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Dave

BANANAS!

About Me

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Ok brief life history. I was born in Africa, my mother was amazing, she could do ANYTHING with a banana.I've travelled all over really. I lost my virginity in China and was branded my the girl with a label which says "made in China" which i'm quite proud of. After China i moved to Taiwan and it was there i met my wife. She was amazing and we had 5 beautiful children together. WE travelled the world and were very happy but then we moved back to Africa to raise the kids and she met a gorilla who she ran off with. Broke my heart. I left four of the children with my parents and headed over to England with the fifth, Harry. We were seperated on the boat and once i got to England i couldn't find him. I wasn't to see him again for 8 long years. Whilst in England i had various casual relationships and sired several more children but things never worked out with their mothers. I was out shopping one day when i decided to take a rest in the window of a shop. I was picked up by a goth gal named Helen and taken home (she thought i was a toy! I soon put her straight)When we got back to her house it turned out she had adopted one of my other sons - Eric. Eric and i started working on rebuilding out relationship but then disaster struck! Eric was left on a bus one day and i was not to see him for another 3 years (when i was in Sydney and found him running his own pornography store - thats my boy!). . . . . . . . . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED COS I'M VERY TIRED NOW AND AM GOING TO BED!

My Interests

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dave Monkee!

    Dave Monkee can sleep for three and a half years.The opposite sides of Dave Monkee always add up to seven.Scientists believe that Dave Monkee began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.Dave Monkee is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees.Dave Monkee is the only bird that can swim but not fly!Dave Monkee is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and Dave Monkee.Research indicates that Dave Monkee will be attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.If you kiss Dave Monkee for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.When provoked, Dave Monkee will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.
I am interested in - do tell me about

Women. Cuddles. Snuggles. Steak. Beer. Calves Liver. Banoffee Pie. Clothes (I like to look good). SAMANTHA BOND!

I'd like to meet:

ANYONE! The more friends the better. I get so bored on my own whilst my gal is out gallivanting. Keep me company!

Music:

I like classical music. The girl i live with is into heavy metal but that just isn't my thing. I listen to classic FM a lot - i guess now i'm showing my age but i'm young at heart. Ooh and i love that "shaking that ass" song that's on the car advert. I'm a very nifty mover, you should see me on the dance floor!

Movies:

Anything with Samantha Bond in it (particularly the Bond movies where she plays moneypenny). Plus i like action and nature films. Oh and most of the old Disneys. And any good comedies, Airplane! being a fav of mine

Television:

Don't get to watch a lot of TV cos my gal hasn't fixed up the aerial. I do like nature programs tho. Ooh and Sex in The City. And THE SIMPSONS!

Books:

Most things, i'm a pretty cultured monkey. I liked the Willy The Wimp series, anyone read them? they were about a feeble gorilla who was trying to pump up to beat some bullies. Great books with lots of pictures!

Heroes:

Me. Oh and my Dad, he lives in Twickenham and has his own car!