So said the raven profile picture

So said the raven

I am her black flower that grows in her black garden that is fed with all her little white lies.

About Me

Oh my JESUS!! This is FREAKIN AWESOME!! Just found these! I have no words!! I had nooo idea anyone ever even did any of theseeeeeeee! Thank you sooooo much!! This means more than you can ever ever know!!6'3, 185 lb. Greenish grey blue eyed, tattooed, witty, funny, yet not quite ecentric. Edgy slash GQ. Jiu Jitsu training, Jeet Kune Do fighting, Cherokee - Chocotaw Indian. Mantooth, Hunter, sweetheart. I'm a huge geek. I laugh way to much. Smile way to big. I'm an intense mother fucker. I need mental stimulation insanely, it's highly arrousing to other part's of this man. When I love it's completely. I'm with my girl wether were breathing the same breath holding one another or when she's 10000 mile's away. There is no difference to my heart, she's with me always. I don't date. We're either friends or you have me. This heart is long term. So please dont break this beating fragility. The character of Wyat Earp. An Indian warrior. I believe that a man's word is his bond. What good is a man if his word means nothing. I am very much driven by my ancestery and its spirituality. If only people could see and understand balance, compassion, respect, honor and love, our children would have an amazing earth to grow up in, on, as would the rest of our loved ones. I think way to much. Im way to ambitious and my time is way to short. Im much to nice unless you talk and or act unpleasant to my girl, family and friends. Please dont make me angry, you wouldnt like me when im angry...................................
...............................Helki. Its what she called me in my Native American tonge. She said because I just am. That it is just I. A healer in heart. A touching of soul. A raven amoungst angels. Helki. My Native American name. She just smiled. Took my hand into her boosm as if it were a new born child held it against her heart and closed her eyes. Forever..................................................... ..........
Who is the raven one asks.Who she is is not the important relic rather the visions that are told to the ones that question.The raven flies upon both sides, on the thin line of cognative and cereberal realities.Its upon the reciever in what way one directs and percieves this flier.So infacto repretarium, its not the raven that one needs to be inlear of its the holder of the one who is in perplex of and finds fear within this..............................
............................................................ ......The below, writen by a very dear friend. Such a beautiful heart. One that I love and cherish, always.
Sad eyes can see sad eyes, without the who, what's and whys. In you I see a broken spirit, one who did nothing to deserve it. You who holds the key to your heart, and never shows when you're falling apart. You triumph so often, and let yourself be forgotten, while others still glory in the height of your story. A soul too true to his own, that he's left feeling so alone, with friends right beside you, and life deep within you, I see the light of you awakening and for you, a whole new beginning. So when you feel like you are lost and that your heart's turned to frost, know those around you truly love you and would do anything for you....
..................................Once a friend with the potential to be the best. And who wants anything more than a best.Flowers in hand meaning something more than the latter, well at least he hopes shes noticed.Going on a full cycle of moon to full moon and not a word. No smoke signal. No torch far off in the great distance for I to see. To be summoned.And still I sit here. Patient and greying.What once was a man with hope and future is now a heart placed within arrows reach of a piercing and war chants of success and a kill.I will make no sound, he says, if this is what you desire. I will only stand here staring into you, your eyes.I accept, for your reasons, your inevatable. And I miss you more than the heavens can hold angels, than the spirits of my ancestors that guide me, that led me once, to you, a beautiful glowing light for a darkened world held in the impetual night, because.Because, I know what we can and could have been.
Singing, its my absolute passion (aside from the passion that is writing) - My Beautiful Secret - Juice - Glass Cut Eternity- Sexart - if not for singing, my will as well as my heart would have passed long ago. Below are pathways, portols to hidden, sacred, secret thoughts and moments he has entwined and entangled himself, partaken and become lucidily intoxicated within. The pain and scerenity of tasting, affraid to share with himself, let alone the world, yet needed to, as I know I could not be the only one with the understanding of a razors blade and her words that have made this enevitable coagulation inside so beautiful to anothers eyes as the water turns into the most dark of sunsets, creeping until completed pitch. Memoirs of some of what Ive done with my music and the amazing individuals Ive had the privelidge of working with. Maybe it will give the curious an insight to this humbled man other than the words he uses, tries to paint with and the thousand smiles smiled, trying to cover them over.
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore!
Glass Cut Eternity. My music my heart and words that sing a soul. Please, click any of the below links, automatically music plays. Thank you so much for listening to my hidden."You are the quentesential entertwining of two tortured souls, Layne stayley and Edgar Allan Poe." This is the most wonderfull thing anyone has ever said of myself. Thank you more than you can ever know.Juice worked with Columbia records. Charlie Clouser from Nine inch nails and many other amazing persons and musicians. Toured the world and found understanding to whom just some random no one from Bakersfield truely is.Thank you so much for listening to my music, means more to me than you will ever know. Its so hard sometimes to show these pieces of you because there so sacred.I personally would like to say thank you to all the beautiful women who are becoming feminine again. Allowing their hair to grow. You have no idea how much of a struggle it has been to see for so long a time females non feminine. There is just something so carnal and sacred to a classy, sexy, intoxicating woman with long flowing auburn, lightly brushing against her face in the breeze, the way her gentle hands reach up to move and tie those behind her ear.... The way when she smiles and her hair falls into her face and she arches backwards pushing to the side falling to the back of her neck river of sanctuary as she shows you her smiles again. Thank you , Thank you, Thank you!!!................................
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Intermiriads intertwined intersolstice inline. Partiality individuality subliminology and a quarter moon evolving. Hands changing sweating slaving. Half of a whole with blood takes its tole and my heart only beats in patterns. Worriesome comletion rhymathatic depleation hold on its almost time for the sun.
I think I'd vote for this guy ... maybe for President! You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb. Well......... SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN! Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78. The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals. I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison. Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail': He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies. He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel. When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs. He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value. When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton.....If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.' He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place. More On The Arizona Sheriff: With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usua! l In Pho enix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts. On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees Inside The Week Before. Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS. 'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.' Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn't Commit Any Crimes,So Shut Your Mouths!' Way To Go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves. If you agree, pass this on. If not, just delete it. Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona

My Interests

CURRENT MOON moon info
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.............................A love that leads to a life long lust.

Its been broken now for bout five years.So I pretend every day that everything is ok and my hearts fine with smiles and a handshake.But hey in time, right. Shell come around when I, when we least expect it. Shell be there around some corner, in some small cafe sipping her morning coffee wishing I to was there wishing for her. There there. Shes there. We just have to keep our heads up and find a place where it truely is ok to smile. Because it truely is ok to smile....

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http://s1.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=124866

.............................As I soar just above such beauty, not able to touch.Gently weeping, breath taking over the wind that surrounds his angel of kind simplicities, blowing her hair, black as night, for miles and miles on the crest of a brethreavened world, for every single star to love.I alone, this single raven soars in the night’s sky of ghostly winters dusk, with the love of loves warming his heart, that he will carry forever, until the earth calls back his name and his last tattered feather turns white, frozen from the unbearable, silent cold.................................

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.................................Your right. Your right I cannot, no matter how much I desire, It just becomes to unbearable the heart breaking beating, everything as you know it greying apart and you have to remain forging forward in some randomly neurotic way not sure at all of where to begin to pick up the pieces that she so blackenly and maroonish, in such a deathingly graven decortive way threwn into the nights glare of ravens and devils, your heart for they to frenzy and feed upon...................................

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.............................Some stories are read, but never quite understood.The words writen within tell of epic journeys and heroism beyond comprehsion.And the realisation is only held for the moments of misunderstanding.A ghost. A love. A shattered heart.And of the woman that has the only power to mend this.And of the man who will wait a life time for her...........
.............................For the quiet. On the day of days. Fauxpau smiles. None needed thank you. Just a moment. Only a moment. Words paint such a picture. Because they care. Questions. Touches. Laughter and that beautiful skin. Fall asleep with caresses my dreamer. Beautiful dreamer. Dream the dreams of dreams.As eyes and hands say thank you so much for the nothing.And that tiny little kiss, youll never know how much its meant..................................

