Dickie

Dick is a man shrouded in mystery.Seriously, who is this guy? He just showed up one night with a guitar with way too many strings on it. He acted like he was supposed to be there. We all assumed that one of the other guys knew him. He didn't go away. He seemed easy to get along with, could play "And Your Bird Can Sing", and mumbled something about being a scientist. So, we kept him. He likes to give people rides home and likes Bass Ale.Published photographs of Dick are rare. Really, they are. We're not kidding. He seems to like hats and shaves sporadically. There's some rumor about him writing songs for sixties girl groups, but he doesn't seem that old. But who can tell. I mean the guy's a biochemist and all, he might have access to some great rejuvenator shit or something.He started rambling one night about manufacturing artificial DNA and how it all started with peptide chains or something. So we think he's working on some kind of secret crap for the government. You know, like androids and shit for the military. There's a grey Crown Victoria parked across the street all the time now. Last week I found a guy in a brand spanking new track suit going through my trash. He said he was looking for bottles. But this guy had perfect teeth, an expensive haircut and had showered recently. It all adds up and it's kind of creepy.Speaking of creepy, he seems to have some weird magnetism for hyper-intelligent scientist and doctor chicks who are secret alcoholics. Everytime you think "How many of them can there be?", another seismically repressed librarian is batting her natural lashes through her horn-rimmed glasses at him.It's like an episode of (cue weird music) THE TWILIGHT ZONE. It's uncanny.So that's all that we, or anybody for that matter, know about Dick