Hello, stranger.
My name is Ben
and this here is my friend and associate, Brian.
It is a pleasure to meet you, let's all shake hands.
Please, take a seat:
Nice and comfortable? Good!
We're here today to tell you about Lindsey Acres Films, our little "production company." Right now, you are sitting in our "studio," the room in which we do all of our thinking, arguing, writing, editing, and drugs. Keeping our eyes and ears open to the world around us provides us with our inspiration.
Film is our passion, we put lots of time, effort, and money into it. The good news is that we are 17 year old suburbanites in upper-middle class neighborhoods, and we can afford nice equipment such as cameras, tripods, microphones, editing software, tapes, and hookers.
The bad news is that we don't live in L.A. or N.Y.C., so finding a cast of actors or independant film aficionados is difficult.
Until we find an interested and moneyed investor, we keep the costs of our films low by relying on pure creativity.
If you are interested in joining up with us to make a film, either as an actor or otherwise, please let us know. If you know someone in the industry that could help us get an advantage, hook us up! You will reap the rewards.
Film is one of the few mediums that is composed of a medley of art forms.
A filmmaker must have eyes of a photographer, capable of composing a frame, visualizing colors, having a keen sense of aesthetics. A filmmaker must have ears of a musician, scoring his film with music that effectively enhances its mood or message. A filmmaker must have a writer's understanding of communication and the dynamics of storytelling.
The director weaves these components together to create a motion picture; a piece of art that you can watch and listen to.
Okay, now that youve heard a romanticized monologue, hopefully youll recognize our legitimacy.
Brian and I have made 3 films together this year, one of which took first place at the 1st annual Bishop Feehan Film Festival.
We just finished our docu-short Courtesy of Fiesta Shows and have entered it into several festivals. It is available now for a mere 5 dollars a copy. (The trailer is at the head of the page)
We are currently in pre-production for "The Two Men of Verona" (working title) about the relationship between an off-kilter child abductor and his victim. Were shooting to have it out by November.
Anyways, stop reading all this. We have prepared a short clip to demonstrate what we are all about:
CLIP CLIP
You look impressed. That's because you should be
Lindsey Acres Films is looking to expand. Here are some tips regarding how you can help:
-Tell your friends about us and have them tell their friends.
-Tell your parents and have them tell their extramarital lovers.
-Tell your grandma and have her tell that picture of grandpa she always talks to.
We both want to pursue film in college and hopefully as a profession. In actuality, our degrees probably won't contribute to our professional lives at all, maybe we will land a job at a video rental store or something.
After all, film school is costly, and chances of making good money off it are slim.
If, in 15 years, you walk by and see either one of us crumpled in a gutter, clutching a cracked bottle of cheap whiskey, please flip us a quarter. It'll make our day!Okay, thanks for listening!
Dont overstay your welcome, you can fuck off now!
Don't hesitate to contact us with love or hate. We are always in need of talented actors and actresses.
If you have any original ideas you think would be cool to see in a film, let us know. Our minds are always open. We may ridicule your idea to your face, but we will probably steal it later on so we can take the credit for it.
