This morning I woke up in ecstasy, half dreaming, half awake. Remembering the times I used to wake up blissfully, in joy and wonder what I have to offer for the world. One sound of the alarm beep and my eyes would open wide, my mind becoming as ecstatic as my body. Still, my mind was as loose then as it is now, even at the break of dawn. Only now, I hesitantly gaze out of the opening slits through my eyes, wondering what the world has to offer me today.
Just last year I would glide to school almost in utter excitement to see my friends and do what I had to do, to the point of almost having a goal, or rather the desire to do something great. But now I feel like I’m going in circles. Watching every year passing by, thinking, it might as well be just another day and in that just single day, I might as well just be a foolish hamster. Not knowing where it is that I am going - not caring, because as long as I spin that wheel, willingly, carelessly even, I would be able to sustain myself from disappointment. I feel no interest in my life, therefore cannot show you any enterprise but I am a pessimistic being, and if anything, that’s what I like most about my life.
To be able to find the worst in things helps me step out of the world into space, into nothing and view the world in a new spectrum which belongs to only me. It helps me find gleeful joy in deprived moments because it is what it is, an inspiration even to help me going, help me writing and help me find good in bad. Being at an advantage of being invisible, taking that opportunity to view the “outsiders†interacting, mating, and even individualism, and being able to find irony in such sincere behaviors is a just cause of pessimism.
The epiphany from pessimism, of how there is good to everything evil, and the intensity of that illusion is the cause of every tone of inspiration I may achieve and every purpose I may find towards my life. This is why I chose to be a pessimist after all, because once you are at the very bottom, there’s no where else to go but higher ground.
I am self-absorbed, snobby, concieted and someone you would probably love to be with because of my fantastic, ignorant being. I love partying and having fun. I like gold necklaces with hanging decorations. kinda like the egyptian jewlery when there was still phareos and slaves and what not. I love the color green... lime green. I hate muck. and walking in the snow when theres muck. I write poerty, which I very much enjoy. Although, I'm not the best, yet. I heal quickly. I love Teddy Grams but I'd have to say my favorite foood is pasta! but Teddy Grams is awesome too. I'm bored. almost all the time. I love the fall and walking through the leaves. I love boat tripping and fishing. Mountain hiking is nice too. I hate New York. sometimes. I'd rather run into the fields of Alabama. smelling dandilions. mmm. But I love the New York rush. sometimes. I daydream a lott. I think about life, philosophy, religion, people, and well, "what if's". I'm very much interested in philosophy and religion. Although I do have a religion of my own, I enjoy learning about other peoples faith and what keeps them moving. Philosophy would be my favorite subject to talk about. I like the rain. sometimes. when it's not too cold. and I love the mist no matter what. Especially when you can't see an inch before you. oh, and I absolutely HATE waiting for the bus when its cold. espcially the Q25... I sleep a lot and I love to eat. ok bye.
Janet --
[noun]:
A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com
