This is how it fucking began... Andreivich Baldocski fled Russia after being investigated by the KGB for reasons he chooses not to discuss. Somehow he ended up in Worthing where he would frequent a seedy titty bar and drown his sorrows with cheap vodka. It was here that he met an equally lost soul- J.S. Cuntish III, whose heritage remains enigmatic. The two soon became friends of convenience. One night in their favourite haunt a band were playing. Just two guys, guitar and drums. To be honest it was shit. But lonely as they were, Andreivich and J.S. Cuntish III approached these two pricks. The two pricks introduced themselves: Moseley Roads, on drums, had a twisted look in his eyes. Dusty Vaughn turned out to be a sweet talking blues man from the Missisippi Delta. He said his guitar playing pals call him Slow Hand-job. After getting the fucking small talk out of the way these four reprobates discovered they shared a deep passion... For smack. They decided to go looking for a fucking score. They hit the poverty stricken Rowlands Road no-go area. The prostitutes were begging for it but these sluts were already becoming a bore. Infact, Roads headbutted one. Hard. Bitch went down so fucking nice. They turned down a back street that some spastic cunt reportedly peddled from. A figure emerged from the shadows and starts hissing like a freak. Dusty told him to cut the fucking bullshit and hit him. Hard. Anyway, the freak introduces himself. His name is the Cheeky Cobra. This seemed perfectly viable. He explained he had no smack and then pulls out a milk bottle full of Amyl Nitrate. He suggests a trip down the beach.
So theyre all just chilling on the beach, sucking poppers in to their faces like real fucking men when they notice a corpse has been washed up on the shore. Roads suggests they kick it in a bit and, you know, maybe slice it up a tad. Andreivich runs up to the dead cunt and stamps his head. Hard. The boys all then start laying the boot in. The Cheeky Cobra pulls out his blade and slowly slices the sodden bastards face. Cuntish III was reserved but clearly enjoying the tom-foolery. All of a sudden, what they believed to be a corpse started mumbling. He was alive. The boys helped him up, apologised and explained that they only mutilated him because they thought he was dead. The sodden bastard didnt seem too put out. In fact, he thanked them. He introduces himself. His name is the Grazing Horse. This seems perfectly viable. He suggests they all start a band. Thus the birth of Iron Flag.
Maintained by J.S. and I Made This Records . For fucking booking info email or phone/text 079 327 045 46.
Iron Flag Summer tour dates:
July 3rd Nottingham Rock City, July 4th Oxford Zodiac, July 5th London Garage, July 6th London 100 Club, July 7th Camden Palace, July 8th Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms, July 10th Liverpool Cavern Club, July 11th Glasgow School of Art, July 12th Glasgow School of Art (second date added due to overwhelming public demand) July 14th Hanbury Ballroom Brighton.
"Many things make me angry. When things are not right i get angry. I'm very much a perfectionist. Thats why we have chosen to record at Hansa Studios, Berlin."
Andreivich Baldocski Jr.
Cum in your face, golden shower, gonna fuck you up, abuse my power.
Hold you down, make you scream, feel my piece, d ya know what i mean?
