hollyanne assassin profile picture

hollyanne assassin

paint the inside of my eyelids bright

About Me

:: hollyannehopes ::
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
Raymond Carver
we are all a bunch of liars tell me baby who do you want to be
Chances are, i think you are beautiful and i love you. there's something that i see in you, be it on the surface or buried deep, that i admire and adore. there's just something about you. i can't put my finger on it. i can't lose track of it. and chances are that i hope you'll love me back. your eyes will find something in me that is worth knowing and uncovering. there's something about you i want to incorporate in myself. and some day i'll encapsule it in writing in the most ambiguous of circumstances and you'll never know it's about you, but it will be there in ink on pages of some book on some shelf and when someone begins to read it they won't be uncovering me. they'll be discovering you.
i'm doing something with my life. i've got big dreams and the ability to make them come true. i'm versatile. i'm interesting. cruel and kind all in one package, but i will make your sides hurt from laughing. right now i'm living in elizabeth and interning at eyeball records. best experience of my life.
DEAR BANDS LURKING MY PROFILE: I will help your band out in any way I can if you message me. This includes (but isn't limited to): trying to help you find a place to play, a place to sleep, hooking you up with a little something to eat, promoting, etc. <Note; booking is totally up to you, I'll just throw the list of places and contact info I've got your way. It's up to you to make it happen.> The only things I ask of you are messages in my inbox, and you being sweet (you get what you give). I will give you a listen and I will honestly tell you what I think of you.

My Interests

writing, reading, music, shows, music industry, books, sand castles, unicorns, carebears, aliens, paranormal, haunted places, record labels, zines, bubbles, creativity, straight edge, venganism, animals, activism, not wasting my fucking life.

I'd like to meet:


the person who makes the next 'the shed'

passionate people. someone who can blow a bubble bigger than me. anyone who will introduce me to new music, literature and art. someone who will hold my hand.

someone to help open my eyes. sometimes i don't realize they're closed.

i miss my fag

Music:

blindside, thursday, senses fail, showbread, mewithoutYou, honkey dorey, skarmy of darkness, sullivan, the classic crime, the number 12 looks like you, straylight run, my chemical romance, the know how, the ska band, wolf colonel / jason anderson, anything ever at the shed

Movies:

star wars. shitty sci fi. friday the 13th. nightmare on elm street. crappy horror films. asian gore flicks.

Television:

i hate television so i don't really watch it. law and order, special victims unit, criminal intent, queer as folk, roswell. the history channel. discovery. scifi. court tv.

Books:

bukowski. orwell. c rice. bradbury. carver. c s lewis. j r r tolkein. j porter. joyce. cheever. the spinal cord perception. 1984. Brave New World. the Martian Chronicles. Anthem. We. Lord of the Rings. A Density of Souls.

Heroes:

people who are afraid to change the world but try to anyway.

My Blog

lately i’ve been inclined to write poetry

it's 1:00 in the morning;i hear my father rise from his bed;tip-toedown the stairs andexitthrough the kitchen.cigarette smokecurls throughmywindow.he coughs a few timesas hegrumblesincomprehensibly.th...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 08:58:00 PST

"i dont care because it's 8 in the morning and i'm drinking vodka" - my chem last weekend

kristin is a drunk. she wakes up still drunk from the night before & i make her drive because it's funny. we found a bottle of sprite full of vodka that her boyfriend had been drinking the night...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:27:00 PST

154AM the tale of a house mouse

a baby mouse is squeaking in a corner some song i've never heard but it opens my eyes and ears to a never ending timeline and i'm just one little dot. and he's just one little dot. we're just dots tog...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 10:55:00 PST

monday october 30th in this closet

dear world, i am unstoppable. i feel really good about today. even if last week was one of the most terrible pieces of shit ever: i. feel. good. about. today. i hate people. i hate jobs. i hate schoo...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 08:47:00 PST

this doesn't have a title or anything but i'm really proud of it

I stood looking at the deep blue sky, blinking slowly and infrequently. Searching. Look as they may, my eyes could not find what they were so desperately trying for. That magnificent presence that def...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 04:52:00 PST

my tongue can never dress in words that my flame is true

Confusions the color of the moment & oh how it does make your chest clench tight. A few more breathes and a few more tries. Maybe youll get it right. Big hopes and big dreams dont make for big...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Thu, 12 Jan 2006 10:32:00 PST

these are the unnecessary fears of someone who just can't grow up

apparently my parents have been drinking beer while i've not been home. now i realize this is like normal and all for everyone else's parents.it's not that big of a deal.but i'm trying not to spazz ou...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Sun, 11 Dec 2005 09:49:00 PST

this world has weakened my heart

``oh no, oh no,`` he says. ``don't relapse.`` try to relax. speak clearly enough for the microphone to pick it up. words just slip and i'm not paying attention to the stutters or the pauses. imperfect...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Thu, 08 Dec 2005 07:44:00 PST

[ photographs ] hide & seek, trains & sewing machines, you won't catch me around here

...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Sun, 27 Nov 2005 03:56:00 PST

last night i left my friend on a desolate road in oakham

this scanner at home sucks & the color quality is horrible so more when i'm back at school & have one worth using. but onwards to the real point: somesadstorytold (2:56:32 PM): MY tAMAGOT...
Posted by hollyanne assassin on Mon, 21 Nov 2005 12:30:00 PST