It all started when the alcoholic farmer fred went out to get a keg one day. Working very hard in the corn fields he was in need of a good drunkening and wife beating. He planned on hitting the beer store, then his wife and kids, then passing out on the back porch, like he did every friday night. All was going as planned, but on the way back from the LCBO he had to make a pit stop to pick up some seed from farmer ben. When he came back to his truck the keg was gone. In rage, he flew home, only to find the keg empty on his front lawn. As a young boy, he knew of a lady on the east side of town, who could preform all sorts of magic. He took his empty keg to the witch and she said "Fred Harley, youll leave the keg with me, and ill preform my magic". Now, she turned fred into a pumpkin monster, 200 pounds of angry, drunken, pumpkin muscle. She took the keg and turned it into a sword, and sending pumpkin beast on a mission to slay those teenager who drank his keg.Meanwhile on planet gorgimeth the planet was being taken over by rabid sea otters, and Igor, one of the few doctors/mad scientists in hiding left, was helping the injured gorgimethians. Because satan sent the ottors, and the diseases harming the gorgimethians, and this doctor was helping satan got mad and sent his secret weapon, Mustachio. Igor found out about this early, and escaped in a pod towards planet earth. Crashing in a pumpkin field in southbrook farms, a horny pumpkin beast was having his way with a jackolantern. Sticking his pumpkin stem in it, and shooting out his pumpkin seeds finishing him off, he realized something crashed into the field... 4 feet away from him. Opening the pod he found igor, and just before slaying him, he realized by the color of his fingers, that this little alien could play bass. So pumpkin beast had the idea of forming a metal band to lure teenagers in and slay them all, not caring if they are the ones who drank his keg or not. They would be confused and dazzled by all the confetti and celebration, then next thing they know, there in HELL. So this 2 man group played gigs in small clubs across north america.MEANWHILE mustachio drank 76 coronas on his way to gorgimeth, and ended up on earth with a hangover. Spain to be exact. After spending 4 years drinking tequilla, riding bulls, and growing his moustache, he took a swim in the atlantic, and didnt stop till he hit hamilton, carrying nothing on his back but a bottle of absinthe and his guitar.One stormy night in hamilton Mustachio was at the west side concert hall sitting in the back drinking cheap vodka and scamming on handsome men with pony tails when he heard something that caught his attention coming from the stage area. When he looked, he was what seemed to be a pumpkin monster and alien playing bass and singing, and being as drunk as he was, hopped up on stage and pulled out the guitar hes hand since he was in the womb, and played the rest of the show with these guys.After the gig they reported to an asian bar down the street to drink his absinthe, and they finished the bottle and ordered a round of beer, claiming to be 11 year olds. All of the sudden, the absinthe kicked in (it was the REAL shit, remember, its from SPAIN) and a tiki man appered at the table across from them. He had a pair of drumsticks, so the next night while playing the lair in Richmond Hill, they put him on drums. Not knowing if hes real or not, they named him "Chester" and he sometimes takes the form of a skinny boy with an afro. He may be a figment of their imaginations, but atleast everyone else can hear the drums!!!Together this quadteam travels from city to city in search of the ones who drank pumpkin beasts keg, the sick and twisted, the ones with ponytails and big cocks, and more alcohal. Satan Sandwich are here to destroy the innocent and encourage the guilty.
They are also here to stay.
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