Kristen G. Warner profile picture

Kristen G. Warner

STRICTLY PLATONIC

About Me

More tit for your tat. You figure it out. AIM-MalevolentMisss

My Interests

CAPS LOCKs, exclamation points!, multiple exclamation points!!!, multiple exclamation points followed by the number one !!!!!!111, LOLs, festiveness, animals, stuffed animals, winning stuffed animals out of crane games at Meijer (loving them all equally), no eating/torturing of the animals, trees are good, carrots are yums, passion is my favorite, love comes in a close second.

I'd like to meet:

The next big thing.

Music:

David Bowie, Tom Waits, Elvis Costello, Goldfrapp, Rilo Kiley, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, EELS, early Clapton, Hem, Queen, Brazilian Girls, Jefferson Airplane, Ingrid Michaelson, Patty Griffin, Bob Dylan, Bright Eyes or Death Cab when I'm feeling nostalgic, Portishead, Prince, Elliott Smith, Jeff Buckley!, Belle and Sebastian, The Smiths, more.

Movies:

PERSEPOLIS, Once, Pan's Labrynth, There Will Be Blood, Factory Girl, Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, Amelie, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Elling, The Big Lebowski, Factotum, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Volver, Resevoir Dogs, All Dogs go to Heaven 1. Oh, and that porn where the guy is invisible.

Television:

Curb Your Entusiasm, The Office, Jeopardy!, House, Conan, Big Love, WEEDS!! (esp. with Mikal), Roseanne, Flight of the Conchords, Top Chef, The Loop, Entourage, don't tell me tv rots my brain its better than sitting around getting high you hippies, and Baseball Tonight.

Books:

David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Sarah Vowell, Leo Tolstoy, Hermann Hesse. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Oh the Glory of It All, The Glass Castle, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Choke, Unhooked, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, Middlesex, Against Love, I love reading but I'm not a dork... even though I don't think those are synonymous outside of highschool........... WHATEV, DON'T MESS.

Heroes:

SURVIVORS... no, not the Holocaust kind (well, maybe them too but..).. more like umm.. this guy: GUTS CONTESTANTS OLD YELLER Phillip Jones oh and maybe like Hellen Keller or something, but mainly people that don't do anything significant or worth being in a book about.

My Blog

THERE ARE MEN TOO GENTLE TO LIVE AMONG WOLVES

"There are men too gentle to live among wolvesWho prey upon them with IBM eyesAnd sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.There are men too gentle for a savage worldWho dream instead of snow a...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 05:46:00 PST

beauty, where you at

I'm in love with the prettiest song I've never heard.And dying to know when I'll hear it.The wind is all kinds of bitter today. Blowing in sparks of malicious mindsets, the darkness intensifies it ten...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:08:00 PST

It has to return

I love this quote:"...A young man with out power or money is completely free. He has nothing, but he also has everything. He can travel, he can drift. He can make new acquaintances every day, and try ...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:20:00 PST

Well hey now, calm down.

Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration, and I think this is where language came from. I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolati...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Fri, 21 Sep 2007 05:37:00 PST

WHEN IS THE REVOLUTION?

You say you want a revolution?Why not now?  Why not me?Today was long. Endless. Demand after demand, nothing exciting to behold. I found myself being asked the same question over and over. "How a...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 05:24:00 PST

some nights

"Some nights I wonder why we're put hereSome nights I fight back tears and don't know whySad eyes and smiling mouthwhy, they are so confusingThose who know are too scared too showand the rest don't re...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 10:37:00 PST

MY BEST KEPT SECRET

HOW TO BEAT LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE OF COURSE!!!!!!!1111111FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS:IT'S EASY, HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT:ROOM 1: The Room of the Three GargoylesYou need to press the tongues of...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Thu, 24 May 2007 09:20:00 PST

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR MAN

1) The Basics His age:Forty-three. His Birthday: April 20th. How long have you been together:  About 3 weeks. How Long did you know each other before you got together? Before we banged? Abo...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 07:38:00 PST

REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

Today I woke up and I had hair all in my faceit was very unpleasant. So my first thought wasbut then I looked at my hand and realized... wowand it worked perfect. and so I got to thinking how great of...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 06:25:00 PST

LEARN A LOT ABOUT ME!!!!!!! ONLINE!!!!!!!!1 WOWOWWOWOWOW

What is your salad dressing of choice? I don't like salad dressing. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? I don't like fast food restaurants. What is your favorite sit down restaurant? I don't...
Posted by Kristen G. Warner on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 09:29:00 PST