The Vampire Dame in-training profile picture

The Vampire Dame in-training

It's a free lunch boys! Come and get it.

About Me

In my down time, I like to date 600-year-old Hutt crime lords and gangsters who employ a retinue of criminals, bounty hunters, smugglers, assassins, and bodyguards to collect debts, deal illicit drugs, and operate criminal empires in general.

My Interests

All things "tarded". The Goon, stalking Eric Powell since 2004 (you're next, Albatross!) Interrogating and torturing South American Iguanas attempting to get them to speak Spanish (I wholeheartedly apologize to the little boy who dressed up like a lizard last halloween.)

I'd like to meet:

Peaches Valentine or anyone else with 10 inches. A real 10 inches, not what my husband claims is 10 inches.

Music:

Tenacious DD's. Knockers, I mean knock off's to the greatest band in the world, Tenacious D.

Movies:

Anything with lots of sex and gore. For examples, movies like The Sandlot (um, I love little boys that can score a home run), Doctor Poolittle, The Sound of Music in Bed, and Shitty Shitty Bang Bang (especially the "Bang Bang" part)

Television:

I break into Eric Powell's studio apartment to watch whatever is on his Tivo while he is off at comic book conventions.

Books:

Anything with pictures, especially pop-up books, back of alcoholic beverage containers and pregnancy test boxes.

Heroes:

The Diddler, Eric Powell and Dwight Albatross' kidneys for working so hard to keep him alive. The man who invented a battery operated sexual devices(p.s. Norm aka The Diddler takes credit for this.) My gynecologist, Doctor Zaius for always monkeying around with my box.