CURRENT MOON moon info
..
.............................A love that leads to a life long lust.
Its been broken now for bout five years.So I pretend every day that everything is ok and my hearts fine with smiles and a handshake.But hey in time, right. Shell come around when I, when we least expect it. Shell be there around some corner, in some small cafe sipping her morning coffee wishing I to was there wishing for her. There there. Shes there. We just have to keep our heads up and find a place where it truely is ok to smile. Because it truely is ok to smile....
..............................
..
http://s1.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=124866
.............................As I soar just above such beauty, not able to touch.Gently weeping, breath taking over the wind that surrounds his angel of kind simplicities, blowing her hair, black as night, for miles and miles on the crest of a brethreavened world, for every single star to love.I alone, this single raven soars in the night’s sky of ghostly winters dusk, with the love of loves warming his heart, that he will carry forever, until the earth calls back his name and his last tattered feather turns white, frozen from the unbearable, silent cold.................................
..................................
............................................................
....
.................................Your right. Your right I cannot, no matter how much I desire, It just becomes to unbearable the heart breaking beating, everything as you know it greying apart and you have to remain forging forward in some randomly neurotic way not sure at all of where to begin to pick up the pieces that she so blackenly and maroonish, in such a deathingly graven decortive way threwn into the nights glare of ravens and devils, your heart for they to frenzy and feed upon...................................
..............................
...............................
...............................
.................................
..............................
.............................
.............................Some stories are read, but never quite understood.The words writen within tell of epic journeys and heroism beyond comprehsion.And the realisation is only held for the moments of misunderstanding.A ghost. A love. A shattered heart.And of the woman that has the only power to mend this.And of the man who will wait a life time for her...........
.............................For the quiet. On the day of days. Fauxpau smiles. None needed thank you. Just a moment. Only a moment. Words paint such a picture. Because they care. Questions. Touches. Laughter and that beautiful skin. Fall asleep with caresses my dreamer. Beautiful dreamer. Dream the dreams of dreams.As eyes and hands say thank you so much for the nothing.And that tiny little kiss, youll never know how much its meant..................................
.................................Flames the veins the life the blood.
Heaven inside burn as one.
Pictures are drawn and fiction is done.
The flames her name her face as the sun.The manes a million flames as the wind that I ride.
In strength in grace with graves that I lie.
The days the dawn the dead I hide.
Within her thoughts my nightmares decide.Rest your precious head my beautiful again.
Tomorrow will soon be here and death decends.
Searches me out as the endings of ends.
As I stare and I prepare and welcome the begin.Oh hopes and dreams you are his only bright.
The only warmth Ive felt this oh so cold a night.
I will always be here to watch over and protect.
And there is not a single word for the gift of you.So I give to you.This. My undying.My last breath…...............................
.................................Devistation weighted on my shoulders and my back creeks just like that old rocking chair. Timber I should scream however I cannot. What would my principals be then. What good of a father would I be then. Of a husband. Of a man. Im supposed to burden these with grinding teeth and white knuckles. Stretching and tearing are my veins. Ligaments. Muscles. Spirit. But somehow, still I smile. Because its for you.................................
.................................You are fucking poison.But I crave you no other way.
Your the life blood that flows here, pulsing with in these veins.I scream and I fight as I inject the night.
And I writhe in the perfection of your pain.The sweetest of sweets and pretty poison whispers.
And the candy apple dreams of which she makes me partake."Come here my pretty, my oh so pretty" she summons and I go as if in a dream.
No need for breath, the needle has left, exhale, and her words infest becoming every single one of my beautiful screams.My savior I savor the euphoria and the flavor and I promise, even if it takes the entire knife.
My throat will take, if its your god I must forsake, for you I will give my life.Youre the poison that burns, the consumate hate that churns.
The nothing that is everything inside.For youre the mending of wings,
My broken angel, of flawless seams.My hearts perpetual, Thief in the night.................................
.................................
