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Kels

You can either see the sadness that exists all around us, or you can put it out there

About Me


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SoOoOoOo... when I was little I used to think that being older made everyhing better. I used to think that just getting away would change all the bad things that happen in life. Well, Now I'm older and I've gotten away...and everything is still the same. Bad stuff still happens. I guess you can't make something that's happened unhappen. I used to think if something real bad happened to me then I could use it as my escape... wrong again. SoOoOo this is me now.... You can either see the sadness that exists all around us or you can put it out there... I keep most of it in but I see it. I see all of it. Bad things happen at some point in time to everyone but like they say life is more then the sum of its parts... So when things seem to be going downhill remember you'll live through it. I tend to keep alot of what i feel inside. If I'm really upset most likely I won't tell you...regardless of how many times you ask. I especially keep in feelings that will hurt other people...even if I know keeping it in is hurting me more. I have many regrets in my life but no more then anyone else... If I could I wouldn't have missed out on so much.... I would have gone to my senior prom and the winterball... I would have hung out with real friends a little more... I would have chosen a better group of friends but no worries guys because if I'm still talking to you then you're obviously cool with me.... I wouldn't have worried myself with the things I didn't need to at such a young age and would have tryed to have more of a childhood instead of always trying to please everyone else and act like the mature one. I wouldn't care as much about what people think.... I would have tryed to do things differently no need for elaboration. I love being active and the outdoors... playing sports fly well with me but I'm not your typical tomboy... Im still a girly girl and yeh shopping is a good time... sorry if thats dissapointing. I also like to write... esp poetry its one way to get your feelings out and ppl don't know if your writing about youself or someone else so they only have to sit back and wonder.... I like all things tied in with law....I smile alot... in fact Im always smiling, but that doesn't mean My expression on my face is always describing the expression written on my heart and mind. Im to nice and somewhat of a good girl but I do have my wild side... I like to party once in a while vodkas my flava of choice.... So you're probably reading this thinking you know me.... but you don't. No one does because other peoples happiness is worth my unhappiness... so I hold alot in but doesn't mean you can't get to know me... I am a very complex person though, however very easy to get along with. Just saying that I am kind of complicated sorry.aim name is EyesOfHerDespair
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Kelsey B
Birthday: July 17th 1987
Birthplace: Sayre, Pa
Current Location: T-town and Near Scranton
Eye Color: Hazel, but my eyes change with mood
Hair Color: Dirty Blonde, with natural highlights... when up looks like a very light brown.
Height: 5 Ft. 7 in.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty baby
Your Heritage: Mostly German and Irish, but Dutch, Welsch, and Scottish.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Puma's
Your Weakness: I care a little to much... and over analyze everything.
Your Fears: Not making a difference in the world.
Your Perfect Pizza: Ham and Pinapple.... hawaiian.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Go to a better school
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: What am I going to do today?
Your Best Physical Feature: My eyes, I think...
Your Bedtime: Whenever I fall asleep
Your Most Missed Memory: When I was two and didn't know any better.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke-A-Cola
MacDonalds or Burger King: The King
Single or Group Dates: Single for romance... Group for fun loving.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Capp
Do you Smoke: Just ask me?
Do you Swear: Sometimes... never around children.
Do you Sing: Only when I am in an amazing mood.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes.... that's just gross.
Have you Been in Love: Not sure.
Do you want to go to College: In College... but want to be somewhere else.
Do you want to get Married: Yes, but only if he promises its forever.
Do you belive in yourself: Not like I should
Do you get Motion Sickness: Nope
Do you think you are Attractive: More so Then I let myself believe.
Are you a Health Freak: Not really
Do you get along with your Parents: My father... I don't talk to enough to decide... and My Mom she's the best... but we do argue alot.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Rain I love, Thunder I dislike, but it's all good!
Do you play an Instrument: Nope, but want to learn to play the drums, show me?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I plead the fifth
In the past month have you Smoked: ehhh... yeh :(
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
In the past month have you gone on a Date: idk
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yeh
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No Way...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yeh, who hasn't... like wtf? Just teasing
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yeh, but not for anything special.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No... want to go?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No, well yeh.... haha my brothers dvd.
Ever been Drunk: Yeh...
Ever been called a Tease: Yes, am I ... idk
Ever been Beaten up: Nope... and fighting usually doesn't solve anything.
Ever Shoplifted: No
How do you want to Die: By benifiting the life of another.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I want to be so much... so just ask this one.
What country would you most like to Visit: Zambia, because I want to see Victoria Falls.. or maybe some tropical Island.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: It's not about the color... its what they have to say. You can tell
Favourite Hair Color: No fav's
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Taller then me... but it doesn't define a person either.
Weight: Whatever weight that they look good at and what they are cormfortable at.
Best Clothing Style: OMG!!! Whatever they like and look good in.
Number of Drugs I have taken:
Number of CDs I own: Not sure
Number of Piercings: Two
Number of Tattoos: Doesn't matter
Number of things in my Past I Regret: You shouldn't regret anything... because at some point its what you wanted.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!./div

My Interests

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I love being outdoors and just being active, enjoy all sports but absolute favs are Tennis, Soccer, Raquetball, and B-ball you know all the good ones. Recently got back into exercising and going to the gym, need all the training I can get to become a police baby!!! I love the beach, waves crashing at your knees, sand between your toes, the sunset and sunrise, stars, camping, cooking, shopping, parties w/ kick ass ppl, I like trampolines, playgrounds, and all those silly things, =) lol ... Love skating, bowling, pretty much just having a good time.... I ? to cuddle and kiss...and this is where I'm just going to leave you hanging... just ask me.

I'd like to meet:

Your Eyes Should Be Gray
Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive

What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul What Color Should Your Eyes Be?Being happy and having a family with children included is one of my biggest desires. I want to meet someone who I can see my world in his eyes... I want to give my children the world. I want them to be able to experience everything. I want them to learn from their own mistakes as well as lessons from their father and me. Finding a good father for them means alot to me seeings I hadn't had the best father. I want them to be able to experience waves crashing up on their knees in july, and a snowflake fall untop of the tip of their tounge in january, I want them to know what its like to have a thousand leaves thrown in the air only to come flying back down upon them in the fall, or to pick fruit in the spring. I want them to see skyliners at some point in their life, only to be introduced to the country at another point. I want them to know what it feels like to be on the top of a mountain looking down on a world that once felt so big and now so small. I want my kids to know what it feels like to come home with a perfect report card as well as how its okay to ask for help when they don't quite understand something. I want them to experience making the thousands of christmas cookies at that time of year.... as well as the many picnics around the fourth of july. I want them to know what its like to go on an easter egg hunt as well as spring cleaning. I want them to experience the world. I would say I want them to make no mistakes and never disapoint me, but that would only tell me that they aren't really living life. They need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. I want to be dissapointed at some point... because it will only mean more.... when they make me and their father proud. I want them to know what it feels like playing catch in the backyard with their daddy.... as well as what it feels like running in for a bandaide for every scraped knee....I want to meet the "One"... if he does exist. I want to meet someone who wants to share this dream with me. Someone who wants it all.
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My Favorite Stalkers
My Stalkers = ? friends

My Absolute Fav. New Yorker

La La Lehigh

Kar Bear

*Bonda...Kendra Bonda*

That Soldier Boi =)

My Best Makeout Partner.. J/P.. Stay Safe.. Stay Strong. Private ;)

Freshie Fresh

Italian Stallion.. PhillaBong

My Chris-Py Treat

Chuckles ;)

Mel Frank... Hamburgs 3 a.m. fucka's

That Brother of Mine..ahhhhh!!!!

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Music:

a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.indi vidual&videoid=1357684571"Buckcherry Crazy Bitch (NEW)

Add to My Profile | More VideosSo most people say everything.... but I mean it. My likes and dislikes are so random..... I love anything from punk-rock to country. Just ask. I dont really like Screamo, death metal, or classical. To name a few I recently got into matchbook romance...I also like The Ramones, Lonestar, J-kwon, DMX, Deftones, Green Day, Kacie Chambers, Three Doors Down, My Chemical Romance, Bryan Adams,Goo Goo Dolls, The Frey, Breaking Ben, Daugherty, You know all the good stuff!!!

Movies:

width="425" height="350" ..*Life as A House* MUST SEE MOVIE, BLue Car, United States of Leland, Crash, Indecent Seduction, American History X, Assualt on Precinct 13, Swat, Coach Carter, Thicker then Blood, Schindlers List, A History of Violence, Constantine, Wimbledon, Bend it like Beckham, Maid in Manhatten, Serendipity, One Fine Day, Regarding Henry, The Interpreter, A History of Violence, Running Scared... width="425" height="350" ..

Television:

Law and Order, SVU, Close to Home, CSI, Miami, Judging Amy, CSI, Medium, Cops, Missing, Fuze.

Books:

The Pact, A perversion of Justice, No Stone Unturned, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, To Kill a Mockingbird, Leo the lop - fav kids book, The Cay, Mutation, My Name is Stephen, And all the other law books I read

Heroes:

I Got Soul

Add to My Profile | More VideosMy Mother... is my number one hero. She has been there for both my brothers and I, in every aspect. When our father didn't show us he was proud or that he loved us... she reminded us she was proud everyday and her love for us is neverending. When my father was never there... my mother was just around the corner..When our father told us we weren't good enough. She told us we were. When we hated our father she reminded us... that' he loved us the only way he knew how. She's always been there... and I love her. She's my best friend.My Bradford friends- Leah... She has always been there for me.. and remains strong always. Amanda- My longest remaining friend... for straightening your life out... that makes you my hero... most people can't go from where you were to here... and ready to raise a baby boy. James- Because you were always there when I need a shoulder and someone to talk to... your the one of the few friends I could spend all night just talking to. Phil- You always made me giggle... and always true to your word. Mel-for standing up for what you believe... after so long standing in the dark. Josh- for finally having the courage to be yourself.My KC PEEPs- Kari... for being youself...not giving a sh$t what ppl think because you know you're BEAUTIFUL and I admire that so much. Lehigh... For always being there to talk to... and always remaining kind. Kendra...because your the coolest..craziest.. gurl I kno. Dougie Fresh- because he is just himself... and I love that. The Boy... he taught me so much...Children who grow up to be something... when they came from nothing. It's hard to come from broken homes and be forced with the right or wrong decision each and everyday... and make the right choice. Children aren't asked to be born... they just are... so give them good life and don't be so self centered.

My Blog

Things To Wonder About.. Vol One

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?Saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be af...
Posted by Kels on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 11:40:00 PST