Anita in Nashville

I am the ministry coordinator for Tammy Trent (Christian Recording Artist, Author, and speaker). I work in the office during the week and travel with her on the weekends. I absolutely love it and can't imagine doing anything else. I truly am living my dream.
In my spare time (ha!) I also have my own web design company called Complete Faith Web Design, Inc.
I'm a girl who loves to experience all that God has available to me. I'm so blessed to be able to travel the world...and see the incredible beauty that's out there. There are so many places on this earth that are truly glimpses of what's waiting for us in Heaven. Check out http://anitarundell.spaces.msn.com to see some of what I've been able to experience.
I’m also a girl desiring to fall more in love with Jesus everyday. Some days I fail miserably in that area. But on the days I succeed, my heart is full…and peace sustains me.
Getting to this place has been a challenge…but going through that challenge is the very thing that pulls us through…because it’s how we grow and learn and trust.
Going through a divorce is hard on anybody, especially a 4-year-old child. My sister and I were left to live with Mom in Ohio while Dad was stationed far away at the Jacksonville, Fl. Naval Base. Mom did an unbelievable job raising two daughters on her own while she had to provide for us financially. Being far from Dad was not the only difficult thing, however – his alcoholism has a huge part in the pain that I had suffered. I truly believe that Dad loves my sister and I – deep in his heart there is a special place for us. But because of the control that alcohol has on his life – my sister and I were left behind. It’s hard to understand why Dad would only call us every couple of months or so – or why sometimes he would forget our birthdays. That feeling of abandonment was something that I got used to. My sis and I have had some special and fun times with Dad when we are able to spend time with him – but when we’re apart, there really is no relationship.
Currently, Dad has gone through 6 marriages and is divorced. You can see that alcohol is not the only thing that has control over his life – but divorce became a way of life for him as well. It’s easy to start doubting the institute of marriage when you see that your Father gets married that many times.
It seemed to be quite easy for me when I was younger to hide my feelings. You would look at me and see a bubbly little girl who played well with other kids and excelled in athletics and made the honor rolls in school. But deep down inside, my heart was torn. But I wanted to be strong for mom and for my sister. So you could never tell that what I was feeling was any different than how I acted. So, you can imagine the shock when my family found out, when I was 14 years old, that I had been sexually abused for about 8 years of my childhood. The abuser was someone close to me and had an important role in my life.
I spent the next 4 years or so in counseling trying to sort through all that happened – trying to heal the broken pieces. It did indeed end up helping tremendously. I realized that the abuse was not my fault and that I didn’t have to live life as a victim. The broken pieces of my heart slowly began to heal. Although, my negative self-image and low self-esteem took much longer to overcome than some of the other aspects of healing that I needed to go through.
Although I was beginning to heal, I still felt like there was a part of me missing. I longed for something more. I began to realize and feel just how much God wanted me. God really began to show me that he would never hurt me. He showed me that I could trust Him and I never needed to be afraid. He wanted to be my Father. He wouldn't abandon me or abuse me. I found out that His love is unconditional. He didn't want to see me hurt anymore. I didn't want to hurt anymore either. I knew that He had what I needed. But it took me more than just knowing about Him – I had to get to know Him personally. I had to open up my heart and let Him in. So, when I was in the 10th grade I took the offer. It's the best offer I've ever taken.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -- John 3:16
I started to understand that Christianity is more than a religion. It involves having a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus. I needed that more than ever. I needed to know that I was loved; that I was special in the Eyes of Jesus – the One who gave me my purpose for even being.
God has forgiven me for my sins. And I realized from His forgiving me that I too needed to forgive the person who sexually abused me for so long when I was a child. Yes, what he did to me was pretty horrible. But, we all sin. I love this person because God loves him. My relationship with him has come a long way. We have a good and strong healthy relationship. I have complete trust in him that he will never abuse me again or any other person for that matter. I also have forgiven my dad for the relationship that I missed out on with him. He is my Dad...and nothing can ever take that away. God gave him to me for a reason. So because of that, I will always love him. There's a certain bond between a parent and a child that I believe can never be torn apart, no matter what happens. I do know...that it is only by God's Grace that I have been able to forgive my dad and my childhood abuser. I could never have done it on my own.
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." -- Mark 11:25