JOHANNES! profile picture

JOHANNES!

Swim like you're on fire, drink like it's water!

About Me


WORDS TO LIVE BY!
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... you tell me what you know.
If I'm not back tomorrow, send for the police. If they're not back tomorrow, send my clothes.
This is where one of my pics came from. I just got crafty with it.
Name: Scott..type='hidden' name='question1' value='Name%3A'..type='hidden' name='type1' value='1'
Birthdate: December 1st, 19*coughcoughcough*..type='hidden' name='question2' value='Birthdate%3A'..type='hidden' name='type2' value='1'
Birthplace: Earth..type='hidden' name='question3' value='Birthplace%3A'..type='hidden' name='type3' value='1'
Current Location: Still on Earth, where are you?..type='hidden' name='question4' value='Current+Location%3A'..type='hidden' name='type4' value='1'
Eye Color: Blue (red in pictures and in the morning)..type='hidden' name='question5' value='Eye+Color%3A'..type='hidden' name='type5' value='1'
Hair Color: Dark blonde-ish..type='hidden' name='question6' value='Hair+Color%3A'..type='hidden' name='type6' value='1'
Height: A very macho 6'3", thank you very much..type='hidden' name='question7' value='Height%3A'..type='hidden' name='type7' value='1'
Weight: Not sure lately, around 210lbs (or 15 stone)..type='hidden' name='question8' value='Weight%3A'..type='hidden' name='type8' value='1'
Piercings: Used to have my left ear pierced when I was about 16..type='hidden' name='question9' value='Piercings%3A'..type='hidden' name='type9' value='1'
Tatoos: Yes..type='hidden' name='question10' value='Tatoos%3A'..type='hidden' name='type10' value='1'
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No, I'm currently "playing the field", just haven't learned the rules of the game..type='hidden' name='question11' value='Boyfriend%2FGirlfriend%3A'..type='hidden' name='type11' value='1'
Overused Phraze: Mine? "On like Donkey Kong" or "Good times!" And who spells PHRASE that way?..type='hidden' name='question12' value='Overused+Phraze%3A'..type='hidden' name='type12' value='1'
FAVORITES..type='hidden' name='question13' value='FAVORITES'..type='hidden' name='type13' value='2'
Food: Yes (I like a good steak)..type='hidden' name='question14' value='Food%3A'..type='hidden' name='type14' value='1'
Candy: Yes (Baklava with ice cream, cake, whatever)..type='hidden' name='question15' value='Candy%3A'..type='hidden' name='type15' value='1'
Number: No, though any positive number of dinero in my wallet is a favorite for me..type='hidden' name='question16' value='Number%3A'..type='hidden' name='type16' value='1'
Color: I like gray. And blue. And black, though technically that isn't a color..type='hidden' name='question17' value='Color%3A'..type='hidden' name='type17' value='1'
Animal: I won't play favorites, I like all animals..type='hidden' name='question18' value='Animal%3A'..type='hidden' name='type18' value='1'
Drink: Shh... I still like red Kool-Aid (OH YEAH!)..type='hidden' name='question19' value='Drink%3A'..type='hidden' name='type19' value='1'
Alcohol Drink: Miller Lite or a good tequila sunrise..type='hidden' name='question20' value='Alcohol+Drink%3A'..type='hidden' name='type20' value='1'
Bagel: No favorite. Though I had a raisin one this morning..type='hidden' name='question21' value='Bagel%3A'..type='hidden' name='type21' value='1'
Letter: The one I got from my first girlfriend telling me she wanted to do wild things to me in the... wait... like ALPHABET? Who has a favorite one of those?..type='hidden' name='question22' value='Letter%3A'..type='hidden' name='type22' value='1'
Body Part on Opposite sex: Anything external or partially internal. I am not a "specifics" kind of guy, I like everything about a woman. The differences in each make them all special. Aww...type='hidden' name='question23' value='Body+Part+on+Opposite+sex%3A'..type='hidden' name='type23' value='1'
This or That..type='hidden' name='question24' value='This+or+That'..type='hidden' name='type24' value='2'
