aRaNate

Getting tan [Joke]

Sarah, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no ...
Posted by aRaNate on Mon, 13 Aug 2007 06:09:00 PST

Quotes about Attitude

" The winner's edge is not in a gifted birth, a high IQ, or in talent. The winner's edge is all in the attitude, not aptitude. Attitude is the criterion for success. "- Denis Waitley" If you can imagi...
Posted by aRaNate on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 07:37:00 PST

Cute Valentine Day Q&A Joke

Q. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?A. I love you a ton!Q. What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine's Day?A. You're fun to hang around with!Q. What di...
Posted by aRaNate on Sun, 11 Feb 2007 11:20:00 PST

Advice Quotes

"He who slings mud generally loses ground."- Adlai Stevenson"If you can't be kind, at least be vague."- Judith Manners"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ...
Posted by aRaNate on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 10:12:00 PST

Funny Puns

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don'...
Posted by aRaNate on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 07:15:00 PST

Ad Slogans Gone Wrong

Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is ...
Posted by aRaNate on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 12:26:00 PST

Romantic/UnRomantic Two Liners

The most romantic first line and most unromantic second1. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so...
Posted by aRaNate on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 12:17:00 PST

Funny Christmas Quotes

The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gif...
Posted by aRaNate on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 10:15:00 PST

Onliners about Men and/or Women

1.  Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.2. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.3. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.4. The ...
Posted by aRaNate on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 09:20:00 PST

Quotes about being Sexy

When somebody gives you a sexy look, you know they're trying. It's terrible! But when you smile, it's so much sexier!- Joseph AddisonI find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sens...
Posted by aRaNate on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 12:37:00 PST