Davey J - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The name is Dave, pleased to meet ya. My favorite word is Fuck. Love it. I'm 26 years old. Birthday is in July, I wear extra large shirts if you're curious. Born and raised in good old Columbia Heights, Minnesota. I now live in Little Canada. I have a nice sized bachelor pad. I'm a bill collector. Someday I would like to run my very own collection agency. Its nice to have goals. I wouldnt want to put all my eggs in the same basket and then blow my load, so I always gotta have a backup plan. I figure either a professional Roshambo player (That's paper rock scissors for all you laymen) or a street mime. We'll see what happens. Now Fuck Off!!

My Interests

Sleep when I can get it. Anything Funny. Like to laugh. Laughing is good for the soul. And it puts hair on your chest.

I'd like to meet:

The guy who invented velcro. George Carlin. Red Green. John Stewart. That bastard that always pisses on the floor at work so I can piss on his shoes and then fuckin laugh about it after.

Music:

I listen to it all. Except Nickelback. If I had it my way, I'd cut out Chad's tongue and slap him with it until he died.... So yea, I kinda don't like Nickelback. But everything else is money.

Movies:

Juno. The Departed. Dumbo. Usual Suspects. Thank You For Smoking. Poolhall Junkies. The Aristocrats, Farce of the Penguins (Bob Saget is the fucking man) 300!!!!!

Television:

MXC- Don't Get Eliminated! Best show of all time, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, its a classic. Entourage, Cops, SportsCenter, Fraggle Rock, Animaniacs, America's Funniest Home Videos. Or AFV if your nasty. Gee, I really don't watch alot of TV either. I just know what I like I guess.

Books:

I highly recommend the Shroud of the Thwacker by Chris Elliott. The Prey novels by John Sandford. Encyclopedia Q-R. All of George Carlin's books. Get Fuzzy. Pearls Before Swine. Just finished up Invisible Prey, the newest John Sandford book. Word

Heroes:

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? See the one about lions? Got this lion. He's the king of the jungle. Huge mane, out to here. He's laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big. He's so hot. He doesn't want to move. The little lion cubs, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him... coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now, the other animals notice this... and they start to move in, the jackals. Hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes and eat the food that's in his domain They do this... then they get closer and bolder, till one day... that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody... runs like the wind, eats everything in his path 'Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals... who he is It's too late to be scared. It's time to kill. -Christopher Walken in Poolhall Junkies

My Blog

Wow

Holy Shit! Holy Fuckin Shit!! It has now been a year since I’ve moved into this bad ass bachelor pad. It is now time to reflect if you will. Its been a little bit since my last blog. Seems my My...
Posted by Davey J on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:47:00 PST

Get Fuzzy!!!! Word

I just can't get enough of Get Fuzzy. It's like an addictioin for me now. I am in need of an intervention guys. First step is admitting I have a problem right? So here we go.&n...
Posted by Davey J on Sat, 12 Jan 2008 09:43:00 PST

Irregardless is not a word Ma’am....

I love my job. I have the GREATEST conversations with backasswards people. My favorite people are the ones that always use big words to try and sound smart and just end up fucking the word...
Posted by Davey J on Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:47:00 PST

Something new....

This has never EVER before been posted in a blog..... The blind man sat uncomfortably on a stack of ear lobes. Fifty-seven, twenty-five, thirteen. My mice haven't seen the future.&n...
Posted by Davey J on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:04:00 PST

Get Fuzzy Pt. 2

We see Satchel holding a glass and Rob behind him with an inquisitive look upon his face.... Rob: "What on Earth are you doing? Satchel: "I saw it on TV! Spirits can tell you things by moving this thi...
Posted by Davey J on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:48:00 PST

Get Fuzzy!

So Rob is checking out something on his laptop and say, " Man my Fantasy Team blows. I'm getting beaten by a team called the Buttercups." Satchel is peaking over the desk. "Fantasy Team?"&...
Posted by Davey J on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:28:00 PST

Yes Regis, that is my final answer....

Ladies and Gentlemen- I have returned! Its been a little while since my last blog posting. I love that word by the way- Blog. I've had alot of shit go down over the last few weeks.&n...
Posted by Davey J on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:18:00 PST

The Light Was Orange Officer.....

Fuck me. So I got pulled over today.... First time I've been pulled over since the year I ruined Thanksgiving. The cop said I ran a red light. Fuck him! I think he is color blind...
Posted by Davey J on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:50:00 PST

Karfmugglebear???!?!?!?? Wha What?

So I'm chillin in my apartment, watching nothing on tv, picking my ass. This kid strolls up to my sliding door and he/she/it mumbles something. Sounded just like karfmugglebear. It s...
Posted by Davey J on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 11:46:00 PST

Ramona Lundholm. Grandma

So I just got done with that last blog and I touched on my grandma passing. Thought I'd expand on that a bit.... She died last July in 2006. Unexpectedly. Without warning and without...
Posted by Davey J on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 05:05:00 PST