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Tom

She was like a candle in the wind...unreliable.

About Me


If I were a professional wrestler I would be "Bernie the Executive Producer." My executive assisant, Loni, would first come out to the ring, give me a call saying "The audience is here to see you now" to which I'd reply, "Okay, I'll be right out." Then, I'd wait another 15-20 minutes (depending on how good the crowd was) before finally walking out to the ring. I'd come out in a nice suit (possibly a loud tie) and carry a briefcase with files on my opponent. I'd take out my reading glasses, slowly read the files, and then conclude, "Yup. It looks like I'll have to wrestle you." Then the wrestling will commence until I give the audience the "Green Light" (thumb in the air) and deliver my pulverizing special move "The Script Note" which is a pile driver and a hand written note that says "The show just isn't working out. What other projects are you working on?"Also, I would not wrestle on Jewish holidays.
T Tempting
O Orderly
M Masculine
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My Interests

I just want to go home and listen to some Todd Rundgren.

I'd like to meet:



I want to meet The Batman.

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME INVITES WITHOUT A MESSAGE EXPLAINING WHO IN THE HELL YOU ARE. NO JERKS, LAME-OS, OR LENNY KRAVITZ FANS PLEASE. AND NO BAND INVITES.

Music:

radiohead, bob mould (solo and any band he's played in), neil young (solo and with "the horse"), the beck, the kills, michael penn, flaming lips (best live band EVER), the black keys, rilo kiley, tenacious d, spoon, eels, the walkmen, the arcade fire, secret machines, band of horses, wolf parade, and a sprinkle of Journey

Movies:

Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz, Knocked Up, The Departed, King of Comedy, Hostel, A History of Violence, A Tale of Two Sisters, Infernal Affairs, Jackie Brown, Tenebre, Suspiria, Once Upon a Time in the West, Hostel, Squid and the Whale, Matchpoint, Run Lola Run, Pulp Fiction, Brazil, The Fugitive, Better Off Dead, Airplane!, Office Space, Dr. Strangelove, The Conversation, Short Cuts, Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Glengarry Glen Ross, The Spanish Prisoner, Fight Club, The Game, Groundhog Day, Momento, Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Reanimator, Dawn of the Dead (original), Dawn of the Dead (remake), Death Race 2000, Dark Water, Kill Bill v.1&2, Lost in Translation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 28 Days Later, School of Rock, Before Sunrise, Black Christmas, Stranger Than Fiction, The Descent, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Spellbound, Dazed and Confused, Slacker, Dressed to Kill, Duel

Television:

freaks & geeks, the office (british) (most brilliant comedy in a long time), 24, arrested developement, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, curb your enthusiasm, The Prisoner (best sci-fi show ever), Mr. Show (best sketch show ever), Get a Life, Conan 1994-1997, Newsradio, Late Show with David Letterman 1993-1996, The State, Austin Stories, Subterranean, Lost, The Office (American), Battlestar Gallactica

newest favs: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Stella, The Office (American), Mythbusters, Lost, Spaced, Look Around You, Wonderfalls, Battlestar Gallactica, Beauty & the Geek

Books:

recent favs: Pride of Baghdad, King Dork, Running with Scissors, Catcher in the Rye, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, The Black Dahlia, America: The Book, Y: The Last Man, Naked, Bob Dylan: Chronicles Volume 1, Live From New York, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, books by Dave Eggers (aka "The Eggman"), The Walking Dead, Hack/Slash

all time: Our Dumb Century, Letters From a Nut, Slaughter House-5, Fight Club, The Late Shift, The Watchmen, A Wrinkle in Time, The Waking Dead, any comic by Brian K. Vaughn

Heroes:

Phil Hartman, Bob Odenkirk, Neil Young, Ricky Gervais, Chris Elliot, and David Letterman

My Blog

The Fable of the Moon Wolves Tee Shirt

  The Fable of the Moon Wolves Tee Shirt A Play in One Act For Children (To be performed by 1st or 2nd graders, but not 3rd graders because they will be too fat for the roles.) SETTING: A moonli...
Posted by Tom on Wed, 16 May 2007 01:15:00 PST

Delta Farce  The Movie Event of the Summer!

Get ready, America!  Soon, the movie we've all been waiting for will be upon us.  Move over, Man Spider!  Take a hike, Jack Diehard!  Bugger off, Pirate Johnny Depp!  This sum...
Posted by Tom on Tue, 01 May 2007 01:42:00 PST

Jack Palance's Greatest Movie

With the sad passing of actor Jack Palance (GQ recently voted him "Craggiest Man of the Year"), I felt it fitting to revisit one of his greatest cinematic performances.  No, not "Shane" or even "...
Posted by Tom on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 12:11:00 PST

Script Excerpt from Crash

Well, the old senile Academy voters have spoken and what did they resoundingly say? Racism is bad! It's really REALLY not good! In fact, racism is anti-good. It's just bad. And don't do it!Crash won "...
Posted by Tom on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 06:18:00 PST

NYC Comic-Con Notes

I attended the New York City Comic-Con this past weekend (February 24-26) and wanted to report on some of the most interestingly odd things I witnessed. 1.  Batman drinking a Diet Coke.  I t...
Posted by Tom on Tue, 28 Feb 2006 07:41:00 PST

Brokeback Mountain and other Gay Cowboys in Popular Culture

Brokeback Mountain (aka the gay cowboy movie starring that Gyllenhaal dude) has recently come under fire by conservative Christian groups for its mature gay content about two male ranchers who fal...
Posted by Tom on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 01:00:00 PST

I am a Renaissance Nerd

Most people are specific with their nerdom and regulate it to only one certain field, be it comics, movies, music, video games, etc.  And in each nerd field, their devotion and love is at a highl...
Posted by Tom on Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:49:00 PST

The TL - Issue .5

movies return of the living dead - so much fun, especially with a group psycho 2 silent night deadly night good night and good luck   tv lost the office (american version) - fav comedy right now ...
Posted by Tom on Thu, 03 Nov 2005 10:38:00 PST

To Tom & Katies Unborn Child

Hey fetus! Fetus! Little gross thing in Katie Holmes belly! Yeah YOU! Im talking to you. I just heard about your miraculous existence and I want to give you some advice for dealing with your insane ...
Posted by Tom on Thu, 06 Oct 2005 09:17:00 PST

The TL - Issue .4

Bored at work.  Here's some more shite I like right now... movies 40 year old virgin The Constant Gardener   books early bird by rodney rothman (about this 28 year old TV writer who retires ...
Posted by Tom on Fri, 09 Sep 2005 10:46:00 PST