.................................Flames the veins the life the blood. Heaven inside burn as one. Pictures are drawn and fiction is done. The flames her name her face as the sun.The manes a million flames as the wind that I ride. In strength in grace with graves that I lie. The days the dawn the dead I hide. Within her thoughts my nightmares decide.Rest your precious head my beautiful again. Tomorrow will soon be here and death decends. Searches me out as the endings of ends. As I stare and I prepare and welcome the begin.Oh hopes and dreams you are his only bright. The only warmth Ive felt this oh so cold a night. I will always be here to watch over and protect. And there is not a single word for the gift of you.So I give to you.This. My undying.My last breath…...............................

.................................Devistation weighted on my shoulders and my back creeks just like that old rocking chair. Timber I should scream however I cannot. What would my principals be then. What good of a father would I be then. Of a husband. Of a man. Im supposed to burden these with grinding teeth and white knuckles. Stretching and tearing are my veins. Ligaments. Muscles. Spirit. But somehow, still I smile. Because its for you.................................

.................................You are fucking poison.But I crave you no other way. Your the life blood that flows here, pulsing with in these veins.I scream and I fight as I inject the night. And I writhe in the perfection of your pain.The sweetest of sweets and pretty poison whispers. And the candy apple dreams of which she makes me partake."Come here my pretty, my oh so pretty" she summons and I go as if in a dream. No need for breath, the needle has left, exhale, and her words infest becoming every single one of my beautiful screams.My savior I savor the euphoria and the flavor and I promise, even if it takes the entire knife. My throat will take, if its your god I must forsake, for you I will give my life.Youre the poison that burns, the consumate hate that churns. The nothing that is everything inside.For youre the mending of wings, My broken angel, of flawless seams.My hearts perpetual, Thief in the night.................................
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.................................Just my head started going inside its self and had to find a way to weather the storm. And I heard screams far off in the distance, far off in the distance. Not being able to see through the pouring down rain and vaguely piercing through the thunder and wind. She was my shelter..................................................... .......I dont want to be just something anymore, just someone. I want to feel what it feels like to actually live and be happy, genuinely smile. For my self, with my self, with someone..................................................... .............Sexualy speaking, painfully yes. The kind that the blood is wanted, to show you I care. Having a dream yester pitch, that Im not so sure was only a dream, whispers the darkness in its infinity. Beauty beyond beauty, in my forte of this enlightenment of deafening silence. Flames as red and the coals that keep them burning, casting you upon I. Silky long black locks ghostily as perfect as the fear of this. Lips slightly exhaulted upon my chest. Kisses with tenses. The softest soft, of the highest cravings, begging for the life within her pain. Bodies contorted, conversions thrived and I cant breathe. Exactly as I had hoped as eyes cannot tear away. Hands, fingers demonsteratingly feel a thousand weighted lovers pained engagued and we are one. Thrice set, thrusting, thirsting. Tasting you. And I am drunk beyond strength. Red and black, bruises crawling my entire back and I crave you that much more. Screaming, moaning, operatic tounges, enthroaned, just as the passion within our. Mouth of blood, it hurts to move and I crave you no other way.

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.....................................See youve got me all wrong babe. Im not against your god. Im against not questioning motives of anyone or anything period that can make us believe its ok that our babies die.................................
........................................Fuck you, for my even, for one single second, thinking that I was cared about like a fucking man that will beat you up inside.Im sorry that I cant hurt you like that.Fuck you for my believing that you could possibly love me.In that way.Im sorry that my heart cant shatter yours so incredably vexatiously enough, that you can be so extaticly happy.Fuck you for my seeing past all your, "or for worse"Im sorry that I actually, SEE, just you.Fuck you, for my even caring enough to even care enough.Im sorry that I cant damage you as vast as you desire for you to find your love for me, as you do the pain that you crave.Fuck you for wanting to fuck me and you knowing that it would be making love.And fuck you with your cigarettes and cocktails and my taking care of you with out you even knowing.Im sorry that I couldnt leave you stranded as it would have made you fall maddly in love with me.Stumbling home, alone, freezing and enebreated at three in the morning.What a better way to someones heart....But mostly fuck me cuase I give a fuck enough to give a fuck knowing giving a fuck doesnt matter to you.Im so sorry. Fuck.....................................

