-Blåir- profile picture

-Blåir-

hangin with trent and manson at my house. they say what's up (msg from Ross- OMG OMG! fuck yeah! hah

About Me


I tend to flip-flop between being overwhelmed with Science or being overwhelmed with emotion. I feel too much or I feel nothing at all. I can be quite manic and loquacious, but at times wish for only silence and solitude. I am a walking contradiction, yet I've never been more sure of my convictions. Let yourself be vulnerable, stripped off all pleasure and delight. This will push you to a deeper insight. Think. Think again.

Beautiful-Intellectual-Crazy-Adored-Unique-Sensitive-Calcula ting-Observant-Expressive- Adventurous-Intense-Passionate-Free Spirited. A Dark Soul...
Personal anguish everywhere. We cannot dodge it, and shouldn't worry that we are uniquely marked and fretted and must somehow keep even tempered, amused, and in control.

Mood is generally elevated and expansive (or, if not infrequently, paranoid and irritable); activity and energy levels are greatly increased; the need for sleep is decreased; speech is often rapid, excitable, and intrusive, and thinking is fast, moving quickly from topic to topic.
I have struggled in vain against the influence of this melancholy.
It is difficult to put it into words what I suffered... the longing that seemed to be tearing my heart out by the roots, the dreadful sense of being alone in an empty universe, the agonies that thrilled through me as if the blood were running ice-cold in my veins, the disgust with living, the impossibility of dying.

My Interests

Just being high as the world flies by...

* I ♥ Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll * 4:20 * Drawing * MuSiC iS LiFe! * Theatre * Reading * ART * Writing * Fashion * Modeling * Acting * Graphic Design * Movies * SCIENCE * Concerts * Dancing * Singing & Recording Music * Psychology * Snowboarding * Evolution * Photography * Traveling * PARTYING * There's more but it's a secret. I like to get FUCKED UP and do FUCKED UP SHIT!

I'm gonna fuck it up again... I'm gonna do another detour... Unpave my path...

Here's another speech you wish I'd swallow...
Another cue for you to fold your ears...

Another train of thought too hard to follow...

I would've warned you, but really, what's the point?
Caution could but rarely ever helps.

Don't be down when my demeanor tends to disappoint...
It's hard enough even trying to be civil to myself.


There are... two kinds of spleen; one mocking, active, passionate, malignant; the other morose and wholly passive, when one's only wish is for silence and solitude and the oblivion of sleep. For anyone possessed by this latter kind, nothing has meaning, the destruction of a world would hardly move her.At such times I could wish the earth were a shell filled with gunpowder, which I would put a match to for my diversion.

I'd like to meet:



Kate Moss, Ewan McGregor, Trent Reznor, Marilyn Manson, Quentin Tarantino, David Lynch, Fiona Apple, Oliver Stone, Marshall Mathers, Maynard James Keenan... Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain, Brandon Lee, Jim Morrison...
Free spirits, artists... musicians... people into self-expression... PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL.

I'd also like to meet walking contradictions & manic-depressive gemini's... unfortunately that may be asking too much... so I will settle for those on the same evolutionary path.
I've no need for sheep. Ich habe kein Bedürfnis nach Schafen!

Music:

