Alice Ayres

Paul and I in the Incubus "Dig" video
This is the from the when Paul broke the World Record for fastest straitjacket escape. I'm in it at the very end....and i'm Fucking ADORABLE!!!!
..

He just a good ole boy from Midland Texas!! HEHE!! He's a Washington outsider man! He's just like ya'll! Hey Neil, Jeb! Go get them siver spoons! I'm gonna do a little silver spoons jingle jangle!! HEHEHE! HAHA!!

in the immortal words of Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)" I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass, gonna kick some ass in the USA, gonna climb a mountain gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass…rock, flag and EAGLE!!!!!"

My Darling Edie

ChIcKeN DaNcE!!!!!!!" ..
Get this Code and See more Videos here

David Cross: Uh, one last thing before I go. My other, the other thing that really fucking pisses me off make me angry Is, um, there really is an ever increasing growing list of things that make me angry, I realize as I do these shows, um…. Uh, Is niggers, now here’s the thing. (laughing and gasps in the audience) no, um, we just took like this weird turn all the sudden it’s like “what the fuck?” Alright, we’ve been dickin around for two hours, lets cut the crap! Alright, um. So one of the things I hate is like stupid, really stupid products that are, like their existence is predicated upon a false premise like they don’t need to fucking exist and they’re pushed on us like, uh, oh there’s ton’s of shit like um, do you guys have that infomercial for the Egg Wave? Do you have that up here? Ya, like that’s a perfect example, just this nonsensical thing, some asshole on fucking disability came up with in his shed, ya know and now he’s trying to make some money with this idea, it’s like “The EggWAVE! Finally a way to make eggs…” Ya know it’s a way to make fucking eggs in a microwave, ya know? And it’s got these, ya know, there’s tons of products like it, it’s got this guy’s trying to cook an egg and he somehow…can’t….figure it out, the egg is defeating him!! Ya know, in fucking 2,000 years of civilization No man has concurred the egg, ya know. I can’t seem to make it work! THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!!!! Ya know, it’s just ridiculous nonsensical thing but ya know there’s tons of em all the infomercials are ya know, a way to spool up your fucking lawn hose, like, ya know what just fucking wrapped it around the, ok what about this, ya know the old sailor way, what happened with that? I mean unless you’re a fuckin 90 year old invalid, just fucking wrap up your fuckin hose and move on. Stop your bitchin. Anyway, and this is, not really in that same category but it’s sort of like it, it’s about a product that is kinda geared towards bein cool like “It’s a cool spin on and old thing” Like we took this thing that I'm about to show you in a minute and like totally hip-o-fied it. And here’s an example and I hope you can all see this, but of this kinda thing that I fuckin hate and it’s unnecessary and people buy it, they fuckin fall for it they go “cool, that’s cool, I wanna try one a those” So here it is………….. “WHATS FOR BREAKFAST AT COSI?”……….(really low unsure voice) “uhhh…. It’s… bagel? It’s small, type, ah, plain, plain bagel? It’s nothin, nothin much to speak of.” “WHATS FOR BREAKFAST AT COSI?” “um. I um, I assume it’s a bagel, I don’t know. I would assume it’s a bagel, cause most places have bagels, and I don’t…why are you doin thi… it’s… it’s gotta be a bagel right? “Nah dude, not at Cosi, not a bagel……… TRY SQUAGELS!!!!!!!!! SQUARE BAGELS THAT’S RIGHT!!! SQUARE BAGELS! YEAH!!! LOOK AT THAT SHIT, IT’S SQUARE! NOT ROUND! IT’S HIP TO BE SQUARE!!! REMEMBER THAT SHITTY SONG BY THAT SHITTY BAND 20 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AGO!? THAT’S RIGHT! SQUAGELS!! DON’T BE OPRESSED BY THE TYRANNY OF ROUND THAT’S BULLSHIT!! THAT’S FOR YOUR OLD MAN, MAN. HEY OLD MAN, HEY GRANDPA, HERE’S YOU AND YOUR BAGEL *BITE* FALL ROLL AWAY, BOOHOO! UHUH! HERE’S MY GENERATIONS BAGEL FALL ROL… IT’S RIGHT THERE!!! RIGHT THERE! IT’S SQUARE MOTHER FUCK! FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCK!!!!!