Pepsi or Coke: Neither, I'm trying to quit..type='hidden' name='question25' value='Pepsi+or+Coke%3A'..type='hidden' name='type25' value='1'
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Burger King... flame broiled just sounds healthier..type='hidden' name='question26' value='McDonalds+or+BurgerKing%3A'..type='hidden' name='type26' value='1'
Strawberry or Watermelon: Racial prejudices aside, I like strawberries..type='hidden' name='question27' value='Strawberry+or+Watermelon%3A'..type='hidden' name='type27' value='1'
Hot tea or Ice tea: Both. Just not together..type='hidden' name='question28' value='Hot+tea+or+Ice+tea%3A'..type='hidden' name='type28' value='1'
Chocolate or Vanilla Either, or both with hot fudge..type='hidden' name='question29' value='Chocolate+or+Vanilla'..type='hidden' name='type29' value='1'
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Either, again, are you getting the feeling I'm easy to please? Good...type='hidden' name='question30' value='Hot+Chocolate+or+Coffee%3A'..type='hidden' name='type30' value='1'
Kiss or Hug: I want them both. Sue me...type='hidden' name='question31' value='Kiss+or+Hug%3A'..type='hidden' name='type31' value='1'
Dog or Cat: Either... next!..type='hidden' name='question32' value='Dog+or+Cat%3A'..type='hidden' name='type32' value='1'
Rap or Punk: Hard question... I like both. I couldn't choose...type='hidden' name='question33' value='Rap+or+Punk%3A'..type='hidden' name='type33' value='1'
Summer or Winter: GAH!!! I like both, get it?!..type='hidden' name='question34' value='Summer+or+Winter%3A'..type='hidden' name='type34' value='1'
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: I'm not going there anymore. I'm done with this or that...type='hidden' name='question35' value='Scary+Movies+or+Funny+Movies%3A'..type='hidden' name='type35' value='1'
Love or Money: Sometimes you can't have one without the other. Do you mean TRUE love? I'd take that and be broke any day of the year. Of course, then she'd leave me for a rich guy... just my luck..type='hidden' name='question36' value='Love+or+Money%3A'..type='hidden' name='type36' value='1'
YOUR.....type='hidden' name='question37' value='YOUR...'..type='hidden' name='type37' value='2'
Bedtime: Whenever I rest my weary li'l head..type='hidden' name='question38' value='Bedtime%3A'..type='hidden' name='type38' value='1'
Most Missed Memory: If it's a memory, is it really missed? Anything with my grampa. He was my hero...type='hidden' name='question39' value='Most+Missed+Memory%3A'..type='hidden' name='type39' value='1'
Best phyiscal feature: You misspelled PHYSICAL. I don't know, people seem to like my eyes and my hair. I've gotten other compliments, but I won't dwell on it...type='hidden' name='question40' value='Best+phyiscal+feature%3A'..type='hidden' name='type40' value='1'
First Thought Waking Up: "AM I LATE FOR A MEETING?" And "Who's that girl?" Okay, I made the last one up...type='hidden' name='question41' value='First+Thought+Waking+Up%3A'..type='hidden' name='type41' value='1'
Goal for this year: To survive it..type='hidden' name='question42' value='Goal+for+this+year%3A'..type='hidden' name='type42' value='1'
Best Friends: Too many to mention. Look at my "friends list". They count...type='hidden' name='question43' value='Best+Friends%3A'..type='hidden' name='type43' value='1'
Weakness: Love. And a good MLT.....type='hidden' name='question44' value='Weakness%3A'..type='hidden' name='type44' value='1'
Fears: Love. And a spoiled MLT.....type='hidden' name='question45' value='Fears%3A'..type='hidden' name='type45' value='1'
Heritage: German, English, Cherokee, Welsh..type='hidden' name='question46' value='Heritage%3A'..type='hidden' name='type46' value='1'
Longest relationship: Friends? 20+years. Women? About 4 years...type='hidden' name='question47' value='Longest+relationship%3A'..type='hidden' name='type47' value='1'
HAVE YOU.....type='hidden' name='question48' value='HAVE+YOU...'..type='hidden' name='type48' value='2'
