About Me
My name is Poe
I am the Alpha and the Omega
I don't look for lovers, I look for muses.
I'd rather fall tragically short
while chasing impossible dreams,
than do anything else in this world
Destination: Big lights, big life.
You can X my page out:
It'll remove the cause,
Not the symptom.
< Everything's Got A Moral, If Only You Can Find It. >
1 Disclaimer: Safety first
If you are a pretentious idiot that uses immaturity to solve things, kindly fuck off. I don't need your surreality or your drama.
Anyone who thinks they are better than me will often face their doom with an abundance of harsh realities in the form of insults.
I'm known to have a split personality. Depending on how I feel, or who I talk to, will determine which person you will encounter. Some say it's schizophrenia, I say I couldn't give a shit less.
2 Let's talk about the basicsI gesticulate when I talk, so of course I'm interesting.
I don't like to shorthand myself and I've learned to be assertive, however I am generally humble. I am immune to pompous bastards and fatally attracted to enigmatic people. I take pictures, and enjoy making stuff with my hands, especially for people who are close to me. I am straight edge and vegetarian, but it it is not an influenced desicion. I also support abortion and gay marriage.
I often wonder about the nature of people's intentions.
I've crashed and burned more times than I can count and thats loosely based on my craving for experience. I plunge instead of jump and I never look before I do either.
I am driven by music.
My art is my world to me in quite litteral. As all perception is different, it is my personal explination of such. My humors, my fetishes, my dreams, my "the world would be better as"s. Written or drawn, I attain far more eloquence than the gibbering or dettached silences that I am prone to.
I don't bother to put any extra effort into my appearance.
While my mouth can run for hours and not mean nor say a thing in a second of visual viewing of five minutes of reading, you'll catch my drift like an avalance with a meaning as plain as a white on white on white background.
I have dettachment issues. I can't pay attention for long. I have little interest in actual people, but prefer to veiw them as projects. Games. Seeing what causes this reaction and that responce. This goes for objects, situations, and moments as well. Poke it with a stick, see if it twitches.
I've been known to stare into space and forget everything around me. The world fades into the back because the TV shows in my head are always better.
I'm a vegetarian that would eat people if we weren't so polluted. Animal cruelty goes second in the list of reasons, the first being that carnivores eat god knows how much shit everyday, and seeing as I'm not into faecalphilia, it seems to be something I'd rather not put in my body [but you go have fun with that].
As you've already rolled your eyes at me, let me be clear that I don't eat salads and grains like a rabbit. My mock and faux steak and beef and chicken and fish and lobster are better than yours, but of course you wouldn't know. Because you're sheltered and trained by mass media to think I only eat leafy greens.
Silly you.
3 Delve a little deeperI always like to know what people are thinking universally. My household walks around barefoot so I'm used to it. Modesty and benevolence are the greatest way to charm me. I'm extremely scared of heights but for some reason it still excites me.
I think theirs a difference between simple people with substance and verbose pretentious idiots that like the sound of their voice (guess which one i don't like). I admire people who know who they are because although I think I have a pretty good idea, I believe I don't yet.
I usually assume that I am always right and I often have a problem with being proven wrong. Yet, I will still admit I am wrong to avoid making a fool out of myself. I've grown into a stubborn man with the gift of giving advice from a universal level, which would probably make me a wonderful psychologist. The feeling of confusion is something I often encounter, which makes everyday a challenge to find "myself". I have a few dependable friends who mean the world to me and a boyfriend who I greatly admire, so any offers will be respectfully declined.
Relaxation and energy is key for a life like mine. During my years of survival, I have learned to expect the unexpected and to make no assumptions of anything. I am driven, competitive, intuitive, and easily disappointed. I have acquired a bad habit known as procrastination.
4 Gain a little insightI find amusement in performing the
wallflower role. A silent-but-deadly
approach, I like to think I've mastered
with a single raised eyebrow.
Eclectic and eccentric, undeniable self-proclaimed dork. A realistic idealist. Witty and sharp, I carefully make impressions and judgements through observation.
I have a tendency to think before I speak, and an affinity to hiding who I truly am until I know I can trust someone.
Emotional, tempermental and highly unpredictable. I'm a moody one, I wear my heart on my sleeve like a bruise or black eye. I'm a walking contradiction at times. Feisty to the core, I'll tear you a new asshole if you get on my nerves.
My quirky and childish antics include [but not limited to]: inevitably attempting to use my fist as my microphone,while serenading you via passenger seat, amusing you with the soundtrack of my life and of course biting your arm when I don't get my way.