Its the flames. Soaring stretching reaching to consume. Five feet below and im bound by humiliating torturing. The love hateing under my body gradualy becomes so burning, insanely red and blue iradescient im not sure if its freezing or melting jagged x's on my soul, on my skin. Shussh. Quiet baby.Wincing and screaming flailling as far as her bounds allow. Let go! Please let me let you go! Body so tense fighting I can feel my muscles ripping fracturing my wrists, ankles bleeding and my necks become black trying to tear away not to see you, your face. Splitting cracking spitting. Screams such as I've never before heard in this life time, im not so sure in another, and never again, pierce even my own ears. As if something growing forging, speaking in toungs. Deamons fighting one another to excape and find you, your heart. Eating, feeding everything ive been fed. Your words licking flames acheingly crawling closer to my flesh so omnipitant silence screaming deafens its your perfect whispers I hear guiding me awake but asleep to my grave you have laid out so beautifly angelic. Please allow me to let go. Allow the candle to sleep. Find the dark. Please. Love.Just look at what youve already done. What Ive become.She stands above me. Such a beautiful smile. Crooked bottom lip shes biting. Staring straight into my eyes. I have her taste, her wetness, her. Still on my lips. Filled engorged swollen swaying in and out of my and she. Closing opening eyes. Trying to catch. Breath.Does this make you happy? she says. I can make you happy.................................

Whispers. "I just wish she would see me" In his mind, face distorted from the mirror on the wall in the quiet, dimly lit walls of his broken castle. His broken heart. Broken mind.Hands hold the sink of hurt bracing his anticipated delapitation her words have begun."I dont understand" Spoken out loud, in a muttered slightly tenored scattered voice. Im not a monster. This heart beats. Just as you. Just like you." Am I ugly" he wonders. She screamed so. Has my ugliness altered this beating inside, he sighs, breathing out one soft breath, head droping towards the faded, greying monotone fixtures."Your ugly" Through and though his mind creeps and crawls these words spoken from a princess, once upon a time, in his world. World of trust and belief."All I ever wanted was for you to see how beautiful you are, were to me" But those tortures words like a river of blood pouring for her to drink in the prestine, perfect emerald goblet of her hands." Look at what youve done, what Ive allowed you to make become "" She misses his words " Wiping away his face, clean from the jaded glass only to see maybe what everyone else sees." no one ""But thats not me" "But how would anyone know, you never let anyone in" " I tried " " I try " " I want to " " Im just scared to let her know the truth " " How can anyone love you, find you beautiful, with your truth " " With this truth " " You find her so absolutely flawless, just her, inside and out" " Why cant she just see me "Staring at this man in the cleansed moment of eye meeting eye. Face seeing face. Truth touching truth.As the glass layers its self again and again, steam from a thousand broken hearts churning, more and more, until he swears the beads of coagulation, theyve become his tears, and his tears kiss his lips ever so gently as his body slumps inbetween tired, burdoned shoulders and he begins to fade away.Fading into himself behind his reflection.And Im sure, to you. This is beautiful....

