Samantha James

I graduated with a triple-major from Standferd, Hartferd, and Emeyetee. I did my undergrad at Greenviel Elem, Yail and the DMV. Driving skills? I have an SUV for my safety, not yours. Social skills? I don't have more than one drink, but I have perfected the art of pretending I'm drunk (see bull riding picture). I make friends at the bar and dinner at home. Sometimes cookes. I believe shopping fixes everything and that happiness is contagious. I once spent a long summer near a port-a-potty, and if you read my blog you will know why this is unacceptable. When I'm not at work I enjoy spending time with my true love, The Mall. I love my friends because they understand "54321" and the movie Dirty Love. I'm genetically skinny, and I don't apologize for it. I like to eat and I do it a lot. I have too many pairs of high heels and if you ask me how I walk in them I will tell you the truth, I can't walk in flats. I can ride a dirt bike in heels. Double-sided sticky tape does not work, boob jobs do. I'm 100% natural because saline is organic. I have been skydiving twice, yes I got the video. I enjoy camping as long as we check into a hotel every 48 hours. I have a dog that is larger than me, and her name is Gemma. She is named after a girl I knew who did steroids. I have another animal who may be a dog, but its debatable. We named him John because that's not really a dog's name, and we're not really sure he's a dog. Jenn has a video of me lip-syncing Madonna when I was 13. I'll do just about anything to make you laugh, so bring it on.