To sum me up is a task deemed impossible. An unequal proportional ball full of sass, romantic tendencies, sarcasm, intelligence, and a bit of bitterness held against this world that I was born to lose in, but a hint of stubborness that I refuse to be held down, and live to win from.
5 Meet the alter egoPlease note: My disturbing attributes may be blamed on a past of which I oh so gracefully sculpted with bad intentions, and under-developed plans.
I'm sorry: I don't like you.
And I'm GLAD I'm nothing like you
My own entourage, I take care of myself.
If you want to get to know me, ask everybody that's never SPOKEN to me.
I ALWAYS pay attention. I'm truly listening and loving every second of conversation when I'm staring at my nails wondering what went wrong.
If you want to say I'm beautiful don't be upset when I smile politely. It's only because I want to die inside, it'll pass so we can get RIGHT BACK onto the topic of which celebrity made a faux-pas yesterday.
Where was I? Sorry...I've forgotten your name already. But it doesn't matter anyway; you're all the same
If Myspace was a creative writing class, most of you would fail.
Everyone on this site is supposedly fake except the rarest of few. You're all intent on the idea that what you see on this screen is some farce or wall in the name of selfpopularity, that it's an impossibility for any of this to be realistic. For someone to feel such as stated. For their thread to follow their tongue. Because you prefer the fucked up but no one could be, correct?
I always liked you better that way.
So just stop telling your friends about me, because they think you are the ONLY fucking moron on myspace if you like me. Just stop thinking I'm cool because look at obvious majority opinion and you WILL REALIZE your ideals are very foolish. Just stop whoring my page, because I'd rather not 5000 unknowns on my friend's list so they can spam up my fucking bulletins until I want to delete everyone one of you cheshire assholes. Just stop spreading the word, because it's only dragging YOU down, and you can't handle it well down here. So just stop mentioning my name to anyone.
I like being the absolute anonymous that no one knows about.
Because unlike every other bitch on this website, I prefer being under the floor with the worms while you all crash around in the ten inch stilletos you don't need, tripping all over one another's bullshit that drags as far behind you as your fake faces. I like being solitary and refined. I like people passing over me because I'm unknown. Unlike all the angstmonger kiddie-hoppers on myspace, I mean it when i say I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE and that i am ONLY HERE TO SCREAM MY OPINIONS and I could really GIVE A SHIT LESS IF IT MATTERS TO YOU.
So leave me the fuck alone dear Vanities. I'm ANTIBEAUTIFUL and I will remain and retain as such no matter the company that tries to keep me. I'm not losing my eyesopticals to your sick twist, and your lies are as blatant as every vanityfix I throw on every cheshire and supposed self proclaimed cunt out there.
Because smiles make you wrinkle, and while the rest of the world would prefer to be smooth plastic features, I'd rather look upon the commercial propaganda and vomit inside.
Vanity is a lie, hiding decaying skin behind layers and layers of makeup, photoshoping a face with a brush, blush, and pencil. I am what stands for the destruction of the lie. The knowladge that our marked skin and chipped teeth are more real than the mask billions put on everyday.
I WILL march my own one fucking subhuman army and I WILL carry it on alone and I WILL sneer at your fucking help if you're a god damn mindless git and I WILL never expect any of you fucking cheshires to understand boo out of my god damn motherfucking mouth because be it idiot city mantra or pure god enlightenment i am the one and only Christopher Poe and all else is smoketone opaque to my crystal.
You must be the only fool here.
It must be comforting to consider it fucked up, it must be less akward to consider anything as such abnormal. Your morals are abstract, no one bears the same consideration to what is right that you do. The word "harm" is not relative, because we all are harmful to someone somehow. Your breaking the heart of your first lover can cause the same damage as the rape of a child, depending on the person's temperment and how true the words are [andhowwilling].
I am what you need, aka the impossible dose
They choose you because you're easy to come by and a quick high. They choose you in larger masses because you're safer and relenting and can be taken in larger doses. They choose you because you're easy on the mind and none too thick in solution. They choose you because you're closer to home and not much different than all the rest of them. They choose you because you're cheap.
For all those reason, they [don't] choose me. For all those reasons, they hear my god damn name and they turn tail. Talk in whispers. Mention it in cupped hands and warn one another "No seriously, don't fuck with that".
They [don't] choose me because I am without restraint and I break sound barriers. They [don't] choose me because I’m easy to find but hard to obtain. They [don't] choose me because I’m more than a minor addiction and have a tenyearshelflife of an aftertaste. They [don't] choose me because I’m incurable once inflicted. They [don't] choose me because I’m impossible to turn your back on, They [don't] choose me because everything else is a five cent high afterwards. Filler. Echo. Copy. Lifted. Diluted.
