sex,drugs,and rock and roll
I'd like to meet:
a chic who enjoys music as muck as i do. and who is as weird and goofy as i!
i like to impeach god
i like to abort christ
i like to fuck sheep
i like to assaninate the greater and lesser of two evils!
Music:
punk rock mother fuckers
death metal motherfuckers
i like me some music!!!
Movies:
horror flicks up the ass!!!!
Television:
So I'm hangin' out with all of my buddies, and uh, I realize something, I realize something. Think of the group of people you've known the longest in your life. Think of the group of friends you've hung out with the most, maybe you're all here tonight. And this is what I realized, I had an epiphany, and here it is, right here: There is one person, in every group of friends, that nobody fucking likes. You basically keep them there, to hate their guts. When that person is not around the rest of your little base camp, your hobby, is cutting that person down. Example: "Karen, is always a douchebag." Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche. And when she's not around, you just look at each other and say, "God, Karen, she's such a douchebag!". Until she walks up, then you're like, "Hey, what's up Kar-? Kar-. What's up Kar-?" There's always that one person - and I'm lookin' out and some of guys are like "Umm, I disagree." Well you're the person - You're the person nobody likes. [Person from audience mumbles] "That's so true." I know, it is so true, and that's why it's funny. It is so true, that's why it's funny, because, it's so true, hence, funny. Your whole life that person has been there. That's how Brian is in our group. Nobody likes Brian. Yet everywhere we go, Brian would show up, even if we didn't tell him where we were going. We would go someplace and he would do that I Just Found You run. "H-h-h-h-hi guys. What's up guys?" And one of us would always see him and warn the rest of the group. We'd be like, "Fucking Brian is coming." "What?" [whispered] "Fucking Brian is coming." That's his name, Fucking Brian Is Coming. I heard a rumor, when he was born, even the doctor said, "Fucking Brian is coming. Let's get this demon seed out of here." That's what I'm saying - quote, unquote. And you can quote me on the quote, unquote.
~dane cook~
Books:
any thing steven king
Heroes:
dan dahill
kurt cobain
jonny cash
dimebag darrel
elvis
jami!!!!!
little spoon!and his g/f
