Sleeping with girls, and their mothers, and their roomates-but you can't invite them to parties cause they steal, Dressing up as chandler for halloween, Fireball, XTREME fireball, hammer darts, The Knicks, Sandwhiches, My boat, the Mr. Bowmont, hugging Chandler, Bamboozled, losing to Rachael in coin toss, heads she wins tails i lose, Fooseball, me n chan slingshooting water balloons at teenagers, strip poker, napping with Ross, stuffing 15 oreos in my mouth, being a minister, watching rach and mon make-out for 10 seconds(we lost the apartment for it but it was worth it!), ENGLAND BABY!!, giving chandler a hug as a present on his 30th birthday, being a mento for kids, risking my life for a sandwhich, putting on scary music/sounds to scare the duck, showing pheobes boy triplet a video of playboy magazine before he was born, keeping condoms in an emergency box in case of flood, etc.(we may have to repopulate the earth), on all of our first new years together kissing chandler at midnight, femine stuff with janine, me an chan trying to see if we're ovulating(me as of 2pm today), saying out the dialogue on my scripts, spelling help backwards so the helicopter can read it from the air, me and chan being bank buddies, dancing with mr. treiger, trying to get my photo put up at the drycleaners, giving presents that are something else(a pen that is also a clock, a book that is also a safe!), joey coupons, me and chan using scotch tape to make scary faces
Carl, my identical twin, DAMNIT CARL! my hand twin, the dead Estelle that called me, whoever says"Thank God your pretty", finding ross a date-"the sky is blue ross, and i had sex yesterday", stupid guy on my phone-i do to think about the consequences of my descisions, leonard hayes said i was a bad kisser, what does he know about kissing! Rachel for baby locking the two things i like the toilet and fridge! mike hannigan who hit my mom with a car, red ross
To Rachel : "All i wanted to do was grab you and kiss you but you didn't know, so i pretended it was cool, but really it was killing me. (kneels down) I know i shouldnt be there, but i just wanted to look at you...and i remember all those mornings before you even put on make-up and all i thought was "My God she is.....beautiful". And it hurt so much 'cause i knew i could never tell you (looks down), but it was worth it to be there...looking at you"
DIE HARD! inspect-her-gadget, dr. do me a little, good will humping, in and out and in again, Bambi(not for Chandler whos dead inside), i was the star in shutterspeed, I was in Outbreak 3: The Virus takes Manhatten, Titanic-those two had only each other!, Kujo, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff!
"Bell Rings" Baywatch!, Days of our Lives(I write my own lines)so they gave me the shaft, Law and Order, Mac and c.h.e.e.z., Beavis and Butt-head, a rabbi playing electric guitar, Amazing New Discoveries
reading my letter "V" encyclopedia(so i don't hav to laugh at what I don't understand), i thought Van Gough cut off his ear cause he sucked, WHO KNEW, what to expect when you expected, dr. suess, reading the back of waffle crisp cereal, The Snining, Little Women, shame on you tv guide a mans ass in not nudity! me and chans t.v. guide is addressed to us as Miss Chinandaler Bong, only 97% of condoms work they should print that on the box! The official rule book of Fireball
Word of the day toliet paper, My imaginary friend maurice who professions as a spaceboy, Rosita my miracle chair(damn u Rach), Stevie the t.v., The miracle wax, The Chick and Duck, Chan i mean GENE, Ross a.k.a Dr. Fun - for his UNAGI method and i feel sorry he bruises like a peach, Pat the Dog, Hugsy, my mother gloria tribbiani a handsome lady who gave birth to 7 children, Mon and Chan givers and recievers giving and recieving, R.I.P. Fooseball Table, Pete Chicagoooo, Mon again for teaching me her porche is not used to show off my lady friends, OR eat spaghetti, Frank Jr. for choosing me has his best man, standard shotgun rules(that's how i got monicas room when we won the apartment), my dads "joey what are you doing with your life" speech, pheebs-she can turn on and off the t.v. with her eyes blinking! the singing guy outside my bedroom window-morrrrnnnninngsss herrrrrree