THE HAPPY STONER!

(Please don't ask me for weed!!!)I believe brotherhood and peace comes from education and cooperation.I believe our government lies to us about most everything and most of us don’t trust our own leaders and that the court system is more about wining and losing rather than right and wrong, and our corporations are creating a imperialist society with the help of today’s leaders and visa versa. I believe that the violence Sony, Capital and other huge record companies peddle to our kids, the crap programming on our boob tube like Jerry Springer and Real Home videos is the reason violent crime is the highest it is in 18 years. In the last 25 years or so everything has changed from a social standpoint. Capitalism and greed has taken completely over. We need bigger, we want more toys, and we make up stupid sayings like “who ever has the most toys wins” and “playa hater”. I got you’re news right here….Who ever has the most friends close by at the end wins.A few hundred years ago Native Americans roamed the Great Plains as hunters and gatherers. Settlements and homes did not exist here. Land ownership did not exist, yet everyone had everything they needed. Today every person in every other country hates and or resents us. We have a cowboy as a leader that brought us to war when every other world leader was told you’re with us or against us. Our government says we are safer but we are less safe and more hated than ever. Than our people re-elected him. And he cheated the first time. This stuff is more important than pot, but all awhile that is happening, this same government is fighting another war. A war against sick people who use weed to feel better and have a higher quality of life.When the people have an initiative they can vote on in an official election about medical marijuana and they vote to have it. It is wrong for our government to tell us we can’t and the court system can go FUCK itself. And so can George Bush who don’t care about whose kids die today. He avoided the war while his last opponent reenlisted 30 plus years ago, than Bush’s camp called him a trader for standing up for justice and injustice, while George was snorting coke far from the war. Bush is a coward and kids are being court marshaled today for acts of murder against civilians in a place they should not even be.I am an educated guy who likes to smoke pot. I am creative and write parodies, original songs and poetry, news stories, jokes and of course Happy Stoner stories. I’ve been on Myspace from the beginning and have the group The Happy Stoners with over 45,000 members. I look forward to my first Book and CD release due soon.~~~~~The Three Little Pigs!~~~ Once upon a time there lived 3 little pigs in this Apartment building behind a 7-11. They all had jobs but wanted there own cribs, but under the Bush Administration they were so fucked they had to share a one room studio in this dilapidated old infested duplex in order to save for down payments. Also in order to have enough money for weed, food and beer they had to all work full time at Wal-Mart where they made $8 bucks an hour with no benefits. They could have been scabs and cross the union picket lines but fucking the lower and middle class the pigs just couldn’t do it as real Americans. They never thought capitalism meant fuck all moral and values for money and never understood why celebrating greed on television advertising and shows like “ Life Styles of the Rich and Famous” were popular and watched by people who could hardy afford to pay their own gas bill.The pigs did have a band with this Singer named The Big Bad Wolf who his friends called Resolv and they preformed gigs like 4 nights a week. They played Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Stuff from the sound track of Jesus Christ Superstar. So like after 3 years of screwing band whores and knockin down bongers they bought a three unit condo about 150 miles outside of town because that’s all they could fucking afford!But they were cool and they were happy. Bink was rapin and watching Jack Ass on the tube, while Foo was eatin hot dogs and drinking lemonade, and all the time The Swede was pumping William Shatner covers and The British Invasion on his walkman.One night the pigs were finishing up a gig and leaving with Resolv who was no ordinary Wolf, he was a decent singer but at the ripe age of 20 had a very active mind, he was into shit like Tuntablism, Graffiti, Emcee'in, B-boyin, Beatboxin, Makers Mark, Beat Production, Scratchin up a storm, Recording, Graphic Design, Canvas, I-path, Volcom, Hoodies, krux, swiss bones, blacklabel, skatebordin, snowboardin, heavy metal, members of the female persuasion of any species with a tail but the thing this wolf dose best is Puff. He had a corn cobb pipe filled with The kush and chunks of Blond Lebanese Hash and he was passing it with his band mates and a few of the local tramps.So they pile into this 68 Impala Resolv drove down from Alaska and go speeding down the road at like 90. They get to the Condos the pigs just bought and go inside. The place was pretty empty except for a Plasma TV they lifted from Crazy Eds. When they turned it on the news warned of a tornado coming.Just than Bink looks out the window and shouts…HERE Comes the twister. Foo yells from the kitchen your twistin one up?! Bink yells no a Twister is heading our way, but before they could take another hit or toke on the pipe the Tornado hits and lifts the house right up out of the ground. Its lifting and spinning…spinning and sailingÂ…The pigs and wolf are pinned to the floor squealing and howling. Than they feel the floor drop and the whole house hits the ground with a thud. The Sweede grabs the pipe that fell on the floor and asks the wolf for a light. They want to see where they are and the damage but thought finishing the bowl was way more important. After they taped the last couple of hits all four went to the window to look out side. The ground was sand and rock the other houses were made of mud and there were all these tan people waring sandles and towels on their heads gathering around the house shouting kill the pigs. It seems they left their own town and country and landed in a foreign place called Afghanistan. The House had landed right on Bin Laden, his beard sticking out of the foundation.The pigs and wolf had done what the Bush administration was waiting a month before the election to do. Find and kill public enemy number one. Just than the marines landed a Black Hawk Helicopter and rushed the house grabbling our heroes and whisking them into the copter and to safety. Soon they were back in the States riding down the busy streets of New York with their own parade. They were lit because Foo had a one hitter in his pocket and the four took turns hitting it as they waved to the crowd. After the parade Resolv went home to his old lady in Alaska. The pigs on the other hand had no place to go. The condos were gone and they had no money left. The Government didn’t care and wouldn’t help because they could gain nothing for it. Big business didn’t care because they couldn’t make a buck off of them either and The Rich and famous couldn’t care less because they were too busy taking pictures of themselves to hang in there 20 room mansions. It seemed again the people who did the work got nothing in return, but isn’t that the American Way? Well there was one person who did care. One person who helped the little guy. One who didnÂ’t care if they had money or power. One who only sought Peace and love sounds and colors, friendship and smiles and bongers. That’s right The Happy Stoner. He brought them home and fed them, loaded bowls for the pigs and gave them a floor to sleep on. The Happy Stoner let them stay until they could get back on their pig feet.Soon the pigs were working again and loading bowls. They got another one room studio behind the local 7-11 and started all over again. But they were happy because this experience gave them something they could never buy. New friends to party with in a place with the finest Kush just a phone call away.The pigs stayed in California and lived poorly but happily ever after. They could never afford property again because a shack costs like $500 in the “Golden” State but the chicks only fucked guys in bands anyway so they got some tail. The End. /img