A waste.
They [don't] choose me because even when you've got me under thumb I’m willing to bring the hammer down on your hand and my head just to get free. They [don't] choose me because rumor has it I’ve driven men mad, and rumor is everything. They [don't] choose me because my circles of speech are logical in how they skip and jump, they [don't] choose me because like a bad trip I’m pathless even when you saw it coming. They [don't] choose me because they're afraid, and when they do they're never the same.
They [don't] choose me, and when they do they don't talk about it. Can't talk about it. They [don't] choose me, but when they do it's the nervosa of shakes that whisper out their mouths on the subject. They [don't] choose me, but when they do they know how special and few they are.
So let them come and let them choose you, because they can't handle me.
I can't smile for the pictures because there's nothing left in my mouth. Teeth falling to bits to leave me a gas grill drip, can't move because he doesn't say to while his metal fingers make better of my molars. Take a knife and drag it over your breaking teeth, dig it up under the gum and scrapescrapescrape away [because] there’s my orchestra playing my blues. the only harmony I’ve got is a chatter in my ear that pours well over the jaw bones that split under his weight of words.
Here's me, rubblehubble and used bits for the better boy. Mom's abortion came back to bite me in the ass, possessive repressive and planning a coup with my body for black-market dealers. I’m for sale if she gets a dime and the curse through the teeth is "gilly" for the fingers that come climbing up and in.
And even if I’ve got nothing left I’ll [still] be your everything
[notouchyj*.quotedto:Poe]
shewasalwaystreatedbetter
withsticksinsteadoffeathers
When they sent me my knight in shining armor, I buried him so deep to the ground that they'll bury him under skyscraper foundations before ever finding him. Call it envy, but I am my own white fucking horse and the first man to lend hand was better off taking to a brick fucking wall. So boys please check yourself at the door, because unless you're homosexual or lacking your pieces, you're a threat here. [mind you] not to me, but to yourself.
Because nothing threatens me. really please let's laugh about that.
So do as you fucking like, I bear no right to demand any silence from any of you. You will of your own choice, and I have no bearings to otherwise. However don't try for me. I’ll warn the fucking world and now I’ll warn you. Don't. You'll be wasting your time on something you will be completely disappointed in. And if I don't disappoint, I’ll be disappointed in you. All the children that ever tried left me sighing. Left me bored. Left me wondering where the distinction of awe disappeared to that EVERYONE else saw.
I suggest you not add me, for you will not be getting what you ask for. My mouth is random and my words are hard to follow. I do not slow down for much of anything, and I only speak for and to myself unless I point directly at you.
I am the kid on your block that never lied to you. I am the one that does not stand out nor will ever choose to. I am the one who is not out to make friends. I’m screaming to myself, and save for any warnings I give to chase you away, I could care so little if anyone listened.
People will tell you I’m a saint
[they lie]
People will tell you I’m brilliant
[they over exaggerate]
People will tell you I’m possessed
[they don't understand]
People will tell you I’m full of shit
[they're jealous]
People will tell you I broke their heart
[they wanted it]
People will tell you I changed their life
[they need to stop fucking my sevenfootstrapon]
People will tell you a lot of things
[but I’ll tell you first]
I’m loud and obnoxious, and I don't wait my turn. I can't mind my own business, and I only stick up for someone when I want to, and attack instead when asked. I’m hot and cold on a good day, and lukewarm on the bads. I’m obsessive and possessive and repressive, and it makes me repeat until you wish I were mute. I’m two sided, but the sides are the same images in the mirror. I never change my mind correctly, and they all wonder if it's even a change with how I flow it. I pick up kids that let me and throw them away to rot when I’m done, peaking in at times to remind you that I’m no longer in your life. I don't mind losing friends as much as I don't mind loss of lives because I understand this is a natural stage of growth development. I stick to evolution. I’m sarcastic when I love you, kind when I don't. I can't comfort for anyone, and I make you laugh because you're happy I’m not saying that shit about you. I’m a bitch. I’m a one way train to self destruction, and you're my strapped and sedated crew. I don't brainwash, you do it for me. I’m stupid. I’m an idiot. I’m an immature cunt who can't keep it to himself. I need to open up and share. I need to not be so touchy and a little more social. I couldn't spell if a truck of alphabet blocks hit me at speedofsound miles per hour and the plate read "FONIX".
This is me. The mask you encounter is not this, but the similar boy on the streets that will be completely unabrasive to appease you.
No.
I’m not going to bloom like a fucking flower for you and drop all.
No.
I don't expect you to understand a word or see me as anything typical.
No.
I’m not naive enough to think the words "goth" or "attention whore" are below your state of mind for me.
