Shake Hands with a Slamming Door

About Me

Hey, did you notice that my profile doesn't have a song? Neither should yours! No one wants to listen to your stupid music.
I am a writer for Roadburn.com, the internet's finest Rock n' Roll website. Go there; see, do, LEARN
"In both theocracy and genuine democracy there is an overriding concern with personal freedom, for neither personal nor political liberty will last long when inappropriate appetites go unchecked in displays of disregard for people and their property" - Neal A. Maxwell
There was a time when I didn't have pit stains on all my shirts, but about 3 months ago they started pooping up. What gives?
Did you notice I just typed "pooping up"? Best.Typo.Ever
"I'm not looking for so-and-so's opinion, not even my own opinion. I just want to know what the truth is... that's what I'm looking for. In my opinion, there's no way God looks at things from 14 different angles. I see God as knowing only one truth, and that's it." - Jack White
Girls are hottest in the following sequntial order by hair color: Red Black Brown Blonde. This is the truth.
I'm going to change the world. So, yeah, keep an eye out for that.
I used to play drums, but I seem to have lost track of where they could be. Ain't that somethin'?
Vinyl records are totally sweet. I don't collect vinyls just to collect them (like a lot of weirdo's do), I listen to them and stare at the artwork.
See, it works like this:
Singal Break Turn
IT'S NOT: Break Signal Turn
The purpose of a turn signal is to alert the drivers behind you that you will be breaking momentarily to decelerate making a safe turn possible.
I sometimes wonder if I'm alive in the wrong era of time. Like, somewhere in the 50's, the space time continuum had a hiccup which led to my birth 30 years too late.
It's interesting to click around on Myspace and see how people choose to present themselves.
If you walk around with one of these (or likeness thereof):
you are a tool. There's no way around it. You are a fag and are in dire need of a reality check.
Oh, and by the way; If your picture profile has any pictures of you posing with your drink they need to be immediatley deleted. Posing with your drink is lame.

My Interests

Pretending I don't hear people talking to me - My wife - Pretending I don't hear my wife talking to me - My son - Hating the cold of winter - Hating the scourge of summer - Always getting what I want - G-Force Gold - Spacing out - Wishing I had a better stereo - Looking at stuff - Hating old people - Keeping a thorough dream journal - Eavesdropping - Free WiFi at the Library - Piecing together the workings of reality - Taking photographs with the Shutter Speed/Aperture settings all jacked up - Always misplacing my cell phone - Always misplacing my glasses...

Yes, please.
I'm learning how to be a good parent!
I stand corrected in the following ways:

Don't judge me.

I'd like to meet:

The creative forces behind this epic:

Music:

Various albums that don't suck

Movies:

Off the top of my head: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels... The Graduate... O Brother, where art thou?... Dr. Strangelove... The Abyss... Ghostbusters... Three Amigos... Judgement at Nuremburg... The Usual Suspects... Easy Rider... The Hunt for Red October... Fargo... Tremors... Throw Mamma from the Train... Beetlejuice... Awakenings... Back to the Future trilogy.. This is Spinal Tap... Blair Witch Project... Contact... What about Bob?... 12 Angry Men...

Television:

3 zillion stations and everytime I change the channel it's a commercial - No thanks. I've lost the patience for television.

Heroes:

"Hi, I could send you to jail for life just for sneezing without covering your mouth"
"Hi, if you look up 'The Most Underrated Band in the Underrated History of Underrated Bands' in the dictionary you'll see our picture."
"Hi, I don't need pistols, I could kill you just by looking into your eyes"
"Hi, you know all your favorite bands? Yeah, they wouldn't exist if it weren't for me. I am basically the beginning of everything."
"Hi, my ability to think outside the box has led me to compose some of the most mind blowing music ever... EVER!!
"Hi, I'm a handsome canuck that composes music better than any screwball solo artist you know"
"Hi, my mental capacities and superior intellect can jolt you into a coma for, like, 50 million bazillion years. "
"Hi, it is beyond humanoid comprehension how awesome we were. To deny our awesomeness is to deny the very existance of the universe."
"Hi, I'm just flat-out better than you"

My Blog

Fatherhood - Lessons learned from the 1st week

Here's a comprehensive list of thing's I've learnt during this first week of fatherhood. As time passes more lists may or may not follow, but here's where it stands now:- It's been a week already?- "...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:50:00 PST

Clutch is losing their edge

I'm not one to rant because there's more productive things that demand my (and yours, hopefully) attention. However, let's get right to the matter.Robot Hive... was boring and uninspired. My brain tie...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:56:00 PST

The Greatest Dialog in a Movie... ever.

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? Colonel Sandurz: Now. You're looking at now sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now. Dark Helmet: Wh...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 06:24:00 PST

Hunter S. Thompson faked his death - A theory

A little over 12 hours ago the world cought whiff that the great Hunter S. Thompson, voice of the 60's counterculture, founder of gonzo journalism, author of many novels, contributor to countless publ...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

LOUD! appreciation blog

This blog and the Sons Of Otis example that follows it were originally written as an editorial for Roadburn.com. But, for reasons beyond my control it was never posted. So, here it is. Dig it. -------...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:27:00 PST

LOUD! Sons of Otis example

Sons of Otis - "Super Typhoon", Templeball Unlike its distant relative on their 1st release of SpaceJumboFudge, Sons Of Otis improved the quality of this version of "Super Typhoon" by making...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:19:00 PST

Seperated at birth?

Will Ferrell Red Hot Chilli Peppers drummer Chad Smith I'd say so......
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Ohio weather....

Is it pretty safe to assume that everyone in the region of NE Ohio is sick of this? Now, I'm not bitching and moaning about the fact that it's cold or there's snow on the ground. No. What I'm sick of ...
Posted by Shake Hands with a Slamming Door on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST