for her size
Best Clothing Style: T-Shirt and jeans
Number of Drugs I have taken: Illegal: 0; Legal: not many
Number of CDs I own: 211
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos: 0, for now
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 0
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