No.
I don't expect you to leave me the fuck alone, to erase the word enima from your minds and thinks me unimportant. I can hope, but we all hope for silly things, don't we?
I am never seen in the media.
If they made me the front page, no words would satisfy. Interviews would halt with no questions clear enough, recorders would find faulty and haywire. Televisions across the world would explode and whitesnow the moment I came on air, satellites plummet to earth rendering mass murderhomocides that left me lifting no fingers. Telephones? Down. Radio? Down. Internet?
downdowndowndowndown.
Take your twocent whores in drag and make all the pages and papers, cover to cover of every magazine. Their ability is your inability to be unfathomable. There are laws against me[st.poe], the media's unspoken taboo. You'll never see me in media.
weretoogoodforthat
Only original in indesicion.
[yeahyeahyeah] everyone steals from this profile.
[yeahyeahyeah] you've seen my pictures and words elsewhere.
THEY DON'T REALIZE what any of it means, however. A predominant amount of you that read this and send me fivehundredemails a day saying it's beautiful normally are just putting your own personal ideals into my words. Copy and pasting yourself over text from this far off entity that you'll never meet, connecting to something so many won't admit to. It's beyond my understanding, really, because it's that feeling. It's
[somethinglike]
worshipping celebs on TV and reading the bible.
[somethinglike]
cutting open your skin and fucking in your mom's bed.
[somethinglike]
giving head for love and believing the lie that they love you back.
Oh and that? That'll get ripped off too. In fact I'm sure Jeffree Star took it before I even uploaded it, seeing as he loves so suck my ohsooriginalohsocontroversial dick with half the things I write simply because I won't write for him anymore. And don't email me congratulations on saying it, I get enough complaints about him everyday. It gets tiresome.
I'm a sick fucking twist and I don't suggest humoring and/or enjoying me. Despite all my love and loyalty I like to bite heads off passers by. I have a sweet tooth for naive boys, and it's as much an issue for I as it is they.
I am a bad, bad person. I'm red alert and high risk. Your life can't be anywhere near that boring. There must be something safer you can do. If you want to alter your perception then just shoot or sniff, you'll be doing far less damage than conversing with me. Spending time with me. Because I seem to have an addictive personality and I'm surrounded by grindstone snobs that don't seem to notice nor care the effect I have on them.
This is your chance to avoid me. The jibbermouth in the corner with the dunce cap. To avoid this complete lack of bravado filled with verbality slop that's spun enough times through you until you're awed despite how low class it is. So do yourself a favor. Stop reading this. Go the fuck away.
I don't think much nor well of myself, but that's simply because I think little of anyone. The rarest of few that I enjoy the precense of I have a tendancy to come off as worshipping, and will put them on pedistals for long periods of time. Because to me they are[yes], farfar better than you.
I don't go to parties to make friends or clubs to socialize. I go to dance and to veiw. I attract others however, and often will run my mouth without realizing nor remembering it, and from there it seems word spreads that I am social. We'll be honest here:
I am not. I don't find conversing due to my need to spill verbally nor mentally nor textually as social. I'll talk a person's ear off if I feel the need, but that doesn't mean I can very well stand you. Because in all likelyhood, I can't. Socially I take up and need far too much space, and even from ten feet away you are breathing down my neck.
Finally the outside matches the in.
Justice.
This is me.
I like laying on floors and sleeping. I like it a lot. I like it more then you.
Expensive things mean NOTHING to me.
They're trash, just like you.
Designer labels are trash, just like you.
Not like me, who sleeps on the floor and doesn't care. I don't worry about who will see me next. This is just one moment where you weren't there.
Vanity lays on the floor, broken mirror murder boy.
This is me.
Cold and alone on the floor.
Black market beauty marked barbed wire smile.
My hair is no longer touchable, my face untrustable. Unreliable and incomplete.
Broken down the middle.
Hard-wood mattress, callous manufacturous: gorgeous.
I'm not real.
You're not real.
Shut up already, your hair is in your mouth and the lights are OFF. Your high heels wont matter next week and those plastic neon earrings will burn.
Just like you.
Just like me.
Robot user-friendly electro teenage meat.
That's YOU.
Motherfucking Poe, covered in truth.
That's ME.
See the difference, taste the similarities.
FOR SELFSURE ADAPTABILITY
If by the time you're done reading this you think I'm ego-centric and full of the mememe's, you clearly haven't read this very well. There's no brilliance here, no genius. Just another one screaming and kicking until the sun makes my retinas dissolve, because I'll fauxfight about much of anything.
The ego is a no-go and the "thinking better than anyone else" never called an RSVP to this noshow.