    TOOL Marilyn Manson Alice in Chains (met!) VnV NaTiON (met!) NIN 10 Years A Perfect Circle The Birthday Massacre Deftones Prodigy Tom Petty Pink Floyd ♥311♥ THE DOORS (R.I.P. Jim Morrison) Sublime Queens of the Stone Age Led Zeppelin Lords of Acid The Killers Pitchshifter Aphex Twin System of a Down Type O Negative (met!) Machine Head (met!) Coal Chamber Pantera Otep White Zombie Rammstein Incubus Skinny Puppy Ozzy H.I.M. Shadows Fall (met!) Disturbed Fear Factory Slipknot Smashing Pumpkins Avenged Sevenfold Chimaira (met!) Orgy Mudvayne Godsmack (met!) Linkin Park Cake Trapt Killswitch Engage Seether Blue October Hawthorne Heights (met!) Local H Audioslave Fall Out Boy (met!) Yellowcard .. 30 Seconds to Mars Hinder Bush Puddle of Mudd KoRn StAtiC-X (met!) Leatherstrip *NiRvaNa* (R.I.P. Kurt D. Cobain) Fiona Apple Garbage POE Christina Aguilera Sneaker Pimps PoRtiSheAd Tricky Ace of Base Daft Punk Orbital Paul Oakenfold Tiesto Fatboy Slim Eminem Brotha Lynch Snoop Dogg Dr. Dre Immortal Technique Jedi Mind Tricks Benefit Andre Nickatina 80's music!! INXS Morrissey Angelo Badalamenti The Cure Joy Division Depeche Mode Culture Club New Order Duran Duran Switchblade Symphony Mindless Self Indulgence (met!) London After Midnight Assemblage 23 Castlevania Wolfsheim Covenant Front Line Assembly Nightwish Razed in Black Dope Stars. Inc System Syn KMFDM Cradle of Filth Tristania Cannibal Corpse Dead Can Dance Cruxshadows Front 242 Scream Silence Bauhaus Lacuna Coil Christian Death Advent Sleep Zeraphine Kottonmouth Kings Bad Religion Green Day Atreyu Offspring AFI The Used Massive Attack The Cult The Faint L7 The Clash The White Stripes Hollywood Undead La Tour Underworld Zeromancer
    Industrial
    *New Wave
    *Goth
    *Darkwave
    *Electronica
    *Punk...etc.



Movies:


    Natural Born Killers Trainspotting House of 1000 Corpses Freeway Total Recall Se7en Frailty The Crow Resident Evil The Lost Boys American History X Silence of the Lambs Gladiator A Beautiful Mind Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas The Big Lebowski The Crush Braveheart Assassins Cruel Intentions Boogie Nights Fight Club Point Break Fargo Original Sin Half Baked Beavis & Butt-head Do America Dazed & Confused Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me Blue Velvet Eraserhead The Princess Bride Labyrinth The Neverending Story Interview with the Vampire Murder by Numbers Edward Scissorhands The Salton Sea Gone with the Wind Pulp Fiction Basic Instinct Willow Full Metal Jacket Twelve Monkeys Party Monster Dune The Fifth Element Flatliners Lord of the Flies Desperado Terminator 2 From Dusk Till Dawn Clueless Moulin Rouge Heathers Buffy the Vampire Slayer SLC Punk A Time to Kill To Die For The Mummy Reservoir Dogs The Man in the Moon American Beauty House of Wax (the original) Nightmare on Elm Street Series Hellraiser Series The Blue Dahlia Casablanca Star Wars (original 3 movies) Moulin Rouge The Boondock Saints The Doors Pink Floyd: The Wall

Television:

    Natural Born Killers House of 1000 Corpses Basic Instinct Assassins The Crush Cruel Intentions The Lost Boys American History X Boogie Nights Se7en Frailty Silence of the Lambs Fargo Original Sin The Crow Braveheart Half Baked Beavis & Butt-head Do America Dazed & Confused Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me Blue Velvet Eraserhead The Princess Bride Labyrinth The Neverending Story Interview with the Vampire Murder by Numbers Edward Scissorhands The Salton Sea Gone with the Wind Pulp Fiction Total Recall Higher Learning Full Metal Jacket Twelve Monkeys Fight Club Party Monster Dune The Fifth Element Flatliners Lord of the Flies Desperado Terminator 2 From Dusk Till Dawn Clueless Moulin Rouge Heathers Buffy the Vampire Slayer SLC Punk A Time to Kill To Die For The Mummy Reservoir Dogs The Man in the Moon American Beauty House of Wax (the original) Nightmare on Elm Street Series Hellraiser Series The Blue Dahlia Casablanca Star Wars (original 3 movies) Trainspotting Moulin Rouge The Boondock Saints A Beautiful Mind Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas Point Break The Doors Pink Floyd: The Wall Resident Evil Freeway The Prestige

Favourite Directors: Quentin Tarantino, Oliver Stone & David Lynch.
Favourite Actors: Ewan McGregor, Sean Patrick Flanery, Antonio Banderas, Edward Norton, Dennis Hopper, Keifer Sutherland, Christopher Walken, Julian McMahon, Brandon Lee, Woody Harrelson (met;), James Dean.
Favourite Actresses: Milla Jovovich, Christina Ricci, Jennifer Connelly, Uma Thurman, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Vivien Leigh.

