Chat up Clive goes into a posh bar..
Hey baby, do I stand a chance with you or shall I just move on to your fat friend?
Excuse me are you dancing..? No, I wasn't asking I was just wondering what you were trying to do. Can someone come over here i think she's going to bite her tongue.. Or mine.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'U' and 'I' together.. It's nothing personal I'm just a bit dyslexic.
O' hello.. I see you've got your own gaffer tape.. what a tease.
'Ello.. You look like the girl of my dreams.. 'Part from the fact your not naked.. With eyes for nipples and a carrier bag for a face and your not on fire with a knife behind your back.. And you don't look much like my mother.. But apart from that you look exactly like her.
Hey baby.. We're like 2 banks, both got interest in each other and we should merge together and you look like you have 100 customers a day.. All making big deposits.
O' ello babe, didn't I see you on the telly when you got stuck up the Thames? 'Cause you look like a fat whale.
Often I wonder what it feels to talk to the hottest girl in the room... Then I saw you talking to her, were you intimidated?! Huh?! Were you intimidated?!
So you like a guy with a sense of humour eh.. Well here's a gag.. And a blindfold.. And some gloves.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this..? Oh, business? You're a whore? Well it is a brothel.
Was your dad a thief? No I don't mean 'cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes! You just look a bit shifty thats all.
Do you believe in love at first sight? OH, what's that? A guide dog. I don't suppose you would then... Anyway, I'm Clive, 6 foot 2', rugidly handsome, clean skin, no boils. Anywhere.
How would you like to kiss this frog..? To see if I turn into prince charming.. No? Well how about tasting my tadpole surprise? ..It's hard to make eye contact when you have your thumb in my eye.
Are you off the telly? ..No? You remind me of two programs, you have the body of Baywatch and the face of crimewatch.. Bobwatch.. Where are you going..? To get your coat..?
'Ello love. How do you like your eggs in the morning..? I like mine fertilised.. That particular tazer your using works better in the neck area.
Wow this is posh, no saw dust on the floor.. 'Ello love, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this.. Weight Watchers is down the road.. See you could have slapped me, if you hadn't got a pint in one hand and a pie in the other.. Call me.
Is your dad a terrorist.. Because you're the bomb.
Hello love, do you recognise me? No? Well I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I would like to make your bed rock.. Where are you going? Yabba dabba doooo!
You remind me of my moped, you're a great ride until my mates find out.. Don't go! They don't know yet..
You have a sexual IQ of 157
When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends.
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
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