I’m an ever changing woman, always learning something new about myself. Somethings I want to change somethings I just want to better.
Things to change:
• Caring about those who don’t care back.
• Giving into to weaknesses.
• Smoking
• Over analyzing situations
• Not being able to let go
Things to Better:
• My health
• My skills as a producer
• My friendships
• My commitment to buying a house by the time I’m 30.
• My ability to spot untruths.
I’ve been finding it hard to sleep lately. I walk my house, squeaking hardwood floors as my dog follows me back and fourth. Sometimes we stop and look out the window looking for a familiar car, nothing comes. I mull over weather or not I should have a cigarette. I end up having one or two. I’ll lay on the concrete in my backyard and look up into the night’s sky. Sometimes I find myself praying, to whom or what I don’t know. Maybe I’m just hoping out loud. I’ll get sleepy around the birth of the sun; I’ll then find my bed and turn on MSNBC as I fall asleep.
I dream of good things past and wake up desperately wanting them back. The day will start and I’ll go on with my day. Sometimes I’ll get weak and do things I shouldn’t, but that’s one thing I’m trying hard to change. This is who I am right now, but I don’t plan of being this way for long. I’ll change with the good and the bad, never saying “no†and taking chances that others won’t. These are the situations that will better me, sit back and enjoy the show, who will I be next year?