I'd like to meet:


center

Letter to god....I just hate girls.I don’t understand. And am kinda at the point I really never want to.They lie and cheat and steal, hearts and love and trust.I have a feeling that there will always be a reason. A reason why their sorry, you just weren’t quite good enough, that they don’t know why they did that, I was just scared.I’m beginning to feel as though its not real. Nothing is real.Everything that I’ve always believed in, is some figment of my over active, obviously distorted love imagination, that god found for some sense of his complete and utter enjoyment, to place in the minds and hearts of those that actually, just truly, want to know what it is to be loved back, unconditionally.As you watch that all ripped away from under the solidity that you thought you were standing upon which was her heart. By a god that you have always needed to believe was a good god, that have been told is a good god.Being hung by all her beautifully, perfect words and his laughter in the background, that have become the omnipotent strength of the most rossed and floral arranged, serene noose that strangles the last bit of belief and life out of you. As you gag and twitch and fight and fight and fight for one last breath of her to stay alive.Quite funny isn’t it, that god and women hold the same place in a true mans heart.That they are the only two beings in existence that you never will be able to hold nor to touch completely, having to have faith in, just to get close to.I think I may have just lost my faith.Thank you god. Thank you women.I suppose one day, I too will find the humor in all of this.Oh and PS... Fuck you and fuck faith and everything that its supposed to stand for.Sincerely, a broken heart….

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Books:

Ok. So. Just to show there is another side of myself. I posted this. The ultimate truth. No matter what anyone says. Yeah. This is my geeky arse. Haha. See I do smile damnit!! And it is kinda cute if I do say so myself..haha! And to yes Ive been incredably devistated with what I believe love is, should be and the way one should be treated within this, that just hasnt quite been, shall I say, seen eye to eye with, with the handfull of women that Ive chosen to give myself to, however having said that. With out having to pick serrated shards, razored splinters and bloody filamented burning fragmentes of my heart from off of the flaming tar riden asphault that she decided to use all of the strength of GOD to throw it against, I would never understand how it fits back together and Id never be able to be the right man, the right love, the right angel for my one, when she finally does find me. So until then I have to find the humor in everything, hence the below. So after the emotional break down above, trust me just look at the pictures, read the insignia and play the video. Youll smile. Expecially those of you that truely know me....Hehe.
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Heroes:

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My Blog

And so I say im sorry....

And she hit me with a fist of words, and I heard something crack, and the blood that I tasted, I spit back into hers. She wiped from her cheek to her lips with a piece of my heart, and it again began...
Posted by So said the raven on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 12:01:00 PST

That you've ever, ever, ever....

And my mind is an ocean of thunder storms and tidal waves. And I scream for her to hear me.  To save me.  To see me. She said all the little things that make the sun shine.  And th...
Posted by So said the raven on Sat, 19 May 2007 03:19:00 PST

Where it truely is ok to smile....

Its been broken now for bout five years.  So I pretend every day that everything is ok and my hearts fine with smiles and a handshake.  But hey in time, right.  Shell come around when...
Posted by So said the raven on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 12:19:00 PST

And once again....

So I took a walk the other day and went to the bench. Where I have so many a time lain my thought and self.   I've given to her the everything that I thought was something. And she's cried with ...
Posted by So said the raven on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 01:31:00 PST

The black letter....

And the eyes searing inside my soul I went inside my head and became the three that are there and spoke to myself, he and her and then some intangible whisper of the inbetweens filling the moments no ...
Posted by So said the raven on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 06:47:00 PST

Almost as if he is as well....

This morning he arose with a slight tinge of something, he called it.  A slight tinge of something that he couldn't quite explain.  He used the little bit of strength that you awake with wit...
Posted by So said the raven on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:45:00 PST

10....

10. Have you ever done ecstacy? I mean common how can I have sex with my self?? haha
Posted by So said the raven on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 03:24:00 PST

And, PLAY....

Scene one set.  He reads his letter again to the seductive reasoning that is his thought in hopes of one day it may be being understood.... scene set.  up all night cannot sleep from thinki...
Posted by So said the raven on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 01:52:00 PST

The unbearable silent cold....

As I soar just above such beauty, not able to touch. Gently weeping, breath taking over the wind that surrounds his angel of kind simplicities, blowing her hair, black as night, for miles and miles o...
Posted by So said the raven on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:14:00 PST

With out your hand to hold....

I sit here and think of no other. The dawn sets a new morning arises. And still it is only you lying with in my head. My mind races to let go to find a finish. A sunset, a moon rise and face the next...
Posted by So said the raven on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:11:00 PST