hello, everyone, i'm JLo's ass. okay, let's see, what's new...well, folks, it finally happened. she's been taking care of me again. don't get me wrong, i still think she's a maniac and a biatch (see, that's how i have to talk these days), but she's no longer going by "J-Lo" and now she's got music that moves a little better, so the workouts are INTENSE! but i feel all nice and firm, and a little more stretched out than usual. you know what the best part is? she loves attention now that she's got a new movie, so marc antony's little catholic peepee is not doing the trick. you know, he doesn't like the butt sex (he's probably used to receiving than giving), but she finally admitted it...she loves it just as much as i do! now we're doing video shoots, and the guys take turns giving me a once-over. i've already said too much, i think that's enough.
By the way, "El Cantante" was a WASTE of my time. Screw my man's drug addiction, what about his ASS ADDICTION! does it have to be THAT true to life?? couldn't they just write in an anal sex fetish? bastards.
one more thing, though. BOYS. . . i'm J-LO's ASS. JENNIFER LOPEZ'S ASS. stop sending me messages asking for my number or giving me your life stories or asking for a "face to go with the ass." frikkin pansies. you should try e-harmony. or gay.com. ooh...maybe i should go to gay.com. those gay boys know how to party!
