Very complex
person..makulit,
kengkoy and kalog to my
friends..suplado
minsan................................................
loner......It is when you stop going along with the crowd
and
start realizing that there are a lot of things about
yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and
that, maybe, those friends that you thought you
were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people
you have ever met and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What you
do not realize is that they are realizing that too and
are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but
that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what
you thought you could be doing or maybe you are
looking for one and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the
comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with
the same people on a constant basis. But then you
realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what
you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten
stronger.
You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a
bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you
have certain boundaries in your life and add things to
your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You
are insecure and then secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your
life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly
change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life but soon realize that the past is
drifting further and further away and there is nothing to
do
but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone
you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to
get to know better. You love someone but maybe they
love someone else too and cannot figure out why
you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap
and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look
pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions
over and over and talk with your friends about the same
topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about
loans and money and the future and making a
life for yourself and while winning the race would be
great, right
now
you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not
realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We
are
in our
best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we
can to
figure this whole thing out. ........"people can be cruel, and often they are cruel to others
to hide their own inadequacies"
