Everything on Earth and in the Heavens, going to the movies, spending quality time with My only begotten Son, inventing new insects, ping-pong, smiting, judging, basketball
Technically I've met each and every one of you. I am with you every second of every day of your life, and I know all your innermost thoughts, fears and desires. But that's all superficial stuff - I really want to connect with someone f'reals. I accept all friend requests that come to me with an honest and open heart, but please NO SPAMMERS. I'm a busy divinity, so if you want to contact me just hit the "Send Me a Message" link in the contact box. I wouldn't bother with prayer to get my attention because I am SOOO backed up on answering those right now - seriously.
The Heavenly Choir, the Music of the Spheres, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, Joy Division
Last Temptation of Christ, The 10 Commandments, Ben-Hur, The Passion of the Christ, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Prince of Egypt, Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
American Idol (although I wish they'd change the name, as idolatry is a great sin in My sight)
Anything by Matthew.
Pope John XXI, John the Baptist, Robert Smith, Steven Spielberg, Pope Gregory XIII, Bono
The Best Myspace Survey
* . . About You . . *
Eye Color:: Irrelevant.
Hair Color:: White.
Height:: Massive.
Favorite Color:: Blue.
Screen Name:: CommandmentBoi
Favorite Band:: Praise be unto The Smiths, and may Morrissey sit at my right hand.
Favorite Movie:: I have "The Ten Commandments" on a continuous loop.
Favorite Show:: CSI. You never know who the bad guy's going to turn out to be! I mean, I DO know, but it's still suspensful.
Your Car:: The Lord needs no earthly conveyance. The Lord wouldn't mind one of those new Mustangs though.
Your Hometown:: I'm sorta from all over.
Your Present Town:: Currently, I am manifesting on a stucco wall in Buenos Aires.
Your Crushes First Name:: Mary.
Your Grade:: I know all.
Your Style:: Audacious.
* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?: I sit above all rooftops.
Kissed someone in the rain?: It never rains on me.
Danced in a public place?: The Lord does not dance. Be not fooled by this supposed "Lord of the Dance".
Smiled for no reason?: This one time, on the fifth day, I'll admit I got a little grin when I made dachshunds.
Laughed so hard you cried?: You ever see porcupines mating? I LMAO when I created that.
Peed your pants after age 8?: The Lord is not amused with this pedantic query.
Written a song?: Technically, I've written every song.
Sang to someone for no reason?: Whenever you've heard a song for no reason, that was Me.
Performed on a stage?: I only perform miracles.
Talked to someone you don't know?: This is difficult, as I know everyone.
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: I had to go to outrageous lengths to befriend Abraham.
Made out in a theatre?: DO NOT TEST ME, MORTAL!
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: This question means nothing to me.
Been in love?: I AM love.
* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?: St. Peter.
Tell you, I love you?: I've just learned to tune that out.
Kiss you?: I don't think so.
Hug you?: I like my space.
Tell you BYE?: Lucifer.
Write you a note?: And where would they mail it, pray tell?
Take your photo?: Human cameras cannot capture my image.
Call your cell phone?: My Son. Wanted to know when Game 4 of the NBA Finals starts. He's always really busy during sports tournaments.
Buy you something?: Anytime you've put money in a collection plate in church, technically you just bought me something.
Go with you to the movies?: I don't go out to the theatre. I have what you might call the world's greatest Netflix service up here. It's called "omniscience".
Sing to you?: Amy Grant.
Write a poem about you?: Somewhere, an untalented, lonely teenager is writing one right now.
Text message you?: Buddha: "R U D0Wn 4 BBQ?"
Touch you?: Anyone who's talked about touching God, I can assure you, was only being metaphorical.
* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?: While watching fat people have sex.
Time you cried?: They called it "Hurricane Alberto".
Movie you watched?: I've seen movies that haven't even been made yet. Spiderman 5 is gonna rock!
Joke you told?: The one about Moses and I on the golf course.
Song you've sang?: "Blue Monday".
Time you've looked at the clock?: The time is when I say it is.
Drink you've had?: White wine spritzer.
Number you've dialed?: Pi.
Book you've read?: "Under the Banner of Heaven". Those Mormons are nuts.
Food you've eaten?: I require no food.
Flavor of gum chewed?: I require no gum.
Shoes you've worn?: I mostly wear sandals.
Store you've been in?: The Sharper Image.
Thing you've said?: "Amen".
* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?: I can do anything.
Whistle?: See above.
Blow a bubble?: I can blow a bubble so large even I can't lift it.
Roll your tounge in a circle?: I can roll my TONGUE into shapes that don't even exist.
Cross your eyes?: And I would do that...why?
Touch your tounge to your nose?: That's disgusting.
Dance?: I can, but I choose not to.
Gleek?: The Lord is perfect, and does not gleek.
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: I never sleep.
Speak a different language?: I can speak any language. I can also speak the one true language, understood by all life. Try taking that at Berlitz.
Impersonate someone?: Elvis tells me I've got him spot-on.
Prank call people?: I told one crazy guy to gather his flock for the "Rapture", and now everyone believes it. Sometimes being God means having to go without humor.
Make a card pyramid?: I find pyramids distasteful.
Cook anything?: Yes. I can cook ANYTHING.
* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...: atheist, I'd cease to exist.
I wish ...: and things just happen. It's really kind of a pain. Black Death? That was just a passing thought I had while waiting for my microwave burrito to be done.
So many people don't know that ...: it only takes me, like, 6 minutes to make you people now. I can't believe I spent the better part of a day on Adam. Now I just crank you guys out.
I am ...: infinite.
My heart is ...: a deep ocean of secrets. I'm kidding! That movie sucked. I wish I'd never sank that stupid ship.