The Almost Legendary Baron Von Schniffels IV profile picture

The Almost Legendary Baron Von Schniffels IV

Anyone for a spot of tea, or Crack?

About Me

And a here we go, My personality would best be described as half way between stale cheese and a rogue moustache on a motorcycle. Fast, hairy and full of dairy goodness. I'm probably the missing link between humans and monkeys but science can't decide just yet as it is far too advanced. My passions are shaving the homeless, flying round in my magnificent balloon with my concrete walrus uncle 'Stan' and cross stitch.I'm often confused for someone much cooler than I actually am and also less retarded. My power animal is the moth. I'd like to start a cult one day and maybe eat someone. By someone I mean someone that's no good, not you your different and well, I like you. Myspace Backgrounds

My Interests

Flying my Tiger Moth bi-plane into windmills and cursing God in French. Period dress if that period is early 90's, Chasing pigeons with rubber chickens as part of my experiment on who came first, me or the rubber chicken? I like the strange and the surreal also and quite often this is my motivation for standing in bank lines tattooing my palms and crying. I also really love music more than even myself and one day will make something worth listening to, even if it is only a recreation of the Waco siege.

I'd like to meet:

People with a sense of humour from anywhere on earth and maybe even beyond? fat and ugly people because they tend to have more personality than the good looking types. Cannibal Nuns (I've never met one). Ossie Ostrich. My real mum, who left me on a rock for vultures who eventually took me in and raised me into the magnificent King Vulture I now am,peck peck. Also God,Satan,Allah so I can broker a peace deal where all religious nuts get to go to their chosen location and fuck off from earth where they cause too many problems. Alesteir Crowley and Marquis De Sade so I can kick him in the balls for his enjoyment and a bit of my own.

Music:

Am a devoted Sigur Ros fan also but not exclusively I really enjoy Nick Cave, Air, Led Zep, Mr Bungle, Cymande, Jethro Tull, Mars Volta, Flaming Lips, Peter Tosh, Sharon Jones, Peter Gabriel, Acid Mother Temple, Mos Def, Del Tha Funky Homosapien, Parliament Funkadelic, all things Bootsy Collins, James Brown, Bonnie Prince Billy, Beth Gibbons and Portishead, Aphex twin, Mum, Bjork, Godspeed you Black Emperor, Radiohead, Rodrigo Gabriela, John Zorn occasionally, Katatonia,Blonde redhead, Declan DeBarra,frank Zappa, Roy Harper, The tea party, Playing in the shallow end with Gary Glitter and George Michael. So many more even your huge brain couldn't store them all (I have an external memory for music which is located in my crotch region)

Movies:

The Motorcycle Diaries,The adventures of Baron Munchaussen,The Proposition, Bambi, Fear/Loathing, Fight Club, Carlito's Way, Sin City, Heat, Ravenous, Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, Donnie Darko, The Professional, Fargo and too many others to mention but since you asked Gary the Goatfucker part 2 and the occasional snuff film after tea with nan.

Television:

Only SBS or ABC Blackbooks, Boosh and Wilfred etc.

Books:

Carlos Castenada, Thompson, Kerouac, Hemingway etc.

Heroes:

Bob Brown, Hugo Chavez, Hunter Thompson, David Suzuki, Ren, the occasional serial killer for their ability to see the funny side in what they do, i.e Ed Gein's armchair made of arms, why doesn't Yoko Ono do more of that type of thing, that is post modern art, not a shoe in a goldfish's vagina that's just crap.

My Blog

The Lack of cheese in public schools

It's disgraceful, while little johnny sits there in his oversized baby seal skin chair woffing down human head sized chunks of gouda and camembert ,our precious little jimmies and jimmina's of our pub...
Posted by The Almost Legendary Baron Von Schniffels IV on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 12:19:00 PST