Ever Drank: LOL!!..type='hidden' name='question49' value='Ever+Drank%3A'..type='hidden' name='type49' value='1'
Ever Smoked: Yes, but not anymore..type='hidden' name='question50' value='Ever+Smoked%3A'..type='hidden' name='type50' value='1'
Pot: In high school, not anymore..type='hidden' name='question51' value='Pot%3A'..type='hidden' name='type51' value='1'
Ever been Drunk: LOL!!..type='hidden' name='question52' value='Ever+been+Drunk%3A'..type='hidden' name='type52' value='1'
Ever been beaten up: Once or twice..type='hidden' name='question53' value='Ever+been+beaten+up%3A'..type='hidden' name='type53' value='1'
Ever beaten someone up: More than I've been beaten, yes..type='hidden' name='question54' value='Ever+beaten+someone+up%3A'..type='hidden' name='type54' value='1'
Ever Shoplifted: Yes..type='hidden' name='question55' value='Ever+Shoplifted%3A'..type='hidden' name='type55' value='1'
Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes..type='hidden' name='question56' value='Ever+Skinny+Dipped%3A'..type='hidden' name='type56' value='1'
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: God I hope so..type='hidden' name='question57' value='Ever+Kissed+Opposite+sex%3A'..type='hidden' name='type57' value='1'
Been Dumped Lately: No..type='hidden' name='question58' value='Been+Dumped+Lately%3A'..type='hidden' name='type58' value='1'
IN A GUY/GIRL..type='hidden' name='question59' value='IN+A+GUY%2FGIRL'..type='hidden' name='type59' value='2'
Favorite Eye Color: Remember when I said I like all sorts of things?..type='hidden' name='question60' value='Favorite+Eye+Color%3A'..type='hidden' name='type60' value='1'
Favorite Hair Color: N/A..type='hidden' name='question61' value='Favorite+Hair+Color%3A'..type='hidden' name='type61' value='1'
Short or Long: N/A, though I guess I like something to grab on... nevermind..type='hidden' name='question62' value='Short+or+Long%3A'..type='hidden' name='type62' value='1'
Height: N/A..type='hidden' name='question63' value='Height%3A'..type='hidden' name='type63' value='1'
Style: I don't understand the question. Yes, I'd like her to have style of some sort...type='hidden' name='question64' value='Style%3A'..type='hidden' name='type64' value='1'
Looks or Personality: Both, though I won't date a girl just for her looks. I'm more into the mental/connection...type='hidden' name='question65' value='Looks+or+Personality%3A'..type='hidden' name='type65' value='1'
Hot or Cute Are you f'ing kidding me?..type='hidden' name='question66' value='Hot+or+Cute'..type='hidden' name='type66' value='1'
Drugs and Alcohol: No drugs. Let's talk about the other over coctails..type='hidden' name='question68' value='Drugs+and+Alcohol%3A'..type='hidden' name='type68' value='1'
Muscular or Really Skinny: I don't want to be afraid of breaking her, but I also won't date someone who's weight I couldn't benchpress..type='hidden' name='question69' value='Muscular+or+Really+Skinny%3A'..type='hidden' name='type69' value='1'
RANDOMS..type='hidden' name='question70' value='RANDOMS'..type='hidden' name='type70' value='2'
Number of Regrets in the Past: Regrets? I've had a few.....type='hidden' name='question71' value='Number+of+Regrets+in+the+Past%3A'..type='hidden' name='type71' value='1'
What country do you want to Visit: Again? I want to go everywhere. Greece and Australia are high on the list..type='hidden' name='question72' value='What+country+do+you+want+to+Visit%3A'..type='hidden' name='type72' value='1'
How do you want to Die: In my sleep just like my grandpa, not screaming like the other people in his car. Ba dump-bump...type='hidden' name='question73' value='How+do+you+want+to+Die%3A'..type='hidden' name='type73' value='1'
Been to the Mall Lately: Not in a while. Though I do have a recessed female shopping gene..type='hidden' name='question74' value='Been+to+the+Mall+Lately%3A'..type='hidden' name='type74' value='1'
Do you like Thunderstorms: Very much so..type='hidden' name='question75' value='Do+you+like+Thunderstorms%3A'..type='hidden' name='type75' value='1'
