Levels of obvious. |
When someone has two linear feet of hair removed, and you approach them and say, "You've had your hair cut didn't you," you are not merely stating the obvious. Nor are you Captain Obvious,...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:48:00 PST |
More notes from my childhood. |
When I was three years old, my favorite uncle had a nervous breakdown and was committed to and asylum where he was allowed to dress and act like Napoleon. Since he was m...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 07:51:00 PST |
Why I dont eat liver. |
It goes back to a childhood incident. My father's sister married an up-and-comer in the health club industry in Chicago. She was an airline stewardess until she be...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 07:41:00 PST |
This is how it starts. |
Service announcement overheard in Houston International Airport (I just can't bring myself to call it George H.W. Bush Airport- It's like naming a children's hospital after Albert Fish.): "Any in...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 12:00:00 PST |
Finally, a Stooges review. |
I realize that the album has been out for a while, it's been blogged to death, and Mike Watt's online diary of the recording sessions was "mysteriously deleted." It's ju...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Tue, 29 May 2007 02:58:00 PST |
North Point Safeway introduces new sandwich line... |
Taking a cue, perhaps, from the English school of culinary thought, the Safeway supermarket at Noth Point Center is introducing a new line of sandwiches. Those hungry fo...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Wed, 23 May 2007 05:26:00 PST |
A slight reversal of faith |
Now that God has taken Jerry Falwell from us, I think that I can start believing in Him again. If He also managed to take Rosie O'Donnell, Tom Cruise, and that cook...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Tue, 15 May 2007 01:14:00 PST |
RE: Birds of Avalon |
I'm pretty sure that the Birds of Avalon shit nuggets of pure sunshine and piss high-voltage, three phase electricity, although I have no empirical data to support this. They are unstoppable, an...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Wed, 02 May 2007 05:43:00 PST |
Big thanks to my comic support group.... |
Thanks to everyone who came out to see me tell jokes at space gallery. You made me feel well loved and that the whole thing actually was funny. You all made being humorful that much easier...
Posted by Chris Portfolio on Wed, 02 May 2007 05:41:00 PST |
