Dilley profile picture

Dilley

I am here for Friends

About Me

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. p.s. the above crap is not me. I stole it from some entrance essay. But it describes me to a tee. I just moved back to Utah, working at a restaurant as a manager. I play the guitar, I watch movies and tv and I work....a lot. I love star trek...yes, I am a super major king kong huge nerd. PEACE!
You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 90% Spider-Man 85% Iron Man 80% Hulk 75% The Flash 75% Superman 65% Batman 65% Catwoman 65% Supergirl 55% Robin 50% Wonder Woman 45% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

My Interests

Guitar, my girlfriend, music, movies, chicks (only looking, and you can think I'm a pig because I don't give a damn) cooking, your mom, star trek and Magic: the Gathering

I'd like to meet:

Your mom. The guy who wrote the tuba part for the Matlock theme. Maybe it's the same guy who did the Dial commercial. Guys who play the tuba aren't cool but the tuba and it's sound are cool. It's a paradox, I know, but a cool one, at that.

Bert or Ernie? Ernie
Blind or Deaf? Blind
Rock Star or Movie Star? Rock
Xbox or Playstation? Xbox
White or Dark Chocolate? White
Nsync or NKOTB? neither
WCW or WWF? (Back in the Day) WWF
Country or Rock? Rock
Angelina or Jennifer? is this a trick Question
Miracle Whip or Mayonaisse? Mayonaisse
Chili's or Applebee's? Chili's
Wal-Mart or Target? Target
Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan? Jackie Chan
Simpson's or South Park? Simpson's
Christmas or Halloween? Christmas
Boys or Girls? Girls
Guitar or Drums? Guitar
Bud or Coors? Bud, it's less filling
Home Improvement or Seinfeld? Home Improvement
Joey, Chandler, or Ross? Chandler
Monica, Phoebe, or Rachel? Rachel
flip flops or clogs? Flip Flops
the kitchen or the drive-thru? Kitchen
Spike or Lifetime? Spike
Jeopardy or Millionaire? Jeopardy
Warcraft or Starcraft? Warcraft
Tupac or Biggie? Biggie
Brosnan or Connery? Brosnan
Vegas or New York? Vegas
MXC or American Gladiators? MXC

a

Music:

Guster, Death Cab for Cutie, Idlewild, Postal Service, Jimmy Eat World, Your Mom.
a

Movies:

Love Actually, Harold and Maude, Three Amigos, Gettysburg, Garden State, Boondock Saints, the Last Starfighter, any war movie, your mom.
a

Television:

Simpson's, Lost, CSI, Reality TV (only when Scotty Bills is around.)Invader Zim, History channel.
a

Books:

The Ender and Bean Cycles by Orson Scott Card, The Little Prince, the Alchemist,
a

Heroes:

your mom

My Blog

turning 30/reflections on life

So a week from Monday I am turning thirty years old. That is wacky to me.  Over the last few weeks I have been thinking about the nature of the friendships and those that I have had lately.&...
Posted by Dilley on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 09:56:00 PST

movie script I am writing

I am writing a script for a new kind of movie that the world has yet to experience.  Here's the premise.  I am a successful teacher that lives in Middle America. I have won the hearts and re...
Posted by Dilley on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:40:00 PST

my new career

I've figured out what I want to be when I grow up.  I want to be professional dumbass.  You see them all the time on those as seen on tv commercials and I want to be just like them.&nbs...
Posted by Dilley on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 09:05:00 PST

Why do they call it that?

So I'm watching tv, on my day off, so it's during the day and there are a ton of playskool ads.  For a short second I was wondering why there were so many of these ads? And then it occured to me,...
Posted by Dilley on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 12:41:00 PST

reconnecting with friends

As of late I have been trying to find as many people I went to high school with on myspace.  But there is a problem.  Even though I spent four years with these individuals, I barely recogniz...
Posted by Dilley on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 11:08:00 PST

Words I think are funny

WeinerMasticateGesticulateMoist(ure)FungusHymanWhoremongerJi bFannyDookieSlitFlabbergast(ed)
Posted by Dilley on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 12:30:00 PST

I think little kids are clincally crazy.

I guess my subject heading pretty much sums up everything that could be said about why I think little kids are crazy.  Let me give you some examples.  How many times have you witnessed a sma...
Posted by Dilley on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 02:56:00 PST

me too!

Here's some stuff I wrote a long time ago   momentary glimpses of yourface prick my brain and fleeinto the pangs of my soulI cannot escape the smell of yourvoiceand I don't think I would, had Ith...
Posted by Dilley on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 12:11:00 PST

What exactly is said in those meetings?

The following views expressed in this blog do not reflect the views of Andy Dilley, Andy Dilley Inc., any of it's subsidiaries, or Kathie Clayton, it's parent company. So I'm really curious as to what...
Posted by Dilley on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 11:55:00 PST

Because I don't have time to email everyone

So, this is so everyone can know how my life is.  I have moved to California to be a manager of a restaurant.  I did live in Salt Lake City Utah, as a server there, but then moved up in...
Posted by Dilley on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 01:37:00 PST