Get along with your Parents: Not with my mom so much, but better with my father now that he's passed on..type='hidden' name='question76' value='Get+along+with+your+Parents%3A'..type='hidden' name='type76' value='1'
Health Freak: No, did you see my food list? I do want to work out more though. There's another goal for this year.....type='hidden' name='question77' value='Health+Freak%3A'..type='hidden' name='type77' value='1'
Do you think your Attractive: Hmm, I don't think I'm God's gift to women, but I think I'm a decent looking fellow..type='hidden' name='question78' value='Do+you+think+your+Attractive%3A'..type='hidden' name='type78' value='1'
Believe in Yourself: Always..type='hidden' name='question79' value='Believe+in+Yourself%3A'..type='hidden' name='type79' value='1'
Want to go to College: Not again! ..type='hidden' name='question80' value='Want+to+go+to+College%3A'..type='hidden' name='type80' value='1'
Do you Smoke: Why are you asking me this again? It hasn't changed. No...type='hidden' name='question81' value='Do+you+Smoke%3A'..type='hidden' name='type81' value='1'
Do you Drink: Yes. Sometimes more than others...type='hidden' name='question82' value='Do+you+Drink%3A'..type='hidden' name='type82' value='1'
Shower Daily: Depends on what you mean by daily? Typically, yes, have I gone a day or two "grungy"? Yes...type='hidden' name='question83' value='Shower+Daily%3A'..type='hidden' name='type83' value='1'
Been in Love: I certainly believe so..type='hidden' name='question84' value='Been+in+Love%3A'..type='hidden' name='type84' value='1'
Do you Sing: Yes. Horribly, but yes...type='hidden' name='question85' value='Do+you+Sing%3A'..type='hidden' name='type85' value='1'
Want to get Married: Only if I don't have to settle for the person I'm with. If I do it'll be with someone who's really stolen my soul. Guess I'd better get on that, huh?..type='hidden' name='question86' value='Want+to+get+Married%3A'..type='hidden&..39; name='type86' value='1'
Do you want Children: I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along..type='hidden' name='question87' value='Do+you+want+Children%3A'..type='hidden' name='type87' value='1'
Have your future kids names planned out: Read my blogs! Boy: Shecky. Girl: Abbie? I don't know, honestly...type='hidden' name='question88' value='Have+your+future+kids+names+planned+out%3A'..type='hi dden' name='type88' value='1'
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: If I've made it to 30-something and still have that hanging around my neck, you better believe I'm not telling! ..type='hidden' name='question89' value='Age+you+wanna+lose+your+Virginity%3A'..type='hidden' name='type89' value='1'
Hate anyone: Hate is such a strong word. Dislike profusely? Oh yeah...type='hidden' name='question90' value='Hate+anyone%3A'..type='hidden' name='type90' value='1'
..type='submit' value='Take This Survey'
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!I'm also:
Disorder Rating
Paranoid Disorder : Low
Schizoid Disorder : Low
Schizotypal Disorder : Moderate
Antisocial Disorder : Low
Borderline Disorder : Low
Histrionic Disorder : High
Narcissistic Disorder : Moderate
Avoidant Disorder : Low
Dependent Disorder : Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder : Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --
Yes, I'm also a Star Wars geek. Thanks Dabi!
I'm not the man I used to be.
You Are 92% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You? .. type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://link..com/m-56ae5b8d2fa18b9c34395fb75512c12b93b 745aa46c11.jpg" height="350" width="425" border="0" ..
Your Five Factor Personality Profile
Extroversion:
You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"
Conscientiousness:
You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.
Agreeableness:
You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.
Neuroticism:
You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. The Five Factor Personality Test

