...clasping at my ninth low-fat frappucino with my knickers round my ankles and debating what colour to dye my hair next… Oh filage where the fook did I put my i-pod, my Gucci sunglasses, my laptop, my sobriety? Like my jacket? It’s Primani, darling. Like my necklace? Five finger discount. Down to earth, down t’disco, a whirl of an asymmetric haircut and dirty laugh on the dancefloor.
As health-conscious as I am bonkers, there’s more northerness in me than Girls Aloud all bent over at a gangbang in Jimmy Saville’s bedroom.
‘Int it?
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