Books:

House of Leaves, The Secret Garden, Area51, Byron: The Flawed Angel, Sigmund Freud- The World Within, Evolution- The Triumph of an Idea, An Unquiet Mind, On a Voiceless Shore, Marilyn: The Last Take, Kurt Cobain's Journals, The Kate Moss book, Adolf Hitler: From Failed Artist to Fascist Dictator, Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, The Diary of Anne Frank.
Edgar Allan Poe, Lord Byron, Robert Burns, Berlioz, William Cowper, Robert Lowell, Theodore Roethke, John Berryman, Delmore Shwartz, Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, Aldous Huxley, Poppy Z. Brite, Mark Danielewski, Nietzsche, Darwin, Stephen Hawking, Anything
by H.P. Lovecraft. Old Poetry Books. Art.

Heroes:



My Blog

TV-Movies-Music Videos-Commercials Ive been in (I will update periodically). Watch for me!

http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=23268737TV SHOWS:The OC - (Ben McKenzie, Rachel Bilson, Peter Gallagher, Autumn Reeser)   * Newport Harbor GirlEpisode - The Metamorphasis - Original Air ...
Posted by -Blåir- on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 10:19:00 PST

My soul mate wrote this for me...

My fucking mindsetMy eternal distortionMy mask slippingMy eyes openMy never ending surpriseMy pure lust eternal finally rewarded againShe showers me with her adorationShe terrifies me with her willin...
Posted by -Blåir- on Mon, 02 Jun 2008 12:27:00 PST

Alone in the Unknown

Sometimes my mind shifts so much.then suddenly I stop and come back to reality...Somewhat.        And I recall the strange faces and the conversationsand situationst...
Posted by -Blåir- on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:18:00 PST

Medicated Thoughts

It seems like this must be the answer.To everything.Now I can relax enough to...take the edge off to...break the walls down to...Explore myself.   Remember who I really am. This is me in th...
Posted by -Blåir- on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:10:00 PST

Memories of emotional experiences imprinted in reactions of synapses.

So... I have done some quite extensive research lately. I am truly pleased with what I have discovered. The key, to no longer live with anxiety. I am not too proud to admit the fear... it has basicall...
Posted by -Blåir- on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 12:41:00 PST

PRIVATE blog is now public. READ IT. You know you want to.

Have you ever been so completely wrong about somebody? This certain someone. Always just a friend.  Never put much thought into it. Then lately... something changed. It just happened... out of ...
Posted by -Blåir- on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 04:06:00 PST

Random things you probably don't know about me...

I was born in Santa Monica, but I've lived all over the US.I grew up in the theatre.My childhood memories are of this: A wooden mansion on 50 acres of land in Duluth, Minnesota. We lived on...
Posted by -Blåir- on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 02:05:00 PST

Fever Dragon's Latest Bash

  Last photo by Brian This was a kick ass night!!!!!!!!!  ...
Posted by -Blåir- on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:42:00 PST

A Cold Silence

Suddenly it's hard to breathe. Emptiness fills the void of a lost love Something once was beauty replaced by the melancholy and uncertainty of darkness Pain is a reflection which was cast upon the sh...
Posted by -Blåir- on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 11:36:00 PST

the Shortest Flame

through the darkness into the light the shortest flame grew bright a beautiful gleam of fire burning with mad desire as quickly as it started it's magic has departed a memory frozen in time portrayed ...
Posted by -Blåir- on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 04:09:00 PST