Angerman - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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My Interests

Rainy days, lightening storms, old maps of Europe, steam rollers, pile drivers, jack hammers, cement, dirt, voka and prune juice, empty beer cans, jackalopes, cheeseburgers, the Sears catalogue, plastic bags, oil spills, fart sounds, the word 'vomit', making a fist, empty lots, wrecking balls, outer space, ear wax, lawn darts, crow bars, bars, old tires, the dump, old bowling trophies I found at the dump, broken glass, sheet metal, ice cream trucks.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet the one who is in charge of this silly planet.

Music:

Talk radio, Poop Rock.

Movies:

Can't stand them. Can't stand the people who make them, the people who act in them, the people who write them and the people who go to them. I would rather take a poop. I think that just about wraps it up for the movies.

Television:

I threw mine out the window at a cat who woke me up in the middle of the night.

Books:

Drunk Poetry by Ian Strang. This is the greatest book ever written. Check in Angerman's blog.

Heroes:

Heroes? HA! Fat chance.

My Blog

BIG HAT DREAMS

Big, giant, farcical foam cowboy hat,You are a delightTo the human race.You entertain us to no endWith your silly sense of style.Animals could not have foreseenYour comedy potential.They would have si...
Posted by Angerman on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:03:00 PST

RETURN TO RETARDED

I would love to mailRosa the dogBack to wherever she came fromWith a noteTelling whoever is in chargeOf the horrorsThat this particular canineHas wreaked upon usAnd let him or her knowThat they are do...
Posted by Angerman on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:00:00 PST

People I'd Like To Meet

I'd sure like to haveAn in-depth conversationWith the guyWho invented poop.I would brief himOn one or two pointsAbout his product,Such as the smellAnd the textureAnd the overwhelming odorThat nobody c...
Posted by Angerman on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 09:53:00 PST

USELESS ANIMAL

Kitty cat,Kitty cat,Where are you now?Have you been consumedDeliciouslyBy a coyoteOr a wombatOr another wombat?Did they mistake youFor a canOf Spaghettios?And not realizeThat you have been domesticate...
Posted by Angerman on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:44:00 PST

TIME TO GO ALREADY?

Wooly, Wooly Mammoth,Where did you go so suddenly?How did you allow yourselfTo become extinct?Did it become too cold for youUp there nearSanta Claus' house?You seemed appropriately dressed.Your name s...
Posted by Angerman on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:40:00 PST

FRONTIER DAYS

I almost brokeMy girlfriend's dog's backThe other nightBecause I thoughtShe was a horseAnd I tried to put a saddle on herAnd ride her into townTo get some suppliesAnd maybe chat with some of the fella...
Posted by Angerman on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:39:00 PST

PRIMEVAL TIMES

The ancient peoplesOf the worldWho built StonehengeAnd the PyramidsAnd Mount EverestSure have impressed us allWith their feats of strengthAnd their ability to heapGreat big stonesOn top of one another...
Posted by Angerman on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 08:39:00 PST

DAY OF WRECKONING

I hope that my girlfriend's dog, Rosa,Has a heart attack one dayAnd then she goes to see that fictional character JesusAnd begins to crap and shedAll over his fine shag carpet.He will then realizeThe ...
Posted by Angerman on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 08:37:00 PST

THE FINAL SOLUTION

I've decided to write my congressmanAnd try and solve this squirrel problemOnce and for all.It read:"To whom it may concern,I've located Osama bin Laden.He is living in a palm treeJust outside my wind...
Posted by Angerman on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 08:35:00 PST

COPS

Right nowIt is ten o'clock at nightAnd I am drunk,And I was just wonderingWhat would happenIf I climbed up that stupid palm treeAll the way upTo that stupid squirrel's houseAnd I started screaming, "P...
Posted by Angerman on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 12:17:00 PST