About Me
Which of the following stories is true?1. We all met tree planting and decided to spend the winter working on a band, up at a log cabin in Lee Creek, BC. . . . . way out in the middle of the bush. There was absolutely nothing to do, and we were sort of stuck there, so we recorded song, after song, after song, after song, after song.We recorded songs until recording songs lost all meaning whatsoever, then we kept on recording songs for another several months. It almost became an athletic sort of thing, as opposed to a creative thing.Nonetheless, we kicked out almost one hundred songs, and decided to put a couple up on myspace.2. A simple story, indeed.It was one of those foggy nights, the kind of night that makes wandering around a tense and unsettling experience. The imagination plays tricks on evenings like these, and summons the hidden fears that lurk in the irrational passages of the mind.We huddled around our sputtering campfire, liquor mostly drank and conversation grown thin, when the most peculiar thing occured.It seemed impossible, at first, but I suppose the mind can adapt and accept to any circumstance.It was Andre the Giant and a really short guy in a duck suit.They crept out of the foggy shadows like stealth itself. They semmed driven with some unholy purpose; indeed, for a moment, in the cloak of fog and shadow, they appeared to be demons or monsters of some sort.I, myself, was releived once I recognised Andre. He was my favorite wrestler during the innocent state of childhood, and I always thought him to be the gentle giant sort of fellow.I was, unfortunately, mistaken.First thing he did was grab owen and twist his left arm right out of it's socket. He then picked up a screaming owen and threw him through the fire, an into the underbrush."Just like I told you do it, Andre," said the short guy in the duck suit.We were all understandably shocked. Before any of us could react, Andre lunged again and grabbed j-root by his beard.Now, Jay is a big guy, as far as normal people go, but against Andre the giant he stood no chance whatsoever.Before me, chuck and xoph could even get up to our feet, andre has twisted Jay into an unrecognizably twisted shape, much like a peice of origame blood art."Yeah, Yeah," sayeth the duckman. I was beginning to recognize that voice, but I couldnt place it.Chuck an Xoph attacked andre the giant as feircely as they could, but to no avail, with a swat, he knocked xoph to the ground, and bloodied chucks nose.I, um, stayed back to supervise the situation."Hoit em good andre," said the duckman, hoit em good."I think it was the jersey accent, mabye it was the cheap smelling cologne that spidered off of the near midget in the duck suit, but I suddenly put the peices o the puzzle together.It was Danny DeVito.I called him on it."Your Danny Devito," I said. "Hey, man, your Danny Devito, arent you?"With a banshee shriek and a flash of extremely bright light, they both vanished into the night. I still remember the furtive, angry glance that Mr. Devito threw back at me. I knew that this was not over yet, not by a long shot.In fact, it had only just begun.What was left of our ragged campfire session decied, after a few months in the hospital, to learn how to play music and make a band. It seemed like the only logical course of action to take, given the circumstances. . . . . . .
