Cassandra

Ethnically, I am half-German. Spiritually, I am half-Asian. Emotionally, I am half-Pashtun. Nationally, I am North Korean. My Chinese name is Chung Li. I fence competitively. I also compulsively duel. In the summer, I earn a living pirating the Caribbean. In the winter, I shuriken enemy lords in feudal Japan. I am an award winning artist and speaker, as well as a practicing contortionist. In my free time, I translate Plato into classical Vietnamese. On the weekends, I fly to the United Arab Emirates to do business with Russian expatriates. Zinedine Zidane used to be my neighbor. I attended Yao Ming's wedding. In a word, I'm awesome. In a metaphor, I am what L. Ron Hubbard should have been.