Random Facts About Me: I have Bruce Campbell's signiture tattooed on my arm, because I really am that big of a fan. I recently discovered I'm capable of tying a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. Who knew? Mom jokes are a fact of my life. I'm a huge nerd/geek/dork, and I'm very proud of that. Sentences tend to exit my mouth in the form of a word jumble. I'm having an affair with my PS2, and we're very much in love, so you'll have to share. When I was around 5 yrs old a goose bit me in the ass and wouldn't let go. I could spend a whole day watching Jackass/CKY/Viva La Bam. I have a crush on Dante from Devil May Cry. My favorite wrestler is the Undertaker. I have nine piercings and counting, some in very special places. No, you can't see them. I drive a teal Geo Storm, affectionately refered to as my poser-sportscar-death-trap. My favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch w/ the berries. I tend to talk to the television. Yelling and cussing are two of my favorite hobbies. I have a football problem, specificly the Washington Huskies, the Seattle Seahawks, and the Wisconsin Badgers (but only in NCAA '07 for PS2, On Wisconsin!). My improvisational bartending skills are unrivaled. I make near orgasmic noises when I make a kill in Halo. Your momma's a ho and she likes it nasty.
I'd like to meet:
Well, since I've already met the man, the myth, the legend, Bruce "don't call me Ash" Campbell twice...
How about Paul Atreides? Or Ender Wiggin? Or mayhaps your mom?
Music:
I am so, so, SO out of touch with music right now. So, uh support local music! Betty X, Rishloo, Drown Mary, Go Like Hell, Pragmatic, woot!
Movies:
Army of Darkness, Evil Dead I and II, Bubba Ho Tep, Man With The Screaming Brain, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Empire Records, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Full Metal Jacket, Clockwork Orange, Pi, The Secretary, The Nightmare Before Christmas, When Harry Met Sally, Labyrinth, TMNT, Legend, Sin City, Dead Alive, Donnie Darko, Frailty, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Kill Bill I & II
Television:
Invader Zim, Futurama, Brisco County Jr., Family Guy, Red Dwarf, South Park, Farscape, Late Night with Conan O'Brian,
Books:
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
0 my enemy.
Do I terrify?----
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
- Sylvia Plath
Cunt by Inga Muscio, Dune by Frank Herbert, Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brian, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor by Bruce Campell, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, etc, etc...
Heroes:
Mae West, for being a badass, independent, sex positive diva long before sex was even in the common vernacular. F.D.R., for being powerful, smart, well spoken, stubborn, and historic. Kevyn Aucoin, for being beautiful inside and out and helping others to be the same. Inga Muscio, for writing a book that changed my life, and for being a cunt lovin' woman. Mr Mouw, for being the one who both drove me nuts and kept me sane in high school, the old crab ass. My mom, for everything.
