M.C. Kenzie profile picture

M.C. Kenzie

I saw a sign outside the theater with 7 X's. Girls without skin is all i could come up with

About Me

I'm a pretty lame girl. I like to play backgammon. I don't know how to play chess. I love band-aid tins. I've recently become obsessed with decorating cakes. I can make icing roses like nobody's business...so seriously, mind your own business! I love cute purses. I could sit at the coffee shop with a book all day. My kids are cuter than Sara's. I've taken up riding a longboard in a feeble attempt to make my son think I'm cool but he doesn't. I have twins who's names don't rhyme. The kids and I can build a pretty mean fort. I brake for lemonade stands. I have a '63 VW bug that I have good intentions of restoring but rarely touch it. I'm a procrastinator. I always honk and wave at people pulling out of the adult novelty store so they'll worry that it was a family member, neighbor, or even better, their church bishop. I can pull the ugliest faces you've ever seen. I'm a member of a few bands that don't really exist. I could make fun of people all day. I have a pug who dances and snorts like a pig. I love Dray. Our family rocks.

My Interests

Hmmmmmm, stuff mostly. I heart stuff. Anything gnarly really. Stuff thats awesome is gnarly.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who pegs their pants or plays the keytar. Also people who will let me pinch their knees to see if they're boy crazy.

Music:

Soft hits from the 80's and 90's

Movies:

Spinal Tap, Office Space, Weird Science, The Jerk, Goonies, Cry Baby, Mystery Men, Stand By Me, 16 Candles, Raising Arizona, Best In Show, Shaun of the Dead

Television:

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.-Cliff Claven

Books:

Sadly cake decorating books, Geek Love, Catcher in the Rye, The VC Andrews incest series, Bukowski, So You've Decided to Steal Cable.

Heroes:

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

My Blog

The power of advertising.

My son, Elias, was watching infomercials the other day. He is sold on the fact that we can't live without a Little Giant ladder. I asked him why he would want a ladder and he looked at me like I'm ret...
Posted by M.C. Kenzie on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:29:00 PST

I need more ambien

So last night I couldn't get my brain to shut up resulting in a nice bout of insomnia. I watched about 560 episodes of  "I love the 70's/80's" which I secretly love and I'll tell you why in three...
Posted by M.C. Kenzie on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 08:42:00 PST

Me + Gwar 4ever

So Dray and I went to the Gwar show last night, got soaked in faux bodily fluids and had fun galore. I just can't stand it though when whatever band you're seeing works the name of your city into a so...
Posted by M.C. Kenzie on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 03:16:00 PST

A day no pigs would die

Recently I was reminiscing with a friend about a book I was required to read back in school entitled A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck. The following is an excerpt from his literary maste...
Posted by M.C. Kenzie on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:15:00 PST