Rachel Cybotika profile picture

Rachel Cybotika

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


[ c o n s t a n t . c h a n g e ]
She is the girl who walked past you and you never heard a word, although she had said a "pardon me" She's the girl who looked you right in the face..Stared right through you and never saw a thing. The girl who lets go before she comes even close to holding on. The girl who Lives to Please No One & Strive to live up to Her Own Expectations. She's the Girl who is a total loser & likes to keep it that way ; Who Refuses to Let Herself Down However, In the end, She always seems to in the smallest of ways. She's accepting and forgiving, more so than she should be, at times. She never holds a grudge, and has a hard time understanding other's "spite". She takes everything in stride and laughs off the strongest of "Pain". She's fairly easy going and it takes a lot to annoy her. She wont dwell on the "Simple Shit" about herself, at the end of the day She has got a lot of bigger problems to worry about. She hates Simple Drama, and seems to always be put in the middle of it. She's the girl who seems as if she isn't listening; Lame truth ; is that She is just So Easily Distracted. She's [OCD - ADD] & Extremely Sarcastic. She's an Optimistic Realist, who comes off Pessimistic. She's Blunt & Straight Forward and usually comes off as a "Bitch" before she has time to realize. She walks like shes ready to kill; truth is shes waiting for a "face" to make her smile. [ She almost always looks pissed off, though shes not. ] She Doesn't have a lot of Female Friends & Seems to get along better with Males. 98.9% of the time she is a mess and Honestly, she couldn't care less. She Greatly lacks the art of tact. She dislikes flattery & Prefers Straight Out Truth. She will never take a Compliment well, nor will she "fish" for them. She'd rather work, than sit around all day. On average she has about 30 bruises on her shins. It Takes a hell of a lot before she becomes Verbally Phased, Although 24/7 She fights a need to stomp someone's face in...[ She may try to brush too many things aside that she just doesn't want to face ] She'll run as if She's Constantly Frightened - So Strange, is it That She's Never Afraid. She'll allow No One "Close", but will Hold a Constant Need to Feel "Secure". She will walk in Contradiction of herself every other day, in order to stay True to the girl she is inside. And Though her words come in "broken text" - Her Silence will mean so much more. When Given Time Of Explanation, and the secutrity to Open Up, This would all Make Sense. However, stands the fact - She will forever be the girl who walked away, before she even came close to Opening Up.
She likes being alone and feeling alive. She listens in order to feel. She feels in order to cry. She writes in order to Speak. She dreams in order to survive. She'll speak in riddles in order to "leave things to the mind". [ open ended ] She'll answer anything she is asked. She'll Hide nothing , but hold in everything . She'd drop everything in a matter of moments, if only time could stop.
Separated from the womb, since 1987 and survives in a small town in Maryland. She lives stagnate and dying more and more everyday waiting for a chance or a "break" to get out. She lives in a house, however work is her "home". She hates standing still ; And bores herself very easily. She changes her mind ever 6 seconds and falls through every category, Just to land on Her Own Ground. She steps to her own path, she lives to her own line, She understands this is life its all been done before...She had never been the first and she will never be the last. She will only be herself -the most she could ever hope for...
As for my appearance, it varies on a day to day basis. One day I may be all fancied up, parading around with Hair Falls and Tons of makeup, and the next wearing jeans and a Tee Shirt with close to no makeup, at all. The most consistent thing about me will always be my Inconstancy and My Need to stay true to Only Myself

My Interests


THINGS I LIKE
Creativity : Eccentricities : Abnormalities : Individuality : Different Points of Perspective : Confidence , Without Arrogance [There can be a fine line] : Art : Photography [ DEVAINT ART ACCOUNT ] & [ FLICKR PORTFOLIO ] : Piercings : Tattoos : Body Modifications : Suspension : Showers : Working : Thinking : Walking : Talking : Silence : Debates : Animals [Bear & Pixxy] : Road Trips : Candles : Graphic Design : Standing on hill tops, feeling the sun on my face, letting the world surround me, letting the wind erase me : Walking on fresh black top : Looking at Spilled Paint : Shiny Metal : Rusty Metal : Spray Paint Cans : Looking at broken glass : Old & Broken "Trash" - That had once been loved by someone : Gravity : The Sky : Being Calm : Living Through Hell : Surviving : Walking Away : Being Just Like Everyone Else : Static : Confusion : White Noise : Contradiction : Change : Truth : Work : Money [ that I won't spend ] : Work : Having No Free Time

My Dad.
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I have a fascination with:

The Body
Bone Structure**** Muscle Structure**** Skin Tension*** Veins*** The Mind & Emotions
Jealousy*** Scorn** Spite*** Anger** Envy** Pride*** Faux Pride*** Confusion**** Hurt/Pain*** Mental vrs Physical**** Awareness** ____________ _______________
THINGS I DON'T LIKE
Liars [ Liars are a big one ] : Cheaters : Fakers [ the usual ] : Standing Still : Shopping : "Shit on my Lens" : Two-Faced People : Being Tired : How I Always "Run" : My Hair : The Way I Walk : Running out of Batteries : Never Having Enough Time : Having Too Much Free Time : Food Particles : The Smell of "Body Parts" Cooking : My Randomness : How there arent enough hours in the Day : That I Can't Just Be "Normal" : That I want to Be "Normal" : Not Working Enough : Feeling Lazy : Making Excuses : The "Female Cliché"

My Mother.
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RANDOM THINGS

    I have sporadic battles with Insomnia I can be extremely random at times When I was younger, I was a major Girly Girl – Now a rather funny thought I don't like being a girl... at all I’m half Filipino – half Caucasian I Do Not Date " Goths " I date People . So Do Not think I Limit Myself Im EXTREMELY shy, until I get to know you
    I can’t cook anything, but " a disaster " On average I drink 13+ 16.9 fl oz bottles of water & Chew at least 4 packs of gum a day
    It takes a lot to make me jealous I have pretty Low Self Esteem I have a tendency to ramble - and I hate it =/ I have a major Addiction to Showering I do not and will not try to impress anyone - if you dont like me for who I am that's your choice I am Extremely Stubborn I will only change myself for someone when I know their point is best for me I'm extremely indecisive
    I prefer talking on the Phone over Reading Text on a Screen I laugh uncontrollably when I’m Tired I like cuddling and being read to - as corny as that sounds
    I'll probably be one of the biggest dorks you'll ever meet Im probably not what you would expect I usually dont do well in a relationship [Im afraid of commitment and hurting someone]
    I had been home schooled from the 3 rd Grade until the end my high school years Before that I attended a Local Catholic School I say "Anyway" way too much
    I have Minor Trypophobia I have Major Hedonophobia I am a Automysophobe I am a Kenophobe I’ll always consider Silver Spring, MD more of a “home” to me than anywhere I HATE getting my picture taken, despite what my Myspace Page may lead you to believe, however the money is nice enough to “ learn to deal " I used to spend 7+ hours a night, on average, on the phone with the guy that I love and always will I hate having free time
    I have had 25 body piercings in my life, many of which are now retired I No Longer Wear Falls and I dont think I ever will again Dread extensions are 10,000xEasier I dont have a Drivers License and I doubt I'll be getting one anytime soon I almost always have candles burning in my bedroom when I’m home I like giving back rubs I have a huge fascination with body structure
    I find it very hard to hate someone
    Its very rare I hold a grudge I love the smell of Sweaty Dude Pits , No lie, I know its f’ed up
    I tend to act less intelligent than I really am about a situation, in order to “get what I want out of it” [Mike “Twitch” helped me learn and realize this] I “mess with people”, a lot and I think it’s pretty amusing to see a person think they are messing with you, when reality is your playing into what they want you to, just so you can laugh to yourself about how easily "played" that was when they walk away I hate “film” & the smell of onions I hate walking down stairs and seeing a random animal heart on a glass plate, which happens more than I’d really like to admit I am a vegetarian I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers My mother irritates me more than anyone else I have ever encountered in my life
    When I talk about myself I tend to use “ third person ” a lot When I write about myself I tend to use “ second person ” a lot [ note: I'm quite aware my profile does not follow this]
    I respect my Father Greatly, however I don’t tend to “ show ” him Above all I stay true to myself, before anyone else The Guys that I owe major thanks to of the Past Include:
    Asher Snyder Bobby Stegall Travis Marcavage Mike “Twitch" My Father
:DISCLAIMER:
In this profile I have covered
.Every possible “interesting” thing about myself.
...and In that statement lies a point…
Not the point that is “ read ”
but rather the point that was “written”
PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT IT

I'd like to meet:

meetblack
I Like to Believe Myself to Be:

.a Realist
.a Dreamer
.a Hater [ holding a Need to Care ]
.a Lover [ holding a Need To Fight ]
.a Perfectionist [ That Doesn't Care ]
.a Loner [ Who Likes "People" ]
.a Lazy Workaholic
.a Clichéd Individual
.a Total Contradiction

People . Yes, People in General Sounds Nice

If You Like My Profile
[Feel Free To Friend Me]

[ n o . l i m i t s ]

[ n o . b o u n d s ]

F a l l . t o . N o . C a t e g o r y
a .S l a v e . t o . N o . S c e n e

R A C H E L . C Y B O T I K A T M

[ c o n s t a n t . c h a n g e ]
N E V E R . S T O P

Movies:



Heroes:


A.noN.yM.ouS. [Asher Snyder] Forever...

My Blog

Gaiter Corset

A few people had asked me to repost the photos of the Corset I had made from the Military GaitersSo I figured Id instead of putting them on my photo page I'd just post them hereThe Photos are Fai...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 06:19:00 PST

no one get freaked out & this is probably not worth reading

So I guess this belongs in the "Who Id like to meet" section, but that isn't where its being posted obviously.and No, I'm not trying to find love on myspace, so don't think I'm that retarded -and No, ...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 01:27:00 PST

Test

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53% Stability |||||||||||||| 60% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdepen...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:09:00 PST

Date '95

I'm standing here again my friend My tears upon our seat... Your smile still lingers here in these grounds where we used to be... I can still see you happy... Weren't those the days? Back when things...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 05:16:00 PST

Silence in Respect [Truth: It is in Fear]

 The hurdle I faced when I heard your voice...The lies that allowed me to breathe... The lies that take my breath away...That hold my soul with ever word remembered...Back when I thought there wa...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 02:21:00 PST

Little Girl of No Control

Little girl tugging at your shirt... Begging for your attention... Locked in her dreamed up cage... She knows there's no escape from... Unfair orders habitually dictate her next move... And she h...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:42:00 PST

Here's to the night, Goodbye Moon.

Dearest Latte - How long have I asked you to let go?  To move on and live for yourself?  To worry about yourself and live your life for you and only you alone.  You didn't need to hold...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 01:08:00 PST

Picture from my Trip [Not many =/]

So after a pretty decent Ride home with Tyler and Paul[!THANK YOU GUYS!]I am now officially back in hell, hopefully not for long.- I didnt get my Bubble Tea- Jon is Pissed with Me, I think- I didnt sp...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:03:00 PST

Trip Update

Pessimistic List 1) Jim's sick = FEEL BETTER! 2) My Aunt keeps eating toast and roasting marshmallows and it smells Eww3) Paul isnt here 4) Its raining so I cant play outside with Jeanette 5) I miss...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:36:00 PST

You havent' earned it - You don't deserve it

Assemblage 23 - You haven't earned it[LYRICS]You crave attention As if it's due to you You want permission To behave as badly as you do You want respect, but You don't act respectable You want fame t...
Posted by Rachel Cybotika on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 12:11:00 PST