Christopher Fontaine profile picture

Christopher Fontaine

I am here for Networking

About Me

im hear to meet som sexey ladys!!1!!!;0;)))((

My Interests

Facebook.com

I'd like to meet:

A 7 foot tall black woman who respects me and doesn't take my junk.

Now You Can Be A Member Too!

Music:

My own personal recordings, Eddie Murphy

Movies:

Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes To Jail, Ernest Saves Christmas, Ernest Scared Stupid (Generally considered as an "Unofficial" entry in the Ernest series), Ernest Goes to Bi-Mart, 9 to 5

Television:

Nothing except "Blind Date"

Books:

My First Illustrated Torah, Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health, The South Beach Diet, Achy Breaky Heart : The Rise and Fall of Billy Ray Cyrus, The Keitel Diaries, 50 Years of Meow Mix Commercials, Anna KareninaMagazines: "People", "Teen People", "Shaved Teen People".

Heroes:

1. Rip Torn 2. Dwight Yokem in "Slingblade" 3. John Belushi 4. Christopher Walken 5. Jesus 6. Charles "Chuckles" Manson 7. Gob on " Arrested Development" 8. people named Lloyd 9. Satan 10. the naked cowboy 11. the naked pediatrician 12. Christopher Walken again 13. Amy Sedaris 14. Dr. Jacoby on Twin Peaks 15. Pat O'Brian 16. Tommy Lee 17. John Holmes cuz he has a HUUUGE dik 18. Lou Reed 19. Dennis Hopper 20. O. J. Simpson 21. James Hong 22. Deep Roy 23. Helen Keller 24. Bea Arthur 25. Steve Buscemi 26. Abraham Lincoln 27. Angela Lansbury 28. Ben Vereen 29. Robbie the Robot 30. The Tourettes Guy 31. The Monkey What Pees In His Mouth 32. Rodney Dangerfield 33. Alanis Morrisette 34. G. G. Allin 35. Kobos 36. My Dad 37. Gilligan 38. The Skipper Too 39. The Millionaire 40. And His Wife 41. The Movie Star 42. Cheech Marin 43. The Professor 44. Macy Gray 45. Donovan Leitch 46. The Magician 47. Indiana Jones

My Blog

Let Me Tell You A Little Something About Myspace

I am both sick and tired of people constantly shitting on Myspace. If I could set up a personal web-page, I would. But the truth of it is, most of us aren't so technologically inclined. So I offer a h...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 08:33:00 PST

My Public Apology Statement

The individuals on my top 8 friends list are there purely in the interest of humor. I intended it to be ironic, but I realize now that I've hurt more than a few of you. I in no way support the preside...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 07:41:00 PST

What's The Deal?

In case you guys missed it, this was my comic for South Salem High School's student-written newspaper "The Clypian", which was printed last month.Easy Myspace helpI copied 2 Seinfeld pictures off of b...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 12:48:00 PST

Some Kind Of Sexual Pun

I found these poems (and spazzy introduction to) while digitally rummaging through my storage files for Cyber-trash to E-dump. Sometimes I forget how clever I used to be.I've decided to share with yo...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 12:09:00 PST

Abbot and Costello Meet Blackenstein

Here's a little conversation I had with some dude under Miles' screen name. Enjoy!: IfYouWantBlood14: hey foreverock42: hey IfYouWantBlood14: you know those guitar hero posters at safeway i t...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Thu, 24 Nov 2005 04:41:00 PST

Look At Those Shaved Men Go

Let me tell you something about old Kurt Russell. He's a real cock-sucking, mother-fucker. He'll say he loves you in the same minute that he punches you in the mouth. If you dress him up as ...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Wed, 12 Oct 2005 12:34:00 PST

Vaginal Mystery Tour

I stepped out of the shower one evening, not having been taking in any kind of hygienic rinsing, due entirely to the fact that I was wearing swimming trunks. In the middle of the drying of my leg hai...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Thu, 01 Sep 2005 05:28:00 PST

Suck my Blog

So I'm watching this program about asteroids on the History Channel and I'm thinking... maybe all these scientists should just quit now. They've already dismissed our tales of the Loch Ness monster, ...
Posted by Christopher Fontaine on Mon, 29 Aug 2005 06:14:00 PST