.................................Just my head started going inside its self and had to find a way to weather the storm. And I heard screams far off in the distance, far off in the distance. Not being able to see through the pouring down rain and vaguely piercing through the thunder and wind. She was my shelter.....................................................
.......I dont want to be just something anymore, just someone. I want to feel what it feels like to actually live and be happy, genuinely smile. For my self, with my self, with someone.....................................................
.............Sexualy speaking, painfully yes. The kind that the blood is wanted, to show you I care. Having a dream yester pitch, that Im not so sure was only a dream, whispers the darkness in its infinity. Beauty beyond beauty, in my forte of this enlightenment of deafening silence. Flames as red and the coals that keep them burning, casting you upon I. Silky long black locks ghostily as perfect as the fear of this. Lips slightly exhaulted upon my chest. Kisses with tenses. The softest soft, of the highest cravings, begging for the life within her pain. Bodies contorted, conversions thrived and I cant breathe. Exactly as I had hoped as eyes cannot tear away. Hands, fingers demonsteratingly feel a thousand weighted lovers pained engagued and we are one. Thrice set, thrusting, thirsting. Tasting you. And I am drunk beyond strength. Red and black, bruises crawling my entire back and I crave you that much more. Screaming, moaning, operatic tounges, enthroaned, just as the passion within our. Mouth of blood, it hurts to move and I crave you no other way.
...............................
.....................................
.....................................See youve got me all wrong babe. Im not against your god. Im against not questioning motives of anyone or anything period that can make us believe its ok that our babies die.................................
........................................Fuck you, for my even, for one single second, thinking that I was cared about like a fucking man that will beat you up inside.Im sorry that I cant hurt you like that.Fuck you for my believing that you could possibly love me.In that way.Im sorry that my heart cant shatter yours so incredably vexatiously enough, that you can be so extaticly happy.Fuck you for my seeing past all your, "or for worse"Im sorry that I actually, SEE, just you.Fuck you, for my even caring enough to even care enough.Im sorry that I cant damage you as vast as you desire for you to find your love for me, as you do the pain that you crave.Fuck you for wanting to fuck me and you knowing that it would be making love.And fuck you with your cigarettes and cocktails and my taking care of you with out you even knowing.Im sorry that I couldnt leave you stranded as it would have made you fall maddly in love with me.Stumbling home, alone, freezing and enebreated at three in the morning.What a better way to someones heart....But mostly fuck me cuase I give a fuck enough to give a fuck knowing giving a fuck doesnt matter to you.Im so sorry. Fuck.....................................
Its the flames. Soaring stretching reaching to consume. Five feet below and im bound by humiliating torturing. The love hateing under my body gradualy becomes so burning, insanely red and blue iradescient im not sure if its freezing or melting jagged x's on my soul, on my skin. Shussh. Quiet baby.Wincing and screaming flailling as far as her bounds allow. Let go! Please let me let you go! Body so tense fighting I can feel my muscles ripping fracturing my wrists, ankles bleeding and my necks become black trying to tear away not to see you, your face. Splitting cracking spitting. Screams such as I've never before heard in this life time, im not so sure in another, and never again, pierce even my own ears. As if something growing forging, speaking in toungs. Deamons fighting one another to excape and find you, your heart. Eating, feeding everything ive been fed. Your words licking flames acheingly crawling closer to my flesh so omnipitant silence screaming deafens its your perfect whispers I hear guiding me awake but asleep to my grave you have laid out so beautifly angelic. Please allow me to let go. Allow the candle to sleep. Find the dark. Please. Love.Just look at what youve already done. What Ive become.She stands above me. Such a beautiful smile. Crooked bottom lip shes biting. Staring straight into my eyes. I have her taste, her wetness, her. Still on my lips. Filled engorged swollen swaying in and out of my and she. Closing opening eyes. Trying to catch. Breath.Does this make you happy? she says. I can make you happy.................................