My Interests

Something about this intrigues me greatly.
I enjoy sheep herding, hanging out in shepherds' bars, fleece sweaters, and long walks on short piers. I live to ride and ride to get where I'm going. I can't stand comedy or anything humorous. For me, volleyball is an aphrodisiac...I like things, but not expensive ones. I shoot guns, and no guns do not kill people! Postal workers do. I don't believe in hunting, as I love me some animals, but I hate paper. I do eat meat, though, so there's the rub.Cartoons are most excellent. As are movies. I love Adult Swim (on cartoon network AND in dark water). Southpark makes me laugh, though I loathe it for it's comicalityness.My sister, my niece, and my friends are my family. THAT is for real. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Heaven would look an awful lot like this if I had anything to say about it!

I'd like to meet:

Humans, mostly, who like to have fun as well and who can make me laugh. Attractive is nice too. PS - If you're at all into drugs, stop right here and just keep steppin' (caffeine and alcohol don't count). And no, I don't want to see your web-cam. Well, maybe I do, but I'm not PAYING for it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it!

"Better than my mother is your mother, who is still alive while mine is NOT alive. But what am I saying?! Forgive me mother!" - Leonard Cohen

"If you are young, and you don't happen to be Arthur Rimbaud, we would prefer not to hear from you. And if you DO happen to be Arthur Rimbaud we DEFINITELY do not want to hear from you!" - Same

Myspace Layouts

Music:

Ask to see my CD collection. You'll find everything from A-ha, Sting, and Smokey Robinson all the way to Skinny Puppy, Leather Strip, Sisters of Mercy, and Zeromancer. Chuck in some Harry Connick Jr, Billy Holiday, and a bunch of '80s crap and you'll still have NO INKLING of how deep my musical rabbithole goes.
..Mike Ness - Social Distortion Keith Urban - You'll Think Of Me

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Movies:

Yes, please. You have to ask?
Darth Vader Being a JackAss

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Television:

Here we go again. I don't watch a lot of TV, but when I do I watch 24, Scrubs, My Name is Earl, The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Unit, and have started venturing into Grey's Anatomy (not the TV show). I also like Da Ali G show. Don't ask me why. I like the Sopranos too. I'm tired of typing.

Books:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read! I love to read. I'm a book nerd. I don't so much like sci-fi books, although I read them sometimes. Especially if you consider Douglas Adams sci-fi. I've read that book by Nabokov. I read a book by Asimov. I've read Keats, Yates, and they're on my side! I've read all the James Bond books (yes there are actually James Bond books, who knew), and military books. I love Dick Marcinko's Rogue Warrior books and enjoy having he and his family as my friends. I've perused Sun Tzu, The Koran, The Bible, and have decided to put them down and read more comedy. Pyrates, The Bourne series, Grisham, Tess Gerritsen (much better than Patricia Cornwell), Kathy Reichs, even my own... :OMy friend's son, the millionaire.

Heroes:

Most heroes are over rated, so here's a rant... Every father that goes home and spends time with his wife and kid instead of to the strip joint is a hero. Every doctor, teacher, and police officer is a hero. Every 18 year old kid who enlists to serve and protect our country in the military is a hero. Every jackazz who stands on a soapbox and says something that's not wholly politically correct is a hero. Athletes and actors... heroes not so much.

My Blog

For All My Homeys in Bruges

Well, the acquiring of my new dwelling has gone pretty flawlessly (okay, minor flaws but overall I’m happy) though the movement has been less than a treat.  First of all, I spent a cool gra...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:58:00 PST

Apparently I’m Superman

I’ve been trying to spend more time with my five year old niece lately, just becuase.  In doing so, I also tend to spend time with my sister and her husband - the Catholic.  His religi...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:56:00 PST

Drop a Deuce!

I was challenged by my friend Gus to use that phrase "whenever possible".  Consider it dropped! In the nearly immortal words of glam-rock band Europe's "The Final Countdown" - I gu...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:28:00 PST

The Horror

Okay, so if you've read any of my previous blogs you already know my morning rituals.  Usually, energy conservationist that I am, I turn off the TV before I take a running jump into the shower.&n...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:21:00 PST

So Much to Say

...is a song by Dave Matthews that I don't like as much as some of his other works.  I just had to get that off my chest. So, anyway, I finally got back onto a volleyball team after a long h...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:56:00 PST

Random Thoughts and Observations

(A tribute to Gus) Just a few little things that I've noticed lately.  Nothing to get all ass-hurt over, or anything, but some things I find interesting: - Everyday at work, whether walking to an...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 08:46:00 PST

My Day So Far

The alarm went off at 6:50 (don't judge me, monkey!), but it came back shortly after and woke me up.  Ugh.  I rolled over and the cat was there, snoring.  She stirred gradually then&nbs...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:01:00 PST

Love... Actually

is a GREAT Christmas movie for both guys AND girls.  It's both funny and romantic, has subtle twists and some tear jerking scenes...  you should watch it with someone you love, like, want to...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:58:00 PST

It’s... the Little Things

Work has been kind of crazy lately, it's approaching the holiday season and people are starting to take time off, burning vacation time like little maniacal flying monkeys, and generally the work to b...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 01:17:00 PST

J-Lo’s REAL Lyrics

Everyone knows J-Lo.  It's short for "Jel-Lo", that odd congealed sugary treat that you can soak with liquor and smuggle into parties to give to your friends kids and watch them dance around all ...
Posted by JOHANNES! on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 08:24:00 PST