HOLY CRAP, IT'S ROBERT!!! profile picture

HOLY CRAP, IT'S ROBERT!!!

Twice the man you need, all the man you want.

About Me

apparently, my original posting here was too "down on myself". it was, according to friends who read it and got back to me, a little too reflective of my highly self-critical bias. so here's a more objective entry about myself:i have 6 arms, blue skin, and i breathe hot fire. i play the jug. i believe the Simpsons, good cheese, white russians, rock and roll, and your lady are all things worth dying for. i am the greatest mosquito slayer in the history of the galaxy.that is all for now.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Robert "El Macho Grande" Maxwell
Birthday: 10-26-1977
Birthplace: the backseat of a greyhound bus, going down highway 41
Current Location: i can't say. They're looking for me.
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: dark brown
Height: 5 foot 6. And a half.
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: spanish/cuban
The Shoes You Wore Today: my pumas
Your Weakness: FUDGE! LOL!
Your Fears: strangely enough, fudge.
Your Perfect Pizza: i like sauage and onions
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: getting back into acting
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: yo
Thoughts First Waking Up: why is there always construction outside my window?
Your Best Physical Feature: my strict adherance to newton's third law of motion.
Your Bedtime: usually about 2am
Your Most Missed Memory: playing music with my brother
Pepsi or Coke: in a fight to the death? coke. pepsi is too wild and reckless. coke is disciplined and focused. it's no contest.
MacDonalds or Burger King: how about a cleveland steamer instead?
Single or Group Dates: single.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: uh, lipton i guess. who cares?
Chocolate or Vanilla: *sigh* vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee.
Do you Smoke: when i'm on fire.
Do you Swear: fuck no. well, actually yes.
Do you Sing: i'll never talk, pig!
Do you Shower Daily: do you, skidmark?
Have you Been in Love: unfortunately. no, i'm not bitter. next question.
Do you want to go to College: i think i want to take some classes again.
Do you want to get Married: to who?
Do you believe in yourself: no. wait... yes.
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes.
Do you think you are Attractive: if you look directly at me, you might go blind. but that's because i'm highly reflective.
Are you a Health Freak: i drink my own urine.
Do you get along with your Parents: well dad's pushing up daisies, and mom and i get along just fine.
Do you like Thunderstorms: love them. i like lightning better, though.
Do you play an Instrument: a few.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: haha! fuck, yeah! woooo! *vomits*
In the past month have you Smoked: cigarretes, yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: i sucked freon out of a rusty air conditioner.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes! with real girls! hot damn!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: in one sitting? jesus, no. never.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes.
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes.
In the past month have you been Dumped: not in the past month. i'm on a roll.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: hold on... yes.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: the hearts of ladies everywhere.
Ever been Drunk: lord, yes. i was drunk earlier tonight.
Ever been called a Tease: yes.
Ever been Beaten up: the third graders beat me up and gave me a swirlie once, but they haven't bothered me for a couple of weeks.
Ever Shoplifted: it's how i got this computer.
How do you want to Die: i'd like to explode suddenly and without warning, leaving everyone around me covered in my blood and entrails. man, that'd be cool.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a unicorn!
What country would you most like to Visit: india, i beleive. or australia. new zealand is cool too.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: green.
Favourite Hair Color: blondish or light brown.
Short or Long Hair: depends on the girl. usually long. something to pull on during intimate encounters.
Height: well, i'd prefer her not to dwarf my short ass.
Weight: just not obese. really, it's more about how the girl carries herself.
Best Clothing Style: i don't know. something hip and cute. a little punk.
Number of Drugs I have taken: uh... including coffee and cigarretes... 10.
Number of CDs I own: somewhere around 300.
Number of Piercings: none.
Number of Tattoos: none, but i'm going to get one.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: let's just say i've done a lot of stupid things. my credit ain't too good, and i got this damn rash...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!I am 28% Idiot.
.. I ain't too bright. But all those other idiots annoy the hell out of me. I may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but at least I know my limits. Take the
Idiot Test
@ FualiDotCom
go edit your profile with this thing here !
Free Myspace Cursors

My Interests

i like to rock out on my ax. also, i go hike in the canyons with my dog whenever i can. whenever i can't do either of those things, i like to watch a really bad movie with friends and get MST3K on it's ass.

I'd like to meet:

steve martin, bill clinton, thom yorke, jack black, willie nelson (check!), johnny depp, george bush sr. and jr., zack de la rocha, my great grandparents, dave chappele, george carlin, tibor fischer, stephen king, edward albee, ryan styles, dane cook, bill hicks, edward albee

Music:

the who, phish, the foo fighters, kula shaker, radiohead, rancid, the beatles ("with an 'a'"), the black crowes, boston, black star, a tribe called quest, beck, muse, sputnik monroe, the datsuns, pink floyd...

Movies:

cool hand luke, fight club, vertigo, the silence of the lambs, half baked, the aristocrats, pee wee's big adventure, anything by david lynch, the vengeance trilogy by park chan wook, 2001: a space odyssey, waking life, and animated stuff like don hertzfeldt's rejected, pi, lost highway... i've decided to plut up clips every week of movies that i like. this week i've paired two movies that were always meant for one another: "for a fistful of dollars" and "the rocky horror picture show".. width="425" height="350" ..

Television:

cheers, seinfeld, homicide: life on the street, twin peaks, wondershowzen, trigun, robot chicken, the sopranos, rome, the twilight zone, star trek, the young ones, sctv, cowboy bebop, the kids in the hall, monty python, FLCL, all in the family, CARNIVALE... i've decided to put up clips every so often of shows that i like. this week, it's the opening credits of carnivale. it's a great sequence, befitting a great show...

Books:

the dark tower series by stephen king, "the thought gang" by tibor fischer, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" by douglas adams, "hyperspace" by michio kaku, "one flew over the cukoos nest" by ken kesey, "v for vendetta" and "the watchmen" by alan moore, "the sandman" series by Neil Gaiman, anything by Frank Miller, anything by my man hunter s. thompson...anything by arthur c. clarke, anything by edward albee

Heroes:

steve martin, teddy roosevelt, hunter s. thompson, bill hicks, and, of course, bugs bunny..... width="425" height="350".. width="425" height="350"

My Blog

my one and only myspace blog post...

so, i'll never blog here since apparently rupert murdoch and news corp. (how orwellian does that name sound) own every bit of uncopyrighted material that people post on this site.  if you really ...
Posted by HOLY CRAP, IT'S ROBERT!!! on Fri, 26 May 2006 03:55:00 PST