Joe - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hmm...yeah, you know, I'm not gonna put anything here. Know why? Because NOBODY READS THESE THINGS!!! Know how I know? Because I DON'T READ THEM, EITHER!!!Know this- I'm a smart ass geek who is EXTREMELY sarcastic. I make lotsa bold statements, and use lotsa bad words. And I'm telling you right now- YOU PROBABLY CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME, AND AT SOME POINT I WILL OFFEND YOU. Don't say I didn't warn you. The rest of my page is self-explanatory. And if you should take issue with something on it, well, hey, it's called MY space, not YOUR space.Besides, what's not to like?
Designer Layouts

My Interests

BIKE RIDING, BIKE RIDING, BIKE RIDING!!! Also walking, writing, reading, working out, running, Wii boxing, watching TV/movies, playing video games, listening to music, listening to Howard Stern, doing puzzles that take up way too much of my time, hanging out with my Fort Myers crew- Rob (the hitman), Alex (my consigliere), Aprile (Capo #1) and Dena (Capo #2), hitting Robert Plant's high notes in Led Zeppelin songs, uh...yeah, I guess that's really about it. There's only so many hours in a day.

I'd like to meet:

All the great rock bands in their prime. Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Bob Marley, Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Rolling Stones, Steve Miller Band, CCR, the Allman Brothers, etc. And, ha-ha to you, I've met Bruce Campbell, and YOU haven't.

Music:

I LOVE MUSIC.

Movies:

I LOVE MOVIES. And I know more about them than you. Try me.Horror movies, horror movies, horror movies!!!

Television:

The Sopranos is the best show ever created. It's hilarious, sad, can induce waves of "pissed-offness" like you wouldn't believe, and is just plain COOL. Monk is an awesome show, too. Huge fan of Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiam, Family Guy, Law and Order: SVU, and X-Files. I even liked the last 2 years of X-Files where everyone said the show jumped the shark. You can bite me.

Books:

Read all of the so-called 'classic literature,' and liked/appreciated most of it. Stephen King is by far my favorite author. His "Dark Tower" series is the only reputable homage/companion to Tolkien's "Rings" books that exists today, and quite possibly ever will. (Until I write one, that is.) Chuck Palahniuk is also an AWESOME writer- he'll tell you how it is without missing one single gory detail. Also like Mario Puzo, Bret Easton Ellis, Steve Alten, Jeff Lindsay, and of course, Bruce Campbell.

Heroes:

My Family, second to none. They've been there for me, and continue to be there for me. There's NOTHING I wouldn't do for them, and there's nothing they wouldn't do for me.Bruce Campbell and Robert Englund, because they personify what is still good about Hollywood. They never forget what made them who they were, they never turn their backs on their fans, and they give their fans what they want. THEY ROCK. Good job, guys.And of course the Troops, and anyone else who puts their life on the line for little ol' me. Hoo-rah, guys, hoo-rah.

My Blog

Joes Movie Review- Across the Universe

Backstory: This movie was written by Julie Taymor, Dick Clement & Ian La Frenais, and was directed by Julie Taymor. It stars Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, M...
Posted by Joe on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:53:00 PST

Joe’s Movie Review- American Gangster

Backstory: This movie was written by Steve Zaillian, based off an article by Mark Jacobson. It was directed by Ridley Scott, and stars Denzel "Parker Barnes" Washington, Russell "SID 6.7" Crowe,...
Posted by Joe on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:21:00 PST

Joe’s Movie Review- Rob Zombie’s Halloween

Backstory: This movie was written and directed by Rob Zombie, based off the MUCH MORE SUPERIOR FILM, "HALLOWEEN". It stars Malcom McDowell, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris,...
Posted by Joe on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:24:00 PST

Joe’s Movie Review- 3:10 To Yuma

Backstory: This movie was written by Halsted Welles, Michael Brandt, and Derek Haas, based off a short story by Elmore Leonard. It was directed by James Mangold, and stars Christian Bale, Russel...
Posted by Joe on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:22:00 PST

Joes Movie Review- Superbad

Backstory: This movie was written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. It was directed by Greg Mottola (NOT Judd Apatow), and stars Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Seth Rogen, an...
Posted by Joe on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:18:00 PST

Joes Movie Review- The Simpsons Movie

Backstory: This movie was written by http://imdb.com/title/tt0462538/fullcreditswriters. Yeah, if you think I'm gonna list the GAZILLION names listed- FUCK THAT. Click the link if yo...
Posted by Joe on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:04:00 PST

Joes Movie Review- I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Backstory: This movie was written by Barry Fanaro, Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor, and Lew Gallo. It was directed by Dennis Dugan, and stars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Dan Aykroyd, ...
Posted by Joe on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 10:45:00 PST

Joes Movie Review- Rescue Dawn

Backstory: This movie was written and directed by Werner Herzog. It stars Christian "The Dark Knight" Bale, Steve Zahn, Jeremy Davies, and Marshall "THAT guy!!!" Bell. It's that time of the year again...
Posted by Joe on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 10:21:00 PST

Joes Movie Review- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Backstory: This movie was written by Michael Goldenberg, based of the book of the same name by J.K. Rowling, and was directed by David Yates. It stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma ...
Posted by Joe on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 06:49:00 PST

The Movie Quote Game Is Back

Dudes. Dames. Dose in between. How do? I realize it's been a while since I've "hosted" the Movie Quote Game. But the wait is over, and it's back. You can thank the ...
Posted by Joe on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 06:17:00 PST