Dan O.P.P. profile picture

Dan O.P.P.

I hate my great great great great great great grandfather. He's dead to me.

About Me

I have been known to write for a little website called Points in Case . I suggest you check it out.
I grew up in Hudson, Mass, a suburban town with sound public schools and stable family life. I didn't want my kids to grow up that way, so I skipped town at 18. I'll be damned if I continue the cycle of holding down a good job and putting my kids through college. The very thought nauseates me.
Likes
Uncontrollable laughter
The smell of a wood stove on a cold day
Shock value
Competition
Any form of athletics
Trying new things
Visiting new places
Panoramic views
Hearing a sick ass song for the first time
BK Rodeo Cheeseburgers
New England
Natural rushes
A hard rap beat
The unmapped journey of life
Dislikes
Traffic
Oversensitivity
Close-mindedness
Selfishness
Fear of change
Unfunny comedians
Parents at youth sports games
When good songs get overplayed
The dead of winter
When the gas pump is broken such that it stops pumping every half gallon
The ear sweat that remains on my cell phone after a call
Those lists will be ever expanding
Comedians Who Tickle My Naughty Bits
Brian Regan
Mitch Hedberg
Dwayne Perkins
Dave Attell
Nick Swardson
Steven Wright
KT Tatara
Demetri Martin
Greg Giraldo
Brian Posehn

My Interests

comedy, sports, poker, drinking beer in excess, drinking beer with INXS, auto-erotic asphyxiation, making inappropriate jokes about dead singers

I'd like to meet:

People who like to laugh, orgasm, or vomit. I can be the catalyst for all three of these things.

Music:

I'm constantly trying to broaden my musical horizons. I like everything from rap and hip hop to classic rock from the '60 and '70s. I don't limit myself to genres. A good song is a good song. My favorite bands include, but are not limited to: 311, Sublime, Beastie Boys, Incubus, The Who, Weezer, Tom Petty, The Grateful Dead, etc.

Movies:

40 Year Old Virgin, Waiting, Office Space, Dodgeball, Team America, Dumb and Dumber, Meet the Parents, Freak Talks About Sex, Road Trip, Euro Trip, Not Another Teen Movie, Matrix 1 and 2, Equilibrium, Donnie Darko, Memento, A Clockwork Orange, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Super Troopers, Old School, Anchorman

Television:

stand-up comedy, Family Guy, American Dad, Entourage, Chappelle Show, South Park, ESPN, Real Time w/ Bill Maher, Lucky Louie, Dog Bites Man, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, Next (Hey, we're not here to judge.)

Books:

1984, Animal Farm, Brave New World, Of Mice and Men, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Fahrenheit 451, Harrington on Hold'em

Heroes:

The people who designed the 1998 Ford Ranger. If they had half-assed it, I might not be here today. For serious.

My Blog

Stupid Questions Only Girls Ask

Written by Dan Opp   Girls ask stupid questions. Not stupid like, "If I swallow it, will a baby grow in my stomach?" although the dumb ones have been known to seek clarification. I mean stupid ...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:50:00 PST

End Segregation Once and For All

Written by Dan OppTo the casual observer, modern society must seem a wonderland of harmony and equality. Flip through any college brochure and it's plain to see: hearing-impaired white women love stud...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 11:18:00 PST

My Greatest "That's What She Said" Moment

Written by Dan Opp   Before you read any further, please read the blog that inspired this.   Kid is fucking funny and he's only 17. When I was 17, I still laughed at the word 'poopy'. Si...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 06:27:00 PST

Getting Wasted

Written by Dan Opp   - If you start out a night of drinking saying, "I'm gonna get wasted," you will.   - If you start out a night of drinking saying, "I'm gonna take it easy tonight," ...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 06:29:00 PST

Light Bulb Jokes You've Never Heard

Written by Dan Opp   How many lazy roommates does it to take to put in a light bulb? Apparently more than two.   How many blind men does it take to put in a light bulb? Just one, as ...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 11:14:00 PST

Chewing Out the Fat of America

Written by Dan Opp   All this talk of a so-called "obesity epidemic" is getting out of hand. Fat is not contagious. It's not like 50 million Americans woke up one day to find rings of lard had ...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Sat, 26 Aug 2006 08:37:00 PST

Make Your Own Insult

Written by Dan Opp   I spent a few minutes the other day perusing the world's most comprehensive resource for crude insults or, as it's more commonly known, Points in Case reader feedback. Most...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 09:57:00 PST

That Doesn't Make Me Gay

Written by Dan OppIt's not gay if I shower with a loofa.   It's not gay if I like figure skating.   It's not gay if I slept in the same bed as another man.   It's not gay if I spo...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 11:08:00 PST

Garbage Time

Written by Dan OppSome random thoughts and observations littering my mind as I recuperate from a long weekend that involved three cities, three ballparks, and more beer and hot dogs than one human bei...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:51:00 PST

Dan Opp Foils Terrorist Plot

Written by Dan Opp   NEW HAVEN - Armed with nothing more than a keyboard and a desire to control people with fear, Dan Opp single-handedly undermined a terrorist plot to destroy a beloved symb...
Posted by Dan O.P.P. on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 08:10:00 PST