Xavier - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Xavier Lopez-Yu is a vicious, domineering he-bitch of indomitable political will who aspires to succour Jessica Zafra, the predestined universal potentate, in executing her grand scheme of universal subjugation. Political warlord and former Ilocos Sur governor Chavit Singson and sugal lord Bong Pineda, as well as the former Singaporean premier, Lee Kuan Yew, are counted among his personal heroes. Among his myriad of astounding characteristics are his uncanny Macchiavellianesque corruption, which is coupled with a sense of nationalism and patriotic unity, and his nearly- medical expertise with internal organs (mainly livers, kidneys and intestines) which is the result of prolonged exposure to "exotic" ihaw-ihaw stalls along the financially-depressed areas of MetroManila.He and his former mistron, Eric John Galvez Paredes, who, by the way, is a freshman at Yale University, plan to bring in a new era of Philippine government to replace the incumbent and incompetent democratic administration with an Imeldific, magnanimous tyranny.He is that good.He also is the Messiah reborn.

My Interests

Politics, the waxing of civilisation, universal subjugation, and fashion. Oh yeah, drinking, too--though I won't ever get drunk off my arse again.

I'd like to meet:

**Does Andrea Casiraghi count, by the way? How about that one other person, Aleandrowhatitschuva?**1) Kahit sino basta hindi siya chaka o 'di kaya'y kakat--mataas ang aesthetic sensibilities ng lola niyo.2) Kahit sinong mayaman basta hindi lumalabag sa unang patakaran.3) Kahit sinong matalino basta hindi lumalabag sa unang dalawang patakaran.4) Kahit sinong makakapaglaban ng inuman sa akin. Hindi kinakailangang sundin ang unang tatlong patakaran kung gayon.5) Kahit sino basta hindi mala-"Valley Girl" ang pagkilos at pag-iisip (read: dapat sentient being).

Music:

"pamela one, igalaw ang katawan | pamela two, kumembot ng ganito | pamela three, parang kinikiliti.."

Movies:

Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Nightmare Before Christmas.

Television:

Ali G, South Park, Invader Zim, Sponge Bob, Samurai Jack, Discovery Channel Travel and Adventure shows, and anything with Steve Irwin.

Books:

Hardy Drew & the Nancy Boys: The Mystery of the Atenean Boy-Drought, Mere Christianity, Leviathan, the Twisted series, Clive Barker's Abarat, Satanic Verses, Spartacus, Crime and Punisment, and Lagim Komiks.

Heroes:

Aside from the aforementioned three, I'd say Pope Alexander VI, his son, Cesare Borgia, and Alan Greenspan for being a nerd who's come to power. And also Jesus Christ for fooling a third of the world that he exists. :p Holy shit, I have a feeling he'll bitchslap me right down to the fiery depths of hell any second now.

My Blog

star of wonder, star of might, star of glorious beauty bright

As I sit here and type with a cigarette between my lips and a bottle of beer in my hand, trying to remember the event most important to me, the event which has contributed more than any other in defin...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

No Parking: futher proof for the theory of man's peculiar ability.

Being that of shifting to utter stupidity all the while being inherently intelligent. Let's start with what happened. Early this morning (actually around 11.30 or so ..heh), in Church, there was thi...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

MONDEX chips and other chuva

Bah. Conspiracy theories, the concept of hookery, and Filipina maids as harbingers of world domination are on my mind. Which is why itech ang ating pag-uusapan. Charing. Anyway, my imaginary au...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

poems about love (a.k.a. i pity the fool who talks about love)

A drear sight for poets and humanity at large. It has unfortunately come to my attention that given the venue of the Internet, such god-awful mediocrity, particularly half-arsed poems about love, h...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

isa sa mga batang pulubi sa may katipunan

nakaupo, naglalaro ng barya. iniitsa pataas habang dinadaanan ng mga paa. tatayo, nakayuko nawawala ang isang mata papalapit nang nakabuka ang palad. "Kuya, pahingi ng barya", aniya. "Aa...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

And aside from being subject to eternal punishment...

DisorderRatingParanoid:HighSchizoid:ModerateSchizotypal:Mode rateAntisocial:HighBorderline:LowHistrionic:HighNarcissistic :Very HighAvoidant:LowDependent:LowObsessive-Compulsive:Moderate-- Personality D...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

the vengeful hand of god has bitchslapped me down to the fiery depths of hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

let's try bitchin' about how much all of this sucks, shan't we?

Okiedokie. Now if any of you, my imaginary audience, have ever gone to somethingawful.com, you must then know about the intense dislike the goons over there have for what they call to be the "bane of ...
Posted by Xavier on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST