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www.DysfunctionalMajority.com
Here are some quotes from early episodes:
DAD'S DEADChris: What makes you think he's dead?
Dave: He's been in his room for four days now.
Chris: Right and....
Dave: Without getting a beer.
....
Chris: Oh my God....How did it happen?
Dave: I don't know, but I'm not going in his room, I'll be scarred for life.
Chris: Dave, you've been living with the man since you were eight, you ARE scarred for life!
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Chris: You are such a bag of buttcracks!
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Chris: Go in there man! Fear no evil, face the darkness!
Dave: Oh please, I live with him. I face the darkness everyday!
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SEX WITH PUDDINGErin: You guys know you're not allowed in the building anymore, how'd you get passed security?
Chris: Walk in with confidence, no one bothers ya.
....
Dave: I wore a hat.
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Chris: Psh, Erin's office; inflamable, nonflamable, you've got to be a dictionary to know what burns!
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DAVE MOVES OUTChris: After that, I decided Dad would only humilate me for two more years. Three years later, I was on my own.
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Ken: "Does the perpetrator have any recognizable scars?"
Chris: Only emotional.
Ken: They don't have a box for that, I'll just check "Other".
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Chris: The only way to tell my dad your plans is to write him a note, then tie it to a brick, then throw it through a window....Of course, now dad's armed with a brick.
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THE BREAKUP Chris: All this happiness is freakin me out! One day, all my dreams will come true....then what?!
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Erin: Remember when you confessed to me that you didn't think you were smart? It wasn't a confession. It was an insight! Oh! Insight; another word you can't spell!
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TITUS INTEGRITOUS (It's a word....)
Young Christopher: Daddy, teacher said we can be anything we wanted to be.
Ken: She wasn't talking to you, son. Now go in the backyard and practice digging some holes.
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Chris: At one point, my dream was that dad would let me have a dream.
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Dave: Why are we laughing?
Chris: Because we've been up for two days and we're to that place beyond tired where everything's funny.
Erin: I got muffins.
*Laughs*
Erin: What?
Dave: Muffin....
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Chris: The bad thing about saying your dream out loud is that other people hear it and try to adjust it to fit their dream. Then your dream doesn't fit....and you walk around with your dream riding up on you.
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Chris: It's not about money, it's about....it's about that thing where money doesn't matter.
Tommy: Communism?
Dave: Poverty?
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Chris: Dave and I tried a lot of dangerous stuff when we were kids, and Tommy was always right there beside us....trying it first.
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Chris: Integritous: It's when you don't do something because you believe it's not the right thing to not do.
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Chris: My father was never one to teach me, he was one to stand back and let the scars of learning happen.
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Dave: I am not an elf!
Chris: Red hair, freckle face, pointy chin! Some curly shoes and you ARE an elf!
____Chris: Every time a car falls on me something bad happens.
We'll keep working! Send us your favorite quotes!
