I'd like to meet:
Bums of our lives
My first video blog
A look at the messages I get
A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
The
missing
Jesus is a cunt.
Fat girl sandwich.
I'm big, black, scary and back.
Boyfriend/girlfriend application.
Old writing.a
Really ugly dogs and vodka.
Memoirs of a small town girl.
Myspace, Full of retards since 1997.
Exhibitionism 2, purple dog haired rocks +a few messages..
Frequently Asked Questions.
Damn bird.
Exhibitionism
EVEN MORE HOMO EROTIC MESSAGES
MORE moronic myspace messages.
Tamsins guide to wooing chicks.
Philisophical Ramblings 2
Philisophical Ramblings
Sexy Time
Oh the pain I'm dying.
My life story. Literally. Almost.(poorly written, heat of moment version.)
Moronic Myspace Messages(updated)
Leather Pants and Aids
Grandma
Subscribe to my blog
Welcome to Tamsins Vagina. Tamsins Vagina is a colourful place with lots of special buttons to press.
Allow myself to introduce...myself...
I'm commonly referred to as weird, that girl who smells of poodle juice or "dammn Shorty, wouldn't mind tappin' dat shit yo." I personally prefer, Tamsin (being my name and all). But if you really, really want...you can call me sponge muffin, anal flower, knob cheese, cunt face...but only on mondays and only if you have a hunch back and don't like Tom Cruise.
In my spare time I like to prance around like a retarded gopher and play with man boobies.
I don’t really know how to say this…but...er...well... I pretty much hate people. Half of the people I do hate have no idea. I’m pretty good at hiding it. Just the other day this guy I hate came up to me to say hi so I punched him in the head, killed his sister with a chainsaw then took his mother out for a seafood dinner and never called her back. Subtlety is one of my many talents. My ability to read ginger cats minds is the other. And before you say it…yes I know…I’m everything you could ever want in a woman.
My dislikes include: The sound of people eating, The sound of people breathing, the sounds of people drinking, the sound of people peeing and Tom Cruise.
My likes include: The sound of people pooing and cheese.
I come from a small town called Whakatane where getting pregnant at 16 is the thing to do and people ride horses up the street and yell "West Side, nigger" despite the fact its located on the east coast. (place eyebrow raised emoticon here)
When entering Whakatane you have shit ponds often mistaken for swimming pools to your left and a giant mill that dumps crap into the river on your right. They're directly across the road from each other...right by the "Welcome to Whakatane sign."
I like to pretend my life has been exciting and I have been on all sorts of adventures like humping german midgets and eating teddy bear ears...but in reality, My idea of a wicked time in Whakatane was doing things like: Sitting in a cardboard box on the side of the road and making bird noises when people walk past and Writing and peforming plays about animal sex and all middle eastern people being terrorists.
Actually, that was an under exaggeration. Sometimes I did genuinely cool stuff...like...this one time... I painted a rock purple and gave it to my Mum for Christmas. It's now her favourite paper weight. I was so proud. *sniff* I LOVE YOU MUM! *waves*
I spent a lot of my childhood in Taneatua...(which isn't much better) People use the traffic lights at the one Lane bridge as an opportunity to whip out their wangs and piss out the window in front of you... Oh don't worry...they always turn around to wave at you...Gosh it's not like their impolite or anything.
I don't like horses all that much. But I can ride
...horses that is. The only horse I actually like being the one I own, called Fleur. Simply because it's short, fat and walks into things. We have a real emotional connection, Fleur and I. I'll have sex with pretty much any horse though, unless its horribly deformed.
I'm by no means a wimpy little girl.
I love to go hard and fast...
on my motorbike. I have no objections to getting dirty...
on the farm. I don't whine if I break a nail and I don't give a fuck if you leave the toilet seat up.
I'm a very spiritual person...by spiritual I mean I worship (often perve at) the female body...except for fat chicks and those that suffer from Down syndrome.
I just made a gay bebo thing.
Your mother smells like googleberries.
I can be a bit of a flower child. I dance around in my underwear alot. I either wear: only underwear...or clothes with no underwear. I love loud rock music and my Jimi Hendrix poster. I want to live in a love shack by the beach with lots of hammocks and Pink Floyd playing. I like sitting in the middle of forests and listening to cicadas. Or sitting on the beach watching waves.
I'm completely in love with film, television and theatre production. Film especially. Love editing, cinematography, videography and script writing.
I eat like a famished obese woman who just won survivor and is eating chocolate for the first time in months.
Earlier this year I was abducted by an alien called ZORAG and taken to a room that smelled vaguely of parmesan cheese. ZORAG was wearing a silver jumpsuit and told me he was a medical professional who wanted to run some tests. He inserted a rectal mind probe to steal information about earth from my brain...It was up there for a long time because ZORAG had a slow modem. They must not have broadband in space. Then ZORAG was arrested by an alien called ZULTAN, who came to tell me that ZORAG wasn’t really a medical professional...he was just pretending. It was a special experience.
I've had a some what traumatic childhood which I kept secret for years...that eventually come back to haunt me in the form of some pretty serious depression. I dropped everything and went into isolation for 6 months. Sorted out some issues...spent way too much time on MySpace and ate a lot of apricot sticks. Eventually I got over living my life vicariously through the internet and up and moved to Wellington. br/
Yes...I'm an exhibitionist. I can be a bit of a hippy...I'm often more comfortable naked than clothed. I think the human body is a beautiful thing and enjoy revealing myself. No I do not sleep around. No I am not interested in having sex with you. Yes I do have more than two brain cells and enjoy decent conversations so a penis photo as a means of an introduction will not get a reply. My getting naked is often misinterpreted as begging for sex. For the record I'm more lesbian than straight...it takes a lot for a male to win me over and its only then that I'm sexually interested in a male.
♥Who I would
Like To Meet:♥
Someone who isn't only after getting my pants preferrably. But that seems to be a pretty big ask.
I don't care what you look like, what you've done, what you haven't done, what you would like to do or what you are going to do. I am one of the least judgemental and shallow people you will ever meet...unless you're fat or have down syndrome.
I'm interested in meeting YOU.
Unless of course you're a dick...in which case fuck off.
Anyone who:
Is a bear fighting, mutant Llama with lasers coming out of their tails and hooks for hooves.
Is an anally retentive html or css nerd that can teach me things.
Wants to teach me how to Salsa.
Lives in Wellington.
Does not send cock photos as an introduction
Isn't a 13 year old ginger kid who wants to know if cannabolism floats my boat
Is respectful but not too pc.
Spells like a grown up
Is interested in film, television or journalism.
Is a genuine and un-cunty person that can tell when I'm joking.
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