Whispers. "I just wish she would see me" In his mind, face distorted from the mirror on the wall in the quiet, dimly lit walls of his broken castle. His broken heart. Broken mind.Hands hold the sink of hurt bracing his anticipated delapitation her words have begun."I dont understand" Spoken out loud, in a muttered slightly tenored scattered voice. Im not a monster. This heart beats. Just as you. Just like you." Am I ugly" he wonders. She screamed so. Has my ugliness altered this beating inside, he sighs, breathing out one soft breath, head droping towards the faded, greying monotone fixtures."Your ugly" Through and though his mind creeps and crawls these words spoken from a princess, once upon a time, in his world. World of trust and belief."All I ever wanted was for you to see how beautiful you are, were to me" But those tortures words like a river of blood pouring for her to drink in the prestine, perfect emerald goblet of her hands." Look at what youve done, what Ive allowed you to make become "" She misses his words " Wiping away his face, clean from the jaded glass only to see maybe what everyone else sees." no one ""But thats not me" "But how would anyone know, you never let anyone in" " I tried " " I try " " I want to " " Im just scared to let her know the truth " " How can anyone love you, find you beautiful, with your truth " " With this truth " " You find her so absolutely flawless, just her, inside and out" " Why cant she just see me "Staring at this man in the cleansed moment of eye meeting eye. Face seeing face. Truth touching truth.As the glass layers its self again and again, steam from a thousand broken hearts churning, more and more, until he swears the beads of coagulation, theyve become his tears, and his tears kiss his lips ever so gently as his body slumps inbetween tired, burdoned shoulders and he begins to fade away.Fading into himself behind his reflection.And Im sure, to you.
This is beautiful....
center
Letter to god....I just hate girls.I don’t understand. And am kinda at the point I really never want to.They lie and cheat and steal, hearts and love and trust.I have a feeling that there will always be a reason. A reason why their sorry, you just weren’t quite good enough, that they don’t know why they did that, I was just scared.I’m beginning to feel as though its not real. Nothing is real.Everything that I’ve always believed in, is some figment of my over active, obviously distorted love imagination, that god found for some sense of his complete and utter enjoyment, to place in the minds and hearts of those that actually, just truly, want to know what it is to be loved back, unconditionally.As you watch that all ripped away from under the solidity that you thought you were standing upon which was her heart. By a god that you have always needed to believe was a good god, that have been told is a good god.Being hung by all her beautifully, perfect words and his laughter in the background, that have become the omnipotent strength of the most rossed and floral arranged, serene noose that strangles the last bit of belief and life out of you. As you gag and twitch and fight and fight and fight for one last breath of her to stay alive.Quite funny isn’t it, that god and women hold the same place in a true mans heart.That they are the only two beings in existence that you never will be able to hold nor to touch completely, having to have faith in, just to get close to.I think I may have just lost my faith.Thank you god. Thank you women.I suppose one day, I too will find the humor in all of this.Oh and PS... Fuck you and fuck faith and everything that its supposed to stand for.Sincerely, a broken heart….
..
Ok. So. Just to show there is another side of myself. I posted this. The ultimate truth. No matter what anyone says. Yeah. This is my geeky arse. Haha. See I do smile damnit!! And it is kinda cute if I do say so myself..haha!
And to yes Ive been incredably devistated with what I believe love is, should be and the way one should be treated within this, that just hasnt quite been, shall I say, seen eye to eye with, with the handfull of women that Ive chosen to give myself to, however having said that. With out having to pick serrated shards, razored splinters and bloody filamented burning fragmentes of my heart from off of the flaming tar riden asphault that she decided to use all of the strength of GOD to throw it against, I would never understand how it fits back together and Id never be able to be the right man, the right love, the right angel for my one, when she finally does find me. So until then I have to find the humor in everything, hence the below. So after the emotional break down above, trust me just look at the pictures, read the insignia and play the video. Youll smile. Expecially those of you that truely know me....Hehe.
..
....