Blood Freak - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a turkey. Well, I USED to be a man until my pot-smoking girlfriend landed me a job at her father's experimental turkey farm. One of the perks was I got to eat all the free turkey I wanted...until one day I ate a tainted turkey--turning me into the BLOOD FREAK. I now seek junkies and even casual heroin users as ONLY their blood can satisfy my intense thirst.

My Interests

Blood Drinking, sawing off legs and sneaking around my girlfriend's bedroom.

I'd like to meet:

Heroin addicts, junkies, Yuppies who sniff and/or shoot up to try and advance their careers.

Music:

I don't have time for music.

Movies:

I liked the biography about me, titled BLOOD FREAK, which was released in a deluxe DVD edition by Something Weird Video. Buy it now you cheap bastard.

Television:

Hate it.

Books:

I tried reading a Tom Clancy novel once, but the blood kept dripping off my beak and ruined the pages. Good thing I didn't spring for a hardcover or I'd be really pissed. They don't pay too much over at the turkey farm.

Heroes:

The first turkey who gave his life on the first Thanksgiving---at least he managed to peck out a few pilgrim eyes